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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Those damned endoscopes

What's Mallard raving about today?

The VA, Endoscopes.

Given the number of times Mallard mentioned the scandal at the VA and Walter Reed during the Bush Administration, it's shocking (just shocking) to me that care at the VA is suddenly on his list of concerns, now that President Obama is in office.

Monday, June 29, 2009

That damned Comparison

What's Mallard raving about today?

John Brown.

I will accept the comparison between John Brown and the man who shot Dr. Tiller. Both were murderers who engaged in terror tactics. The justice or injustice of their cause makes no difference.

I would be reasonably sure that anti-slavery rhetoric did come in for blame, and perhaps some some of it deservedly so, although I am not a historian of the period or subject.

On the other hand, unlike John Brown, we know the terrorist who killed Dr. Tiller is that he was subject to a 24x7 stream of "mainstream" commentators on television, using eliminationist rhetoric to reduce their political adversaries to sub-human status. Historically, the use of such rhetoric has incited, and continues to incite,misguided fanatics who put rhetoric into action.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

That damned Need

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mallard Fillmore, Washington DC, Democrats.

Yes, Washington needs you now more than ever, because, you know, it's so hard to find someone in Washington who is willing to mindlessly regurgitate Right Wing Talking Points and be generally dishonest.

Hopefully this marks the final self-gratification strip on this topic.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

That damned T-Shirt

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, People.

I think this guy should become a recurring character. He can be the official stand-in for "Most People" in all of Mallard's straw arguments.

Friday, June 26, 2009

That damned Roll

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Apologies.

It's fairly amazing to me that various Water Carriers for the Republican Party can go on and on and on and on in this manner about President Obama's speech in Cairo, and then they have the temerity to wonder why only the fringe 20% of Americans approve of the Republican Party.

It almost seems like a vast conspiratorial sociology experiment designed to find the limits of how many people will continue to follow an ideology, no matter what it represents.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

That damned Ankle

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sonia Sotomayor, Bill O'Reilly.

Who would have thought that Mallard could bring together his full-throated hatred of Sonia Sotomayor, for reasons which have never actually been made clear unless you credit his charge that she is a racist, and his full-throated defense of Bill O'Reilly, inciter of domestic terrorists?

I do hope that Mallard and his friends who are controlling the GOP message continue on this way, however. For all the bleating about Sotomayor being a racist and the GOP the party of tolerance, Latinos seem to be coming to a different conclusion.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Those damned Fans

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Bill O'Reilly, The Media.

Talk about status-quo...Mallard Fillmore's relationship to fact remains tenuous at best.

I do want to give special notice the way in which Mallard Fillmore advocates de facto appeasement toward domestic terrorism based on the grounds that the victims are "fans" of an entirely legal procedure which he abhors.

Otherwise, you'd think he might feel obligated to point out that the Bush Administration DHS report on Right-Wing Extremism, which he decried so fervently, turned out to be prescient.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

That damned Blame

What's Mallard raving about today?

Bill O'Reilly, The Media, Handguns.

Right. Let's worry about how this affects Bill O'Reilly and the handgun rather than the victim of terrorism and his family.

Monday, June 22, 2009

That damned Apology

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Apologies.

I wonder what it is like living in a world in which it is inconceivable to consider the possibility of ever having made a single mistake

Saturday, June 20, 2009

That damned Foundation

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sonia Sotomayor, Wisdom.

The last person from whom you'd want to take advice on either wisdom or what you should say is Mallard Fillmore.

For example, a wise waterfowl would realize that, by the time he started bleating about this incident, it would have long since played itself out.

Friday, June 19, 2009

That damned huh?

What's Mallard raving about today?

Democrats, Racism.

Democrats filibustered Miguel Estrada because he was too Conservative. This makes them Democrats, by my calculation, not racist.

Unless Mallard want to stipulate to the following: Republicans who did not vote for Barack Obama because he was too Liberal are racist.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

That damned Filibuster

What's Mallard raving about today?

Democrats, Republicans, Racism.

Te recap:

Democrats did not like Miguel Estrada's judicial philosophy and decided to filibuster his nomination because they knew that there was chance he could get nominated to the Supreme Court, in part because he was Hispanic.

Republicans do not like Sonia Sotomayor, although the only reason we know of to date is because one quote in her history suggests that she believes here Latina history could give her wisdom which people without her background lack. This, according to Mallard, is racism.

