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Sunday, December 01, 2013

Week of December 1, 2013

What's Mallard raving about this Week?

Read and Comment!

53 comments:

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Filling a page with words must be so much easier than drawing anything.

Frank Stone said...

Re Monday: Ah, I see Mallard/Bruce is warming up his Poor Little Victim act on behalf of Christendom -- a.k.a. The Most Consistently Abused and Persecuted Minority in the History of Ever®.

Can't wait for Mallard's alcohol poisoning-induced hallucination -- er, Special Investigative Report on how it's now officially a crime punishable by death for retail employees to say "Merry Christmas".

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

The bilious Id of the American unconscious.

Dex Banner said...

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CW in LA said...

What, nothing about the space around Mallard's festering cloaca? Good day, Spammy McSpam.

Anyway, Brews isn't being at all hypocritical waiting until now to break out his Santa/government spy joke. It's just that, until Jan. 20 '09, such a joke meant you hated the troops and wanted the terrorists to win. Now it's Truth to Power.

Speaking of Truth to Power, way to stick it to Big Older Women With Ear Wax Build-Up yesterday, Tinshy.

CW in LA said...

Sorry I haven't been chiming in more. It's just that lately Mallard has been so dumb and half-assed, it hardly even seems worth the effort to point out how dumb and half-assed it is.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

It's like you want to wait until the cartoon is at least 60% assed before taking the trouble.

What have we had this week? Joyless, heavy-lidded kids muttering at Santa. Dead-eyed creepy Santa saying something to a kid. A world of unenthusiastic drones trudging through the awful days until a neighbor finds Tinsley, alone in the house, slumped over the bean bag in front of the still blaring television after the mailman wondered why nobody was taking the bills in.

In short, it's a cry for help. Maybe one of the commenters at the syndicate page is the cartoonist himself, sending out coded messages in all-caps words in his posts.

(No, not this one: "TAX TAX MUSLIN PAYER TAX TAX." And this one's nothing but caps. So maybe not.)

CW in LA said...

Wooo - Commander Truth-To-Power is letting Big Co-exist Bumper Stucker have it again.

Few things leave Mallard cloaca-hurt like the idea of coexisting with Mooslims. I assume that's because Islam requires its adherents to abstain from alcohol.

Bill the Splut said...

Tuesday:

Hey, Bruce, when your "facts" are being shot down by Cracked...maybe you should be doing more than 90 hours of research a day. Maybe add a minute of checking Snopes, you racist.

Frank Stone said...

Re Tuesday: What, no "*Fox News"? Golly, I'd better Google "knockout game" so I can find out what the sinister darkies are up to (since that was the implication)...

Oh. Well. How about that? Turns out it's little more than an urban myth.

See, Mallard, this is the biggest danger of inviting your readers to do your research for you: In looking up information on whatever you're telling them to be outraged about, they're likely to learn that it's just a big, steaming load.

But hey, whatever lets you dust off "Whites are the REAL victims of racism", I guess...

FuryOfFirestorm said...

But Frank, since the Knockout Game is being talked about conservative media, then it must be true! They would never lie to us!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Good lord. There's a new twit jumping at everyone's ankles at the MF comments page. Can't spell, can't punctuate, and he appends his name and the header of the reminder email that tells him somebody's responded to his comment to everything he writes!

And when this is pointed out to him, he thinks he's really doing something right, or the "libs" wouldn't be putting him down.

It's pretty hard not to type LOL over and over and over and over. Harder than I ever would have thought.

.

.

I have totally forgotten what Mallard was about today.

Toots McGee said...

It's all about the Jammies, man.

Here come de man wid de Jammies.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

It's rather telling that Tinsley equates mentioning other holidays with "kicking Christmas out." It's just a zero-sum game to the Christianists, and any bit of air another religion gets must have been stolen right out of their lungs.

It'll be interesting to see how they handle being an actual minority that doesn't get its ass kissed every day of every week.

Anonymous said...

