What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals
Whereas in the Republican plan you give all the roots, berries, and Woolly Mammoths to the 1%, and claim that will mean more for everyone. Amazingly, when put into practice, this results in running out in 2 years instead of 5.
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Showing posts with label Liberals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liberals. Show all posts
Friday, September 07, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Those damned Beetles
What's Mallard raving about today?
Starbucks, Vegans.
It's days like today that you realize just how bad at his job Mallard Fillmore is. I mean, here we have a perfectly innocuous comic and even a recognizable joke.
But, for God's sake Mallard...a Frappuccino has MILK in it. Do you even understand what a Vegan is? You think that suddenly, with the introduction of beetles, the Frappucino is off the menu for them?
Mallard Fillmore: 100% wrong 100% of the time.
Starbucks, Vegans.
It's days like today that you realize just how bad at his job Mallard Fillmore is. I mean, here we have a perfectly innocuous comic and even a recognizable joke.
But, for God's sake Mallard...a Frappuccino has MILK in it. Do you even understand what a Vegan is? You think that suddenly, with the introduction of beetles, the Frappucino is off the menu for them?
Mallard Fillmore: 100% wrong 100% of the time.
Update: Apparently in this story, the Frappucino is made with soy milk, so, you know, my bad!
Sunday, April 01, 2012
That damned Feul
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals
Oh, I get it, this is an April Fools joke since only a fool would find it interesting!
Strange, though, that it seems the same as every Mallard Fillmore ever.
Liberals
Oh, I get it, this is an April Fools joke since only a fool would find it interesting!
Strange, though, that it seems the same as every Mallard Fillmore ever.
Monday, March 26, 2012
That damned Demonstration
What's Mallard raving about today?
Rush Limbaugh, The Media
Right on cue (read: 3-weeks later when I am sure every single sentient Republican would rather everyone stop talking about it), Mallard rides to Rush Limbaugh's rescue.
Right on message, he decides to go for the "Liberals do it also!" defense.
Unfortunately for Rush, the GOP, and Mallard, American Women have clearly understood the difference between diatribes directed at public figures (such as Sarah Palin, Michele Bachman, and Hilary Clinton) and a sustained 3-day verbal assault on a private citizen whose stepped forward to testify in front of Congress.
That said, Mallard...PLEASE keep this issue alive! PLEASE keep highlighting that Republicans simply don't see anything at all wrong with what Limbaugh said (aside from maybe an indelicate choice of words). Because this is a great election-year issue for Republicans. Honestly. If you just keep talking about it long enough, you will brow-beat women into believing you.
(For what it is worth, I would appreciate that you take the same approach with the Ryan budget, which is also an election-year winner for you, especially if you take the approach that brow-beating America with the rightness and righteousness of your position will eventually win out.)
Rush Limbaugh, The Media
Right on cue (read: 3-weeks later when I am sure every single sentient Republican would rather everyone stop talking about it), Mallard rides to Rush Limbaugh's rescue.
Right on message, he decides to go for the "Liberals do it also!" defense.
Unfortunately for Rush, the GOP, and Mallard, American Women have clearly understood the difference between diatribes directed at public figures (such as Sarah Palin, Michele Bachman, and Hilary Clinton) and a sustained 3-day verbal assault on a private citizen whose stepped forward to testify in front of Congress.
That said, Mallard...PLEASE keep this issue alive! PLEASE keep highlighting that Republicans simply don't see anything at all wrong with what Limbaugh said (aside from maybe an indelicate choice of words). Because this is a great election-year issue for Republicans. Honestly. If you just keep talking about it long enough, you will brow-beat women into believing you.
(For what it is worth, I would appreciate that you take the same approach with the Ryan budget, which is also an election-year winner for you, especially if you take the approach that brow-beating America with the rightness and righteousness of your position will eventually win out.)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
That damned Extremist
What's Mallard raving about today?
Bears, Extremists, Liberals
Mallard's timing curse continues, as he chooses this week to insist that stereotyping based on appearance is just fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
(In reality Mallard's "timing curse" is not to hard to explain, given the fact that he's 100% wrong 100% of the time.)
Bears, Extremists, Liberals
Mallard's timing curse continues, as he chooses this week to insist that stereotyping based on appearance is just fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
(In reality Mallard's "timing curse" is not to hard to explain, given the fact that he's 100% wrong 100% of the time.)
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
That damned Bracelet
What's Mallard raving about today?
Dinosaurs, Liberals.
Apparently someone challenged Mallard Fillmore to come up with the worst metaphor ever.
Seriously, Mallard, if you're not even going to try anymore, this is no fun.
Dinosaurs, Liberals.
Apparently someone challenged Mallard Fillmore to come up with the worst metaphor ever.
Seriously, Mallard, if you're not even going to try anymore, this is no fun.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
That damned Experience
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals
Oh, please...it's not even fun making sport at such a feeble effort.
Liberals
Oh, please...it's not even fun making sport at such a feeble effort.
Monday, November 07, 2011
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, Dinosaurs
Uh, Mallard, you understand that Tyrannosaurus was also a carnivore, right?
In terms of your metaphor here, if the Tyrannosaurus was "old" then, in the animal kingdom, death is a pretty likely fate. Also, can you think of any other words with the same root as "Tyrannosaurus" which mean this metaphor works better when read with the opposite intent as yours?
God, you really suck at your job.
BTW - I realize I am not in the segment of Mallard's readers which are reflexively reflexively frightened at the dog whistle metaphor of a "pack" of "carnivores."
Liberals, Dinosaurs
Uh, Mallard, you understand that Tyrannosaurus was also a carnivore, right?
In terms of your metaphor here, if the Tyrannosaurus was "old" then, in the animal kingdom, death is a pretty likely fate. Also, can you think of any other words with the same root as "Tyrannosaurus" which mean this metaphor works better when read with the opposite intent as yours?
God, you really suck at your job.
BTW - I realize I am not in the segment of Mallard's readers which are reflexively reflexively frightened at the dog whistle metaphor of a "pack" of "carnivores."
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
That damned Radish
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, Whole Foods
Oh, man. It's going to be a whole week of pithy observations which Mallard thinks are contradictory about Whole Foods shoppers. Wake me next week.
Liberals, Whole Foods
Oh, man. It's going to be a whole week of pithy observations which Mallard thinks are contradictory about Whole Foods shoppers. Wake me next week.
Monday, October 17, 2011
That damned Birkenfoods
What's Mallard raving about today?
Volvos, Bumper Stockers.
Mallard, when you pulled this off the shelf because you just didn't feel like writing something new today, did it not occur to you to replace "Volvo" with "Prius" so it sounds like you wrote it this decade?
For God's sake, do we have to do everything for you?
In that vein...here's a fun challenge for the comments: re-write this using fewer than the approximately 50 words it took Mallard.
Volvos, Bumper Stockers.
Mallard, when you pulled this off the shelf because you just didn't feel like writing something new today, did it not occur to you to replace "Volvo" with "Prius" so it sounds like you wrote it this decade?
For God's sake, do we have to do everything for you?
In that vein...here's a fun challenge for the comments: re-write this using fewer than the approximately 50 words it took Mallard.
Monday, September 19, 2011
That damned Status Quo
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama
Mallard's concern trolling is touching, but laughable...but I am too busy right now to bother commenting. Please eviscerate in the comments.,
President Obama
Mallard's concern trolling is touching, but laughable...but I am too busy right now to bother commenting. Please eviscerate in the comments.,
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