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Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

Once again, Happy Memorial Day.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Those damned Branches

What's Mallard raving about today?

Students, Government

I'm fear for our education system if students believe the government is made up of stuff that only exists in Mallard's fevered imagination.

Friday, May 28, 2010

That damned Problem

What's Mallard raving about today?

Schools, Math.

Mallard has quite a lot of nerve criticizing anyone's math.

His logic is also flawless: The Education system is bad...therefore spending more money to fix it won't work.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

That damned Hospital

What's Mallard raving about today?

The VA.

Items which should appear in the missing 4th panel:

  • But don't raise taxes to pay for health care for Veterans!
  • This is outrageous, but I couldn't have cared less when President Bush was in office.
  • And yet, the VA provides better healthcare than the private medical system the rest of us are forced to deal with.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

That damned strategy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Retirement, Fannie Mae, Greece.

What a tool of the aristocracy Mallard Fillmore is. God forbid he criticize Goldman Sachs, BofA, JP Morgan, Citigroup, or AIG for taking money.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

That damned shirt

What's Mallard raving about today?

Kids, clothes.

Mallard Fillmore: President Obama isn't acting in a bipartisan fashion. Oh, did I mention that all liberal educators hate America? Anyway, about that bipartisanship...

Monday, May 24, 2010

That damned Consensus

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Elena Kagan, Consensus.

Yes, it's too bad the President was unable to reach consensus with Republicans, seeing as how they have been acting in good faith.

Like Mitt Romney who rejected a Health Care Plan which was virtually identical to the one he put in place in Massachusetts.

And Sarah "Death Panels" Palin.

Or the Republicans who called for a bipartisan debt commission but when President Obama agreed to it, seven of them suddenly disagreed?

You can't build consensus with people who are only interested in burning the house down.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Those damned Fish

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fish, Free Lunches.

Because this is an accurate representation of the type of Right Wing rhetoric that people object to.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

That damned Speech

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Hate Speech.

Seriously, why not just write: "President Obama. Hate Speech. Booga Booga!"

It's just as funny, just as apt, and would elicit the same reaction from the people of who reacted to the actual strip, since both are just empty recitations of dog whistle terms.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Those damned Illegals

What's Mallard raving about today?


Even by Mallard Fillmore standards, this makes absolutely no sense at all.

Unrelated, however I look forward to three days of Mallard'd outrage over this, no matter what race the bomber turns out to be.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

That damned Dentist

What's Mallard raving about today?

Terrorists, Teabaggers.

Mallard Fillmore lives in a world where there is just not enough anti-Muslim sentiment in America.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

That damned Profile

What's Mallard raving about today?

SUVs, President Obama, Terrorism.

Statistically-speaking, this may be more effective than Mallard's desire to profile people who look like terrorists.

Oh, and racism is dead.

Monday, May 17, 2010

That damned Pakistani

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Terrorists.

Under normal circumstances, I'd spend some time commenting on how ridiculous this Straw Man is.

Today I will just say how relieved I am that Mallard is done moaning about recent college graduates.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

That damned future

What's Mallard raving about today?

College, Psychology.

Like the situation is different for anyone with any degree?

In any event, how nice of Mallard to greet the approaching graduation season by mocking the hard work of those graduating. Stay classy, Mallard.

Oh, and Mallard...Carly Fiorina, Republican darling and ex-CEO of Hewlett-Packard? Medieval history and philosophy major.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Those damned Sciences

What's Mallard raving about today?

Science. College.

Mallard Fillmore, noted how-can-global-warming-be-real-if-it-is-cold-outside-ologist and one of the world's foremost Republican mathematicians. is appalled that this young man did not pursue a degree in Math or Science.

I honestly wonder sometimes what it is like going through life so blissfully stupid and unaware.

Friday, May 14, 2010

That damned major

What's Mallard raving about today?


And yet, despite the Straw Man, being a Deconstructionist Gender-Theory Grad Student would contribute more to society than churning out Mallard Fillmore everyday.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

That damned teaching

What's Mallard raving about today?


Based on what Mallard believes college is like, I suspect he never went.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Those damned Candidates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Conservatives.

Either that, or they are not running against radicals that are on the extreme edge of their party, which forces them to appeal to the lunatic fringe of the party and claim the mantle of idealogical purity.

Monday, May 10, 2010

That damned School

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, Arizona, Journalism.

