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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Independence Day!

I say this knowing the risk that a specific small-minded waterfowl will create a straw man insinuating that my patriotism is not sincere, unlike his own.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did I miss the memo about The War On Independence Day? Oh well, I'm sure it's just another conspiracy of the MSM and FOLTAs (Fans Of Late-Term Abortion)...

Happy Independence Day, duck. Were we alive during the birth of our nation, you'd be calling George Washington a terrorist.

12xuser said...

Yes, it's the Fourth of July, the day when we Americans can put aside our political differences, turn East and say "Fuck you, England!"

I'm hoping that Tinsley spends the next week extolling the virtues of those courageous governors who showed true leadership by refusing the evil Obama stimulus money, Mark Sanford and Sarah Palin.

By the way, Mallard, I hear the best view of the fireworks displays are from directly overhead, about five hundred feet up.

CW in LA said...

Leave it to our Bruce to figure out how the say "Happy Independence Day" in the most dickish possible manner. Try not to drive drunk, ya loser.

Jazzbumpa said...

Ducky finds a backhanded way to restate the Libruls HATE America meme.

Way to go you mean-spirited, small-minded, jingoistic, knuckle-dragging fuckhead.

I'm going to enjoy the day. 'Cause, ya see, I'm a Librul AND a Patriot. And I'll wish that Tinkley does, too. Then, if he wakes up sober tomorrow, he might not be such a fucking ass hole.

MartyRotten said...

Alternate caption for today's strip."Happy 4th of July. I just want to remind you that all of us Patriotic Conservatives are an extremely oppressed minority that those mean old liberals keep picking on! Waaaaaahhhh!!! It's not fair! It's not fair! Make those liberals stop picking on us poor widdle conservatives!!!"

ajm said...

Because July 4th is all about Bruce Tinsley's persecution complex. Says so in the Federalist Papers.

Iron Dragon said...

The really strange part in this is that my patriotism would likely have him saying that I hate this country. To me, patriotism is questioning those in power and protesting your government when you feel it's doing something wrong. That your nation is imperfect, and that you need to try to stop it from doing something awful.

A basic example, I voted for Obama and am currently growing frustrated with him. He seems unwilling to revoke 'don't ask don't tell' to allow people who are openly gay to serve. He has spoken directly against gay marriage and now seems to want to support the bigoted 'defense of marriage' act. He's also extending warrantless wiretapping, in essense I feel betrayed and have continued to protest the actions. Democrat or Republican, Liberal or Conservative, if you do something I think is wrong, I intend to protest and fight it. THAT is my patriotism.

Jazzbumpa said...

Iron Dragon -

Right on, Brother!

Anonymous said...

Mallard: Happy Independence Day to you and also to your creator. This may be the last year to celebrate Independence Day.

Next year it will be called "Dependence Day" if BHO continues with his plan for our country.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 10:30 AM

...So, hysterical overreaction much?

Don't worry, just stock up on plastic sheets and duct tape and mail all your money to Halliburton, and everything will be fine. Stay the course!

Frank Stone said...

And where were Brucie and his fellow Poor Little Victims during the eight years Bushbaby and his puppeteers were stealing from the poor to give to the rich, running the economy into the ground, enabling war profiteering, using the Constitution for toilet paper, and generally undermining the very principles for which those revered Founders risked their lives, and which we celebrate on July 4th?

Oh, right -- they were hurling epithets like "un-American", "blame America first", "treason", and "traitor" against anyone who dared utter so much as an unkind word about their golden calf.

Ducky is Right! said...

Well, at the risk of some people calling me a soft, effete, elitist, America-hating, terrorist-coddling, Socialist traitor; go suck a box of wine, Ducky. Then why not hop in the car for a nice fourth of July drive around town! I'm sure those fat, stupid, goddamn drunk-hating pigs would love to spend their holiday with you instead of their friends and family!

Oh-ho! "Dependence Day"! How witty! I see what you did there! See, by removing the prefix 'in', you alluded that America will no longer be free!
It is unclear exactly what America will suddenly become dependent on, other then Chinese money and foreign oil (A+ job, Bushie!), nor is it particularly explained what, in exacting terms, Obama is doing to ruin America, but never let facts or examples get in the way of a good feinting couch hysteria!

Kaitlyn said...

Happy Fourth everybody!

