Memorial Day

In memory, I'm taking the day off from ragging on Mallard.

That damned Hope

What's Mallard raving about today?

Weather, Hope, Change, CBS, NBC.

I wonder what it feels like to wake up in the morning with the knowledge that your job is to write things like "with a refreshing mix of hope and change" and expect that your audience response will be "Effing right. I effing hate hope and change."

That damned irrational fear

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Weather Channel, Golf Balls, Tax Cuts, Irrational Fear.

It took several tries for me to parse today's Mallard, in part because I had a hard time believing I was actually seeing what I was seeing.

But I am forced to conclude that Mallard actually said that he has equal distaste for his Straw Liberal's position on tax cuts and on "irrational fear of those who are different"...more commonly known as racism.

In other words, Mallard is all for racism and anyone without the stomach to be the same is a Liberal namby-pamby.

That damned weather

What's Mallard raving about today?

Weather, NBC, CBS.

NBC or CBS are going to buy the Weather Channel? And this will give them the power to control the weather?

That damned Straw Man

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barack Obama, Government Jobs.

It must be so much easier coming up with material when you are not required to have any factual basis. You'd also think it would be possible to be funny under that set of circumstances, but apparently not.

That damned Sweeps

What's Mallard raving about today?

TV, Swearing.

For a duck whose life seems to revolve around TV, Mallard sure is sanctimonious about it. But he has a point...prior to the advent of Television, children never learned to swear.

Those damned Mooners

What's Mallard raving about today?

Colleges, Professors.

Best Freudian slip of the day: "When I first stepped up to this podium, I was a bit unprepared."

Everything beyond that first panel isn't worth reading, so don't bother.

That damned change

What's Mallard raving about today?

Elections, Change.

Pretty damned funny, if you ask me...and since you're here, I suppose in some twisted way, you are asking me.

That said, while one can certainly understand the reaction against change as empty rhetoric, leave it to Mallard to be against change during the first election in my lifetime where you have the intersection of a political/social/economic situation in which change is desperately called for and candidates who dramatically represent change...being from the out-of-power Party, the possibility of the first female/minority President, and one of whom also represents the possibility of a switch in terms of the generation with its hand on the switch.

In other words, even if he were consistently funny, you can still count on the fact that Mallard is always wrong.

Those damned good old days

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Jeremiah Wright.

And yet, this will not prevent Mallard from decrying the fact that the Media are in love with Obama.

Because it's not important that anything you say make sense as long as it is framed as a petty complaint.