First, I do not grant for one moment that journalists have given the Teabaggers a hard time. If it wren't for the incessant media flogging of them and inflation of their numbers during last summer, I doubt the movement would have the legs it has.

Second, 30% of Americans say racial prejudice underlies the Tea Party, so we can't really single out journalists in this regard.

Finally, if you don't want to be perceived as a bunch of racist thugs with paranoid and conspiracy theory tendencies, then sever ties with the people you keep giving speak slots to at your events, because they are racists, paranoids, and conspiracy theorists.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

That damned Quiz

What's Mallard raving about today?

Education, Civic Literacy.

Mallard, unwilling to pay for Education via taxes, is nonetheless more than willing to bitch about the quality of it.

By the way, Mallard, I'd like to call your attention to some of the questions/answers in said quiz:
  • Q: Which of the following fiscal policy combinations would a government most likely follow to stimulate economic activity when the economy is in a severe recession? A:decreasing taxes and increasing spending
  • Q: The Bill of Rights explicitly prohibits A: establishing an official religion for the United States
  • Q: A flood-control levee (or National Defense) is considered a public good because A: a resident can benefit from it without directly paying for it

Hmmmmm...I wonder if Public Education would be considered a public good?

Oh, and I am willing to bet I scored higher than Mallard ;-)

Saturday, May 08, 2010

That damned rating

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Smoking.

Given Mallard's track record while President Bush's approval dropped into the 20's, he has as much credibility speaking about President Obama's approval rating as he does talking about Government spending after silently approving while Republicans spent us into the largest deficit in history.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Those damned People

What's Mallard raving about today?


Wow, so many possible responses...

  • Mallard, the people you hang out with say that because they are terrified to hear you talk about your feelings.
  • ...Says the duck who is currently sharing his feelings with us about people who share their feelings.
  • I might suggest that this is a candidate for Creepiest Unintentional Revelation, but I suppose the fact that Mallard hates pretty much all other people doesn't really count as a revelation, does it?

Thursday, May 06, 2010

That damned Plan

What's Mallard raving about today?

Iran, President Obama, President Bush.

This suggest that having a Plan B is necessary, when we all know that the Wingnut Plan A (Bomb, Bomb, Bomb...) never needed a Plan B.

This also suggests that Iran is not (to some degree) President Bush's fault. Which would mean that they developed all of their nuclear capabilities since January 2009, which is a stretch even for someone with Mallard's obvious intellectual deficiencies.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

That damned Tea Party

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, Liberals, Spanking.

On days like today I wonder why Mallard doesn't just write "Don't you just hate the same stuff I do?" and be done with it.

Progressive anti-spanking policy? Seriously?

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

That damned Cause

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Clinton, Terrorists.

Just as stupid and false as it was yesterday. Nice attempt at white-washing the violent and racist Teabagger rhetoric, though. No defense of the Eliminationist-in-Chief, Glenn Beck?

Monday, May 03, 2010

That damned quote

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Clinton, Terrorists.

Blame the evil acts on the people who commit them? I look forward to Mallard going after Republican Steve King (Iowa) who blamed the victims and justified terrorism:
I think if we’d abolished the IRS back when I first advocated it, he wouldn’t have a target for his airplane. And I’m still for abolishing the IRS, I’ve been for it for thirty years and I’m for a national sales tax. [...]It’s sad the incident in Texas happened, but by the same token, it’s an agency that is unnecessary and when the day comes when that is over and we abolish the IRS, it’s going to be a happy day for America.
And, for what it is worth, if (unlike Mallard and his readers) you care about the truth as opposed to the ridiculous Straw Men (against whom Mallard racks up his only wins in arguments). you can go here or here.

Mallard is, of course, proving President Clinton's point by demonizing President Clinton is lieu of reasoned discussion or debate.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

That damned Lemonade

What's Mallard raving about today?

Health Care Reform.

Yes, because the Insurance industry is just as sweet and lovable as a child running a lemonade stand.

I mean, it's not like they'd target customers diagnosed with breast cancer and then aggressively seek to cancel their policies, right?

Saturday, May 01, 2010

That damned Form

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Census, The IRS.

What? I mean, seriously. What?

For days on end complaining about the Census (which, for a group which suggests it wants strict adherence to the Constitution is about as stupid as it gets).

And now, the IRS could learn from the Census form?

I'm flabbergasted.