Those damned Noses

What's Mallard raving about today?

Comic Superheroes

Frankly, I'm surprised Mallard lasted this long before that whole Gay Green Lantern thing started bugging him again.

That damned Plan

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern, Hollywood

And, somehow, this comes back to the victim complex of Mallard and the modern Republican Party.

But...Mel Gibson is as Republican as the day is long. Problem solved.

That damned Mission

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern, Homosexuals

And, there we have it...Mallard has reached the point where he's saying that saving the world from a Super Villain is easier than portraying someone as gay without resorting to crude stereotypes.

But, you know, like with racism, it's everyone else who has a problem, not Mallard.

That damned Lycra

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern

As is typical, the longer Mallard continues on this topic, the more blatantly offensive he gets.

At the start, you could charitably read what he was saying as chastising DC for thinking someone being Gay was even shocking.

But now, it's pretty clear he's just being a hateful bigot, though he still chose to say "fly around in the air" rather than going all the way and saying "mince around."

That damned Shock

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern

Mallard, you think this topic is seriously worth 2 days?

That damned Reaction

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern

Is Mallard Fillmore actually saying that announcements that someone is gay are no longer worthy of note since homosexuality is know of normal?

Because I'm pretty sure that'll get you branded as a heretic in the GOP.

That damned Debate

What's Mallard raving about today?

Don't Ask Don't Tell, Colleges

Let's compare lists of college professors fired for that reason and service members discharged just for being gay, OK?

That damned Question

What's Mallard raving about today?

Himself, The Media, Unemployment.

Hey kids, remember how Mallard was unemployed? Well, he still is apparently, although he spent all week bitching about stuff rather than looking for a job.

But don't worry, it's not his fault. It's because he's conservative. Or because Gays will be allowed to openly serve in the Military. Or something...frankly, his logic is kind of hard to follow.

But suffice it to say you fucking hippies are to blame for something!

That damned Winner

What's Mallard raving about today?

Miss USA.

Proving what, exactly?

That damned Hugo Chavez

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hugo Chavez, Miss USA Pageant.

What's the matter?

Couldn't you draw Zombie Hitler as a straw judge?

That damned Video

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gay Marriage, President Obama.

It's riveting to see someone demonstrate so publicly how little they understand an issue and how limited their intellect is.

Let's review what happened in the event:

• Pageant Contestant answered question: Freedom of expression.
• Pageant Judge disliked her answer and gave her low marks: Freedom of expression.

No where in the Constitution does it say that freedom of expression protects you from repercussions if someone disagrees with you. You get to say what you want, but you have to take responsibility for what you say. Want to test that theory, Mallard? Go insult the person who signs your checks.

I also feel compelled to point out that proponents of Gay Marriage, primarily, want the ability to enjoy the same legal protections and rights which accrue to married couples. I am pretty sure that "sanctified" status is not a big concern, seeing that "sanctified" is not a legally enforceable status.

Finally, even if this drivel were taken literally, I am pretty sure President Obama can live with the curse of never becoming Miss USA, since he's a little busy being the President of the United States of America.

That damned Hate Speech

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hate Speech, Miss California, Gay Marriage.

Disagreeing with someone on Gay Marriage is not the same as accusing them of Hate Speech.

I know that's hard to understand for a Republican, a party in which deviation from what Rush Limbaugh believes is not tolerated.

But for the rest of us, it is possible.

Those damned queer pets

What's Mallard raving about today?

Reality TV.

I think I know what's going on. Mallard is playing a game of I Spy with himself.

He looks around his apartment and makes a cartoon out of the first three things that catch his eye. In this case a dog, a sweater, and a queer.

What the dog is doing in his apartment is any one's guess.

Those damned college students

What's Mallard raving about today?

Lesbians, probably liberals (although since this is just part one of a continued panel, we can only guess)

Ooooh, to be continued! Well, it will be nearly impossible to wait for the thrilling continuation of this plotline, but I'll just have to master my raging curiosity. In the meantime, I will spend my time wondering why Mallard mentioned the lesbian aunt by name in this panel. Will that become important later or is it just a red herring?