Also, according to Mallard, these two cases are equivalent.

Enjoy yourselves in the comments.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

That damned Justice

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Sonia Sotomayor

So, I am not going to go so far out on a limb to say Republicans won't succeed with this line of attack. After all this is the Party which has managed to actually cause people to debate whether torture is sometimes OK.

That said, I am not sure how exactly you are going win the argument that the first Black President and the first Latina nominee to the Supreme Court are both racist.

Not that I really want to dissuade the Republicans from pursuing this strategy if they are really hell bent on reaching the same levels of approval among Latinos as they currently have among Blacks.

Monday, June 15, 2009

That damned Wisdom

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sonia Sotomayor, President Obama

President Obama's chin has reached a disturbing new phase in its evolution in the second panel.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Those damned Graduates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Graduates, India.

The Party of No's Spokesduck says: American Education sucks! But don't you dare ask me to pay anything if you want to improve it.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

That damned plug

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Constitution

I don't remember Bush/Cheney had insisted the Constitution was a living document, although their attempts to subvert it are pretty fresh in my memory.

Though their Administration explains why, if we take up Mallard's metaphor, the Constitution is currently plugged into life support.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Those damned Herbivores

What's Mallard raving about today?

Carnivores, Herbivores, President Obama

Of all the things that confuse me about Mallard Fillmore, one of the biggest is why he does not seem to deal with time the same way everyone else in the world does, choosing to start and stop his "15 Years of Mallard!" series on a Thursday, rather than at the end of the week.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

That damned Center

What's Mallard raving about today?


Mallard Fillmore thinks the Republican Party's woes are because they are too centrist.

No, I'm serious. That's what he thinks.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

That damned President

What's Mallard raving about today?

Former President Clinton.

Mallard is celebrating 15 years of garbage by peddling a meme that failed to take hold 15 months ago.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

That damned Patootie

What's Mallard raving about today?

Joe Biden

That's supposed to be Joe Biden, is it?

I have to confess, however, that I am rather amazed at the insecurity manifesting itself as bravado on display here. Two weeks of self-congratulation for penning a 4th rate screed with bad drawings? It boggles the imagination, really.

Monday, June 08, 2009

That damned Invitation

What's Mallard raving about today?

Nancy Pelosi, Waterboarding.

The first time Mallard mentions US torture policies created and executed by the Bush Administration and he's complaining about Nancy Pelosi.

Can you say partisan hack?

Saturday, June 06, 2009

That damned Launch

What's Mallard raving about today?

Himself, D-Day.

I would have thought you couldn't get any more self-congratulatory than a week of reminders, but to compare your endeavor to D-Day, even self-deprecatingly?

Honestly...much hubris?

Friday, June 05, 2009

That damned Victory

What's Mallard raving about today?

Amphibious Americans, The Media.

Ain't it the truth...we've been paying the price ever since.

Also worth mentioning that this is deeply ironic considering that Mallard owes his existence to the fact that he's an affirmative action counterweight to Doonesbury.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

That damned Chin Implant

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mallard Fillmore, Chin Implants.

Are we in for a whole week of celebrations filled with unintentional double entendre regarding Mallard's penis chin fetish?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

That damned Congrats

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama

Once again Mallard's use of the English language (I am forced to use the phrase "English language" in its loosest possible sense in order to account for Mallard Fillmore) makes it hard to discern what the hell is going on in his fevered imagination.

But I choose to believe that "it seems like longer" is a reference to the ever-increasing length of President Obama's penis chin.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

That damned Past

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Past, Bill Clinton, The Media

Just yesterday?

Seriously, are you suggesting those 8 years of Bush & Cheney just flew by? Because it sure did not feel that way to me.

Monday, June 01, 2009

That damned Anniversary

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mary Worth, Mallard Fillmore.

So, you know how, when certain comics reach certain milestones, other comics will pay tribute by mentioning them?

Well, Mallard Fillmore has to pay tribute to himself, knowing deep in his heart of hearts that no one else will mark the anniversary.

That said, I wish he'd gone after Margo McGee instead, since I am sure Margo would have used the incident as an excuse to feast on Duck L'Orange tonight.

As it is, Mary Worth will probably try to meddle Mallard into being a kinder and gentler duck. Unless we get lucky and Mary Worth decides to treat Mallard as the next Aldo Kelrast.