What's Mallard raving about today?
We can add fish to the list of things that Bruce Tinsley never actually looked at before deciding he was capable of drawing. It joins people, ducks, pastries, guns, states, furniture, and every geometric shape except rectangles.
SUNDAY, that is!
Will Bruce ever get over his PTSD? (Pretty Tiring Sushi Disappointment)
It took me a while, but I'm pretty sure Brews' point is, "Fancy restaurants SUCK, hur hur hur." And if you're looking to go out and eat something classier than the beer nuts swept off the floor of the local dive, you're an elitist who deserves to eat the wrong fish. Because Rill Amercians eat at places where they don't have to put on pants.
Please- the only fish Mallard (or Bruce) eats is from McDonald's- but he's ecstatic he now has a choice of the filet o'fish or the new Fish McBites (or Tartar Tots as someone funnier than I called them).
MONDAY:Apparently, Saudi Arabia has no shortage of goofy Interpretive Dancers.Wait--did Bruce just come out against the death penalty? Maybe next he could do a strip about Texas running out of electricity for its chairs.Wikipedia says of Texan lethal injections: "As a result of drug shortages, sodium thiopental was replaced by pentobarbital in 2011." See, Bruce? Joke writes itself.
When I made certain types of statement, my dad (CAPT [Ret] USNR) used to ask me "Are you bragging or complaining?" Somebody needs to ask Bruce that about a lot of strips. Like this one, for instance. I can't tell whether his central point is "Hurf durf lib'ruls blame everything on the sequester" or "hurf durf heathen browns are no longer chopping off heads". The only point I see (besides the reason Tinz' momma should've taught him to wear a hat) is Bill's about interpretive dance.
Maybe we're misdirecting our criticism. Maybe it's not Tinsley's fault he can't draw anything. Maybe we should save our ire for whoever it is that describes stuff to him.
SUNDAY: Life is awful in the oceanMONDAY: Life is awful in Saudi ArabiaTUESDAY: Life is awful somewhere else
"Damn smartypants Obummer, bein' right about stuff." - That is today's joke, such as it is, isn't it?
@CW: No, I'm pretty sure it's "Hurf durf lib'ruls blame everything on the sequester".
WEDNESDAY: Drawing Dennis Rodman has got to be a lot of fun, and I suppose the "punchline" as actually identifiable as such, so today's "comic" is the high point of "Mallard Fillmore" in this and perhaps any other century.(See: "damning with faint praise")
Faint praise: "This strip is up to Tinsley's usual standard of excellence."
TURDSDAY:So now that the power to send killer robots to execute people without a trial is in the hands of a blah president who might very well inflict such death on Real 'Murkins, Brucie is concerned about it. In the words of a great American poet, it's a little too little, it's a little too late.
1. Is Mallard Fillmore agreeing with progressives that extrajudicial execution is wrong? 2. Or is it wrong only when Obama does it?C'MON BRUCIE, we know you sometimes read this ... tell us! Maybe you just might get some bipartisan agreement on this.....if you're sincere.
"If you're sincere." Hah -- good one, Randy.Yeah, looks like Mallard remembered that he's on Obama's "enemies list". Of course, being targeted for retaliatory action wasn't a concern of his back when the previous president was illegally spying on Americans -- but then, that president wasn't a Scary Negro Secret Muslim Commie Socialist.
1. Is Mallard Fillmore agreeing with progressives that extrajudicial execution is wrong?2. Or is it wrong only when Obama does it?Yeah, I think we all know the answer to that one. If Willard had been elected, today's strip would no doubt be along the lines of, "If you're a Real Amercian, you have nothing to fear from FreedomDrones!!!"
FRAUDDAYOnce again, Mallard Fillmore bravely comes out against a position absolutely fucking nobody holds outside the febrile imaginings of Fox So-Called News, Rush Limbaugh, the Republican Party, and the other wholly-owned and -operated subsidiaries of the Noise Machine.
Drunk-driving laws should be eliminated, because they don't deter drunk driving.--- Signed Bruce Tinsley
A new philosophical question presents itself: Could Bruce Tinsley create a straw man so big that even he couldn't knock it down?
I have to comment on yesterday's "comic". Let's be clear what we're talking about here. Bruce Tinsley is "concerned" that President Obama is going to blow him up (at home presumably) WITH A HELLFIRE MISSILE LAUNCHED FROM THE AIR. Does he realize how ridiculous that scenario is? Is he so busy suckling at Rand Paul's teat that he can't think about this for, ohhh, about 5 seconds and realize how fucking stupid that scenario is? Don't these civil rights Johnny-come-latelys realize that the government has had the power to blow anybody they wanted up from the air from 100s or even 1000's of miles away for decades, and it has never happened and never will?It's just incredibly laughable and pathetic.
Another mythical species: an intelligent, avian news reporter.Another interpretation of today's strip: MF, the GOP, and NRA think that shooting babies is OK.DW
SHAT-ON DAY:See my comment on Turdsday, since this is basically the same strip with a different coat of (neither new nor fresh) paint.
We know Tinshley is sincere because he criticized George W Bush for getting 4,000+ Americans (and God knows how many Iraqis) killed for a lie. Not.
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