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Thursday, September 30, 2010

That damned Memo

What's Mallard raving about today?

Asians, Racism.

Asians scored higher (on average) on the SAT than white student. Ergo, there is no racism in America.

Given this amazing bit of logic, anyone care to guess Mallard's score on the SAT?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

That damned Liberal

What's Mallard raving about today?


Here's the difference, Mallard:

  • Teabaggers and Republicans have, by their actions, earned those sobriquets.
  • Democrats, by their actions, have absolutely no claim to being Liberal.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

That damned Word

What's Mallard raving about today?


Just days after railing against labeling of Teabaggers with derogatory terms, Mallard earnestly wonders why Liberals won't label themselves with a term that Conservatives have studiously vilified for the past 20 years. A term which the Founding Fathers proudly wore as a badge of honor, I might add.

Monday, September 27, 2010

That damned Identification

What's Mallard raving about today?

Republicans, Democrats, Teabaggers.

GOP comments about O'Donnell and Paladino suggest Republicans are not so happy with the band of extremist astroturfers they were hoping to exploit. Unlike the Religious Right, which they abused for years and who remain pliant sheep, the Teabaggers don't seem to know their place.

But, if Mallard thinks being to the right of the GOP makes the Teabaggers popular, I would ask him to explain the polling for his Teabagger candidates in Delaware and New York.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

That damned Quote

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thomas Jefferson.

According to the Texas Board of Education, this "Thomas Jefferson" of whom you speak does not exist. Precisely because Right Wing Zealots view him as a long-haired radical.

But while we're on the subject, let's look at another quote from Thomas Jefferson:
Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

That damned Stuff

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?

The New York Times.

Mallard Fillmore is accusing the New York Times of making stuff up?


Pot, meet kettle.

Friday, September 24, 2010

That damned News

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?


Mallard calls out Fox Propaganda Network for their extreme bias.

Bravo, Mallard!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

That damned Poll

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Mallard Fillmore never said a word when President Bush's approval rating dove into the 20's and stayed there, so he has no standing to comment while President Obama's approval ratings are in the mid-40's.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Those damned Cards

What's Mallard raving about today?

Racism, Democrats.

Mallard proves, once again, that quality and quantity are unrelated.

This, BTW, is seriously schizoid from a duck who was just recently complaining about accusations of racism against the Teabaggers.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

That damned Backlash

What's Mallard raving about today?

Stonings, Lashings, Beheadings.

Mallard Fillmore attempts to make the case for equivalence between revulsion over stoning and lack of revulsion over automatically assuming all Muslims are terrorists.

Yup, sounds about right for someone of Mallard's towering intellect.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Those damned Groups

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Bowlers, Cyclists, Adoptive parents.

The reason we criticize Glenn Beck's brain-washed horde is because they are so brain dead and inflammatory as to insinuate that something like adopting Black babies should be anything but applauded for what it is.

These brain-washed hordes suffer from such deep-seated racism, it is invisible to them and they are incapable of seeing the clear racist overtones in making such a statement.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Those damned Men

What's Mallard raving about today?


Unlike the world Mallard inhabits, in the real world, the more you actually look at the Tea Party, the more frightening they get.

You might have thought that was not actually possible. But then folks like O'Donnell, Angle, and Paladino get selected by the Tea Party and they are more disturbingly extremist it gets.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Those damned Jobs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jobs, Elections.

Mallard Fillmore and the Republican Party...

Change election day to a weekend? Cool!

Extend benefits to the unemployed? Boo!

Priorities, people!

Friday, September 17, 2010

That damned Presidency

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Hillary Clinton.

Having failed at the "rivalry with Hillary will cost Obama the 2008 election," Mallard comes to the conclusion that "rivalry with Hillary will cost Obama the 2012 election" is a winner.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

That damned Tax

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, President Obama.

For the first time, Mallard's asterisk was helpful.

If you go to the Tax Policy Center, you will find an article discussing this statistic and explaining, for lackwits such as Mallard, that "rarely has a bit of data been so misunderstood, or so misused."

Mallard, follow your own asterisk, you might learn something...ah, who am I kidding?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

That damned Candidate

What's Mallard raving about today?


Democrats declare conservative principles because they are spineless.

Republicans declare their conservative principles and then trash the Constitution, spend link drunken sailors, and inject the Government into as many corners of your life as they can think of.

