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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

That damned Season

What's Mallard raving about today?


Most of what they say should land them in a lunatic asylum.

It's a sad comment on the Republican Party that, instead, they appears on televised "debates".

Monday, January 30, 2012

Those damned Novels

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mayans, Novels

Mallard Fillmore: Would rather the world come to an end that be forced to read a book.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

That damned Bumper Sticker

What's Mallard raving about today?


This makes absolutely no sense. In the metaphor Mallard is attempting, all herbivores would be equally easy to target.

Pretty much all I can parse out of this is that Mallard is a petty ass hat who manages to be offended by bumper stickers.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

That damned Butt Call

What's Mallard raving about today?

The First Amendment

Thus proving that, like many of Mallard's "strict constructionist" cohorts, he doesn't even faintly understand the Constitution he pretends to revere.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Thursday, January 26, 2012

That damned Devil

What's Mallard raving about today?


Considering both the humor and insight on display today, Mallard Fillmore could have gotten the same result by simply posting a wordless picture of a duck head.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Those damned Ears

What's Mallard raving about today?

Kim Jong Un

I guess Mallard's going to spend all of 2012 making predictions.

It's also probably a safe bet all of 2012 will exhibit the same juvenile sensibility on display today.

Seriously, Mallard. Didn;t you give up schoolboy insults when you left the third grade, like the rest of us?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

That damned Logo

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama

Is Mallard Fillmore really complaining that President Obama appears on TV? I mean, he is the leader of the free world, but that's no reason for News outlets to cover him.

Monday, January 23, 2012

That damned Grant

What's Mallard raving about today?

Anthony Weiner, NEA

Bringing up Anthony Weiner simply indicates there's nothing really to complain about...which won't stop you from trying, of course.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

That damned Rodent Day

What's Mallard raving about today?

Rodents, Holidays.

Someone's over-compensating for missing various patriotic holidays over the years, methinks.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Those damned Explosions

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hiring, Smoking

On this hand...a desire to avoid second-hand smoke, a desire to inform people of the dangers of smoking, and a desire to pass legislation to discourage a behavior which is know to kill people.

On this hand...hiring practices which discriminate against people engaging in a 100% legal behavior.

And on this wing...a duck who can't distinguish between the two.

Friday, January 20, 2012

That damned Santorum

What's Mallard raving about today?

Rick Santorum

I'm not sure name recognition is Santorum's problem, at least not in the traditional sense of the phrase.

In other Santorum news, congratulations on winning in Iowa!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

That Damned Title

What's Mallard raving about today?

Kim Jong Un

Mallard, you draw a cartoon Duck (badly), mangle the English language, and make no sense despite feeling as if you are the spokesperson for America and/or Conservative America.

You're hardly in a position to criticize people with delusions of grandeur.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

That damned Rhetoric

Whats Mallard raving about today?

Republican debates

Republican candidates have some freaky non-human hands, there.

Monday, January 16, 2012

That damned Facial Expression

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mitt Romney

Jeez, Mallard. You can't even draw the letter "o"? Even for you that's a new low.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Thad damned Clone

What's Mallard raving about today?

Wooly Mammoths, the 1%

Mallard has completely bought into the Fox Propaganda talking points that this is about an entitlement or a desire for everyone to have equal wealth as opposed to everyone wanting a fair shot.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

That damned Mammoth

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, Taxes, Wooly Mammoths

Based on the fact that it will be the only Wooly Mammoth in existence, it will be part of the 1% so Congress will give it a tax break, is what I think you mean.

In other news...Mallard Fillmore decided he needs a significant raise in 2012. Unable to increase his income, he reduces the hours he spends "working" so his hourly rate goes up. The quality of his strip decreases, but only slightly, since there really wasn't much room to get worse in the first place.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Those damned Departments

What's Mallard raving about today?


Once more, Mallard, The USPS is not breaking and/or losing stuff with any regularity for anyone but you.

I leave it to you to come up with a logical explanation.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

That damned Discrimination

What's Mallard raving about today?

Asian-Americans, Discrimination, Civil-Right Community

Uh, Mallard...the article in question is about how some people don't check the box indicating their Asian race because they think it puts them at a disadvantage in college admissions.

Now, I know in your tiny, tiny lizard brain (tinged as it is by a certainty that Christians, Conservatives, and Whites are unfairly disadvantaged and discriminated against in every single human endeavor, a certainty based exclusively on the your feeling that it must be true) this is proof.

But, for those of us with intellects which developed after the 2nd grade, the articles doesn't actually offer any specific proof the discrimination is real.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Those damned Bikers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Occupy Wall Street

Mallard fantasy that Occupy protesters get the shit kicked out of him is bleeding over into his comic.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

That damned Sandwich

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Election

So, I guess Mallard is trying to say that pretty much anyone can beat President Obama, which may or may not be true.

What's impossible to credit, however, is the idea that a Grilled Cheese Sandwich could possibly engender more  unforeseen Constitutional questions than a Black man winning the Presidency did among Right Wingers.

Monday, January 09, 2012

That damned Word

What's Mallard raving about today?


Ordinary Americans, who need a break not a lecture, are being lectured about proper usage from a waterfowl with only rudimentary language skills.

But, for what it's worth, Mallard. The word awesome lost its meaning long ago.

And, it's January 9, for crying out loud, stop with the psychotic New Year's fixation.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Those damned Pears

What's Mallard raving about today?


However, as Mallard pointed out recently, all of College Football must be completely disavowed, because of Penn State.

Friday, January 06, 2012

Those damned Names

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac

This just in, Mallard reports things which haven't changed as if they were news, lending further credence to the idea that his "job" exists only in his own mind and his newscasts occur from his parent's basement.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

That damned Post Office

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Post Office

I only trust studies from the Fillmore Foundation. These "analysts" of which you speak are probably communists.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

That damned Guess

What's Mallard raving about today?


On the evidence of roughly 2000 Mallard Fillmore strips, today's strip is true. A random dude in a bar is far more likely to have a better guess at virtually any topic than Mallard.

I'm not sure that's what Mallard was getting at, but as he hasn't seen fit to provide any means for deciphering, we'll go with literal reading.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

That damned Volt

What's Mallard raving about today?

Chevy Volt

Mallard hates the Chevy Volt for reasons known only to watchers of Fox.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Those damned Drones

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Iran, Drones

For a party that wants us to bomb Iran, Republicans are awful dainty about losses over Iran's airspace.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Those damned Jobs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mallard Fillmore starts 2012 pretty much where he spent 2011: People without jobs are hilarious!