I'm celebrating by watching at least one foreign film.

If that ain't American, I don't know what is!

fuckreagan said...

I can imagine Tinsley
throughout American history.

-Columbus is a lying atheist. God said the Earth was flat and held on a pedestal.

-Cortes has proved that all Indians perform human sacrifices and line their streets with bones.

-Dutchmen scalp the Indians yet we coddle them and give them nice homes.

-Galilleo is a liar who needs to read the Bible and accept that God holds everything.

-Shakespeare is sympathetic to hymies and niggers. Schlechies do not have eyes--they have portals to Hell.

-Newton is worse than Galilleo. Thermodynamics is a fancy term for denying the fact that God pushes together everything.

-George can tax us as much as he wants--we are poor and undeserving of benefits. Stop pouring tea in the river before he stops the Opium shipments.

-Amendment II is the only good one. All the others hebp those worthless peasants be stupid.

-Natural Selection is an affront to God and Darwin will burn in Hell.

-Pasteur is an idiot whose lie of immunization is another part of the myth of Evolution. [Pasteur discovered immunization and he died twenty years before Jonas Salk was born.]

-Edison did not steal all of his ideas. Nicholae Tesla is a liar--no Communist has ever created anything.

-We need to join World War I and blow up all of the other countries.

-I love the roaring twenties because everything is perfect and nothing will go wrong.

-Roosevelt is a Communist whose ideas of workers rights and social programs will destroy us. We cannot let a minor harmless
economic correction distort our judgements.

-We need to bomb all of Japan--any live nips are potential terrorists.

-Why are we leaving korea? We should stay and fight a nuclear war with the Communists.

-Activists and Quantum Physicists are wrong and they should readthe greatest philosophical author--Ayn Rand.

-I am glad that hippie Martin Luther Queen died and made the world safer for the master race.

-Henry kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prie and proved that we should bomb Asia into Hell.

-Immigrants are animals that want to murder and eat us [http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080527&name=Mallard_Fillmore.]

rewinn said...

Hey Tinkley - have the courage to tell us who those "Certain People" are.

Are you talking about the majority of Americans who rejected your politics last November?

Michael said...

Happy Independence Day everyone!

Mallard, no one would have assumed any of those things had you just said it. But since you also tried to claim patriotism as the private domain of conservatives, that makes you look like a knuckle-dragger. If ducks had knuckles.

Iron Dragon has come out of nowhere to be my favorite commenter as of late. Keep it up!

rewinn said...

Iron Dragon et al. - You know why Obama has been such a disappointment on wiretapping, DADT etc?

He just wished us all an happy independence day ... and therefore (per Tinkley) he must be called a "jingoistic right-wing zealot"!

GeoX said...

Ho there, Kaitlyn. Haven't seen you around for ages.

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with this, but I just heard Sarah Palin has resigned from being the governor of Alaska! I look forward to 6 to 8 months from now when Tinsley mentions this.

Anonymous said...

That'll be good for her resume: "Vote for me! I bailed on my last office before the term was up! Who knows what the hell I'll do as President?"

Everyone's wondering WHY she's resigning (because she couldn't be bothered to state why, herself, in a presser that could've used a few extra teleprompters), and it's boiled down to two likely causes:

1. Running for another office, now free(er) to shoot off her mouth at will, and cash in on her notoriety (Ka-ching, you betcha!);

2. Contractor scandal (or something worse) is about to blow up big time.

Say, does Tinsley still hold up Michael Steele as "That Negro I Like (Proving I'm Not Racist)?" Or did that all burn down when Steele publicly supported a woman's right to choose, making him another "fan of late-term abortion?" 'Cause right now, the GOP's so off-the-rails they're actually crawling back to Newt Who Resigned for leadership. After that, who? Dan Quayle?

CW in LA said...

So what happened today (July 5)? Did Tinshley just not get around to submitting a strip?

rewinn said...

Today's Mallard Fillmore is about wasting time on the internet to whine about wasting time on the internet.

It's just too stupid; even DavyK has his limits.

fuckreagan said...

I can understand why Tinsley is so busy. He must spend twenty hours a day copying and pasting Republican lies and drawing. No one is more active than a generic cartoonist.

Rootbeer said...

YOU'RE TOO FUCKING LINEAR, MALLARD FILLMORE.

STOP BEING SO LINEAR