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Friday, July 31, 2009

That damned traitor

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson, Racism.

Wow, a double Straw Man. I'm pretty sure that's a Mallard first.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

That damned Mozart

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mozart, Michael Jackson.

This Straw Series has officially reached the completely unhinged state. Mallard's Michael Jackson fever is fueled not by an actual event but by the mere appearance of a prominent Black Man in the news.

On the plus side, I am pretty sure we're looking at a string contender for the 2009 Golden Ellipse for Most Interminable Series or Running Theme.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

That damned Larry

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson.

Oh, geez, I'm so sorry.

Larry agrees with Mallard, so I guess...well, frankly I don't know what that proves.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

That damned expansion

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson, Racism.

Anyone else notice that Mallard is attempting to gild the lily more and more, adding phrases like "wisely added" and "perpetually expanding" to this standard construct?

Unfortunately for Mallard, it has the opposite effect from what he wants, making him seem more unreasonably strident and petty rather than making his point stronger.

Monday, July 27, 2009

That damned List

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson, Racism.

A Black entertainer dies, Mallard seizes the opportunity to decry charges of racism which are tossed around too loosely.

Meanwhile...Mallard tosses around charges of racism.

I believe Republicans greatest achievement is the ability to withstand their own cognitive dissonance.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

That damned Health Plan

What's Mallard raving about today?

Health Care, Government.

Maybe I've been at this too long. But I have no idea what the hell Mallard is talking about anymore. I mean, I know he's complaining about plans for a Public Insurance Option. But, what relevance does "buy one get one free" have for the Health Care debate?

Or is this just one of the most sophomoric metaphors ever?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Those damned brands

What's Mallard raving about today?


It's July. A back to school comic in July makes as much sense as the content of this comic.

Friday, July 24, 2009

That damned spending

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, Spending.

Paid cash for their houses, did they?

Everyone racks up debt, Mallard. There is good debt and bad debt, of course. But I wouldn't expect someone who can't even comprehend this simple fact to understand that.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

That damned panel

What's Mallard raving about today?

Celebrities, Global Warming, President Bush.

"I'm Mallard Fillmore, and I just wanted to prove that there was no depth to which I would not sink."

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

That damned memo

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Vice President Biden.

And, far better than the 8 years of President Bush & Vice President Cheney, by far.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Those damned Advisors

What's Mallard raving about today?

Foreign Policy, Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortego, Fidel Castro.

Only in Mallard's fevered, Fox-fueled, imagination.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

That damned GPS

What's Mallard raving about today?

Auto Makers, Government.

Mallard is very vocally opposed to the US Government takeover of the Auto Makers.

He's a lot less vocal about our takeover of financial institutions.


Saturday, July 18, 2009

That damned TV

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, President Obama

I have no idea, unlike Mallard, who Jon and Kate are.

But I want to remind you that Mallard thinks Michael Jackson fans have no life.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Those damned Cows

What's Mallard raving about today?

Cows, Climate Change.

Michael Jackson fans have no lives, but Mallard is the one titillated by the thought of cows belching.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Those damned lives

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson Fans

Michael Jackson, in his career, changed Music, Dance, and Marketing forever.

And yet a duck, who has done nothing for over a decade but repeat what Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck tell him during his 80+ hours per week sitting inertly and watching Fox, is criticizing his fans for mourning his passing.

That said, I look forward to finding out later this week how the fans of Michael Jackson are the real racists in American society.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

That damned Culture

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pop Culture, Michael Jackson

A duck sitting inertly in his armchair, a brown box of generic snacks beside him, staring with glazed eyes at the TV is criticizing American society and pop culture.

With no hint of irony.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

That damned Ideal

What's Mallard raving about today?

Colorblind Society.

Aside from one statement, taken largely out of context and hardly even controversial when considered in light of statements from past Supreme Court Nominees, Mallard has not presented one shred of evidence to suggest that Sonia Sotomayor is not qualified nor the best person available.

His entire argument against her is, quite literally: She's a Latina, therefore she must not be a qualified candidate.

It's really hard to understand why Republicans have a 5% favorable rating among Latinos.

Monday, July 13, 2009

That damned study

What's Mallard raving about today?

Kevin, America.

This just in from Mallard Fillmore: Education does not have the power to change race and gender.

Meanwhile, Republicans continue to demonstrate that their party has no interest in receiving another Latino vote, ever.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Those damned options

What's Mallard raving about today?


Always interesting when fiercely anti-education Mallard Fillmore brings his proud-to-be-ignorant mind to bear on Education issues.

Today's episode is particularly fascinating insofar as:
  • "c" is not really borne out by reality (but let's not let that get in the way of our talking points)
  • "Spending More on Education" is not among the available options.
You also know your in for an intellectually lazy experience when "Mr. {Something I Don't Like}" makes an appearance.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

That damned Silence

What's Mallard raving about today?

Senator Boxer

In Mallard world, Senator Boxer requesting the correct form of address warrants two days of bleating.

In the real world, this was such a non-event that no one even heard about it.

The slide continues...

Friday, July 10, 2009

Those damned things

What's Mallard raving about today?

Senator Boxer, name-calling.

The Republican slide into complete irrelevance due to their insatiable focus on petty incidents and infantile name-calling continues apace.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

That damned Miss Viable

What's Mallard raving about today?

Progressives, Torture, Abortion.

Shorter Mallard Fillmore: Progressives are in favor of terminating as many completely viable late-term fetuses as possible.

What surprises me most is how many people willingly swallow this line of obvious horse crap, designed to turn political opponents into sub-human monsters.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

That damned Genuflection

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox Network.

Of course Fox are not genuflecting. Former President Bush is not around.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

That damned Test

Whats' Mallard raving about today?

Kim Jong-Il, President Obama, Fox Network.

Having spent the past 8 years ingesting a steady diet of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, Mallard has, quite literally, forgotten that criticism of the President occurs.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Those Delusions of Grandeur

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Blogs, Twitter, Fox, Talk Radio.

Wow. Simply breathtaking.

Breathtaking in its stupidity in comparing citizen-driven journalism to talking points-driven propaganda outlets.

Or breathtaking in its delusion of grandeur in comparing Mallard Fillmore's importance to Fox and Rush Limbaugh.

Either way...breathtaking.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Independence Day!

I say this knowing the risk that a specific small-minded waterfowl will create a straw man insinuating that my patriotism is not sincere, unlike his own.

Friday, July 03, 2009

That damned Pride

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Michele Obama.

Right Wing Talking Point since the campaign: The Obama's hate America.

How's that working out for you so far?

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Those damned Journalists

What's Mallard raving about today?


Some 400 newspapers are running a "comic" today which would not be significantly altered if you just scrawled the words "Journalism sucks!" in crayon on the page.

But it's OK because a bitter waterfowl must hold fast to the belief that he is the spokesduck for the "average American" despite the fact that his views are currently shared by approximately 20% of the population.

That could all change quickly, however, if only the wishes of the folks at Fox would be granted.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

That damned Involvement

What's Mallard raving about today?

Big Government, The Economy.

Mallard demonstrates once again his sophomoric command of issues and his lack of intellectual nuance.

In Mallard's world you start from a existing premise (Government is bad) and any isolated and specific instance which illustrates that point, proves the point.

But, does Mallard really think the Government can be uninvolved in the economy? Should we allow the Military (and all of its spending, including salaries for soldiers) to be subject to the free market? How about the Fire and Police Departments?

At any rate, it made me wonder how long before we see Mallard take on Health Care reform, using the schizoid Republican talking points: Public health care would be a bloated inefficient behemoth...and the private insurance companies just can't compete with that.