Bill the Splut and Frank Stone...actually believe 'Cracked' and the left leaning 'Snopes'.

Protect the darkies at all cost. Is this because the person who now resides in the White House is half black? Or is this simply liberal thinking?

I know of two people who have been killed by yes...blacks in this so called 'Knockout Game'. One white man in a city near me was attacked by 4 blacks age 13-14 and was beaten to a pulp. He died three weeks after the attack. The blacks said they did it because they were 'bored'.

CW in LA said...

I suspect that for Anonyracist, anything short of Mein Kampf is "left-leaning".

As for the other claims, without documentation we'll have to assume it's a great big steaming pile of Klan shit.

CW in LA said...

As for Mallard, he seems to be in some sort of randroid-fundie zone: Fun stuff people enjoy this time of year is bad because it isn't Jebus. But decrying the attendant commercialism is full-on blasphemy.

Anonymous said...

Teen arrested for beating, raping elderly Nun
behind church. Yep...he is black!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Mallard is in full-whine mode about the poor, put-upon Christians whose holiday must occasionally be mentioned along with holidays of those FAKE religions whose adherents will roast in Hell forever.

It's the joyous season. You'd think somebody, somewhere in the strip would crack a smile or a twinkle once in a while.

CW in LA said...

Clearly Anonyklansman is very jolly when he finds news anywhere in this country of an African-American doing something bad.

I think I know what sort of yahoo and google alerts he has set up.

President Obama is a better person than you are, Anonyracist. That's why he's the president and you're an anonymous, cowardly loser on the internet. I'm sure on some level you know that, and that's why you're so odious. I just want you to know everyone else knows that, too.

Anonymous said...

CW in LA...Barack Obama is the worst president in American history. The color of his skin has nothing to do with it.

And he is not a better person than I. Look what he has done and will continue do to so many people in our country with Obamacare. I have done nothing to hurt anyone.

You really are a very ignorant person. End of story!

CW in LA said...

Oh, sure, Anonydavidduke, your opinion of the president has nothing to do with the color of his skin. That's why you keep bringing it up.

I may be ignorant, anonypartheidapologist, but you are stupid and hateful

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

I am looking, and I see no evidence of claims that Obama is even as bad as Bush Senior, let alone in the same league of awfulness as G.W. Bush.

Oh, wait. He's a Democrat and he got re-elected. Well, that can only mean evil on the level of Sauron double-crossing Darkseid.

Overwrought alarmism doesn't work here. There are places where screaming "WOLF!!" day in and day out are considered the height of sophistication, though. Good luck finding them.

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Toots McGee said...

College football kvetching! The reason for the season.

Hope all is well daveyk.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

DaveyK seems to be a commenter over at the Comics Curmudgeon these days. Traffic there got so heavy I finally had to quit going there just to have time in my day.

CW in LA said...

That's funny. I'm here because Josh F. who runs the Comics Curmudgeon forbade all mention of Drunky Duck there, because it caused people not to play well with others. Because Doonesbury and the Librul media, you understand.

Isn't the kid whining to Santa today Mallard's enamorata L'il Rush?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

He looks like him all right, but that could just be the sign of limited ability.

The guys at the Mallard comments board (Comics Kingdom) seem to believe that the Saudis are already stoning people for wearing bacon scent. Yes, they're just that gullible.

Frank Stone said...

Like Mallard/Bruce, I'm of the opinion that bacon-scented deodorant is not something that should exist in a rational universe.

Unlike Mallard/Bruce, I don't feel the need to blather on and on about it as though it were something of actual consequence.

CW in LA said...

Okay, has anyone ever actually know someone to wear a bacon-scented cologne? It sounds like a novelty item to me.

But way to stick it to Big Bacon Scent, Captain Truth-to-Power.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Stick it to 'em! They're beggin' for it!

Begginbegginbegginbeggin!

THEY
LOVE
BEGGIN'!

CW in LA said...