A pox on both their houses, to be sure.

But I'll take the Democratic pox any day.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

That damned Rally

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Glenn Beck.

Credible moron Mallard Fillmore has only one explanation for why the Media won't simply repeat it when they are told very earnestly that 10.5 trillion people showed up at Glenn Becks rally, it's true I counted them myself!

Of course, this is proof the media are biased.

I would suggest they are biased against offensive idiots, however then I have no explanation for why they gave airtime to Pastor Moustache, or (really) any of the current Republican leaders.

Monday, September 13, 2010

That damned Validation

What's Mallard raving about today?

Glenn Beck, Howard Dean.

Mallard Fillmore just confirmed that Glenn Beck is crazy.

Not that it needed confirmation that the Father Coughlin of 2010 is crazy. I'm just surprised that Mallard Fillmore is the one doing it.

I admit it's also possible that Mallard is so mentally-challenged he can't follow the logic of his own insane rantings.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

That damned Patootie

What's Mallard raving about today?


I got a couple more for you, Rush...

If the US has dropped to 23rd in Education and this fact bothers someone, how low must theirIQ be to also reflexively oppose any increase in spending for Education just because that spending is done by the gummint?

If the US being 23rd in Education is disturbing to someone, how large a hypocrite must that same person be to defend the status quo when US healthcare ranks 37th in the world?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

Meta-Post - Ads

Hey, as some of you may recall, I work in online/mobile advertising, so I like to try things out on this blog from time to time, just to learn stuff. I'm checking out the Project Wonderful service, to see what kind of things they are up to.

Hope the ads aren't too much of a bother.

That damned Tragedy

What's Mallard raving about today?

September 11, Universities.

Typical Mallard Fillmore nonsense.

The view that the Right Wing's pants-wetting capitulation to the terrorists has led to an age of anger and xenophobia that is not in keeping with American values does not mean that 9-11 itself was not a tragedy.

It just means that Mallard is an anger-filled cheese-eating surrender monkey.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

That damned Letter

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mid-term elections, President Obama.

Whereas everyone in the Party of Personal responsibility knows, what happens when you are in charge is someone else's fault, entirely.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

That damned expression

What's Mallard raving about today?

Speaker Pelosi.

Odd accusation for a duck who has only 2 expressions: blank stare and smug asshole.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

That damned Investigation

What's Mallard raving about today?

Speaker Pelosi, Ground Zero Mosque.

Perhaps she suspended it after Jon Stewart demonstrated that the same man funding the nontroversy (a part owner of Fox) is also a funder of the Muslim Community center.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Parent Company Trap
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

Monday, September 06, 2010

That damned coverage

What's Mallard raving about today?

Speaker Pelosi, The Media.

The Mainstream Media are flogging the Ground Zero Mosque story using the framing the Right Wing wants, despite the fact that there is nothing but dishonesty behind every word.

But that's not enough for Mallard Fillmore...

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Those damned Fish

What's Mallard raving about today?

BP's Oil Disaster, Fish.

...Luckily for us, Mariner Energy's platform blew up just recently, so we might get another break!

For the record, this is one of those few times when reading Mallard Fillmore that I may not have found it exactly funny, but I didn't want to gouge my eyes out either.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

That damned Season

What's Mallard raving about today?


Yep, those athletes can get into some serious trouble...

Of course, most of them are probably not so stupid as to not realize that the NFL season is not "really underway." In fact, it has not even started yet.

For Christ's sake, Mallard. Are you preternaturally incapable of getting even the simplest facts right?

Friday, September 03, 2010

That damned Joke

What's Mallard raving about today?


Of course, the only possible joke in 4 years of reading Mallard Fillmore is not shared with the reader.

And, instead of admitting where he's kept his head for the past 4 years, Mallard chooses to talk about something else that is up his ass.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

That damned Vacation

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

BP Filled the Gulf of Mexico with oil, but it's President Obama taking a vacation which is going to raise oil prices.

Seriously, what nontroversy is this all about?

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

That damned Exhaustion

What's Mallard raving about today?

Robert Gibbs.

Today in Mallard Fillmore: Press spokesperson gives evasive answers.

Stop the fucking presses.

On the other hand, is anyone surprised to find that Mallard gets exhausted watching TV.