I just realized that three weeks from now Mallard will be emitting a piteous wailing on behalf of that duck dynasty guy, never mind that his business is devoted to making it easier to kill ducks.

And never mind that if a Mooslim who looked exactly like that guy wanted to board a plane, Brews would demand that he be shot on sight.

Anonymous said...

CW in LA...where do you come up with this crap that you post?

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

p.s. It looks to me as if DaveyK has decided to walk away from his so-called blog/hate fest as many other 'regulars' have.

Bill the Splut said...

Witty as always, Bruce! Err, "Anonymous." Glad to see you still obsess over this site.

CW in LA said...

Hey, Anonyloser, you're back? Well, let me just remind you that President Obama is admired, even loved, by millions upon millions. You, on the other hand, if you dared step out from behind your cloak of cowardly anonymity, would be universally regarded with a mixture of pity and loathing.

Again, I'm sure you realize this. But it's important for you to be aware that everyone else realizes it, too.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

The lightning rod of the right is clinging to static electricity mode again.

CW in LA said...

Wooo - Truth To Power Duck takes on Big Christmas Sweater!

What if someone likes Christmas sweaters? A break, not a lecture, blah blah blah?

Frank Stone said...

And MALLARD said, Woe be unto you who wear Christmas sweaters. For Christmas sweaters are an abomination in the eyes of MALLARD, being a form of Christmas celebration of which MALLARD doth not approve. And whosoever weareth a Christmas sweater shall be cursed by MALLARD, even unto the seventh generation.

Randy Winn said...

What a sad, cheerless world today's "conservatives" inhabit - where the harmless Christmas sweater is a threat to their happiness.

Bill the Splut said...

Mallard spends Xmas talking about God's bowel movements and Mallard's impotence. MERRY SATURNALIA, ONE AND ALL!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

It's rough out there when your heart and soul are invested in things getting worse to prove your point. Can't be happy; have to be miserable and hope everyone else will be as well.

Merry Holiday!

CW in LA said...

The difference between Ted Cruz and Raul Castro?

One's a fanatical foreigner obsessively plotting and agitating to destroy our way of life, and the other's president of Cuba.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

It's a Christmas miracle! The GOP has learned to tell the difference between two non-white individuals.

Frank Stone said...

Re Dec. 27: Apathy. Right. The national website was overwhelmed to the point of persistent dysfunction by all that apathy.

Well, at least Bruce drew an ever-so-slightly-different-looking pic of Mallard instead of just copy-pasting yesterday's. Small favors, etc.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

It's like a textbook in how to avoid laborious drawing. White space! Everybody loves white space! Especially colorists.

CW in LA said...

Funny how Brews insinuates the prez is a liar while repeating one of the right wing propaganda mill's most notorious and persistent, you know, lies.

Hey Tins, it doesn't matter how much you carry water for Madame Mooseburger; she's still not going to give you a handie!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

You know how they cherish their lies.
"Benghazi! Benghazi! Ben—"
"This report proves that's all a lie."
"GHAZI!! BENGHAZI!! BENGHAZIIIII!!"

Toots McGee said...

"He whistles louder when he's got NOTHING!"

Frank Stone said...

Re Dec. 30: Theeere it is -- and right on schedule too! You're nothing if not predictable, Mallard.

It's so hard to "wait until the facts come out" when the story is too good to check, isn't it?

And defending George W. Bush? A bold choice, Mallard, considering how squeamish most conservatives are about acknowledging that President Junior even existed. You're quite the trend-bucker, aren't you?

Bill the Splut said...

FRANK STONE, whatever website you linked to has a known liberal bias I'll assume without looking, just like Snopes or that Parade supplement that comes in the Sunday paper. You are in too much denial to admit that Selfiegate is as big a story as Michelle Obama's bangs!
Well, time to cash another check!

--AnonyBruce

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Saw a column today estimating that the total number who will be without health insurance because of the ACA will be in the neighborhood of a whopping 10,000 instead of the millions the GOP is hoping and praying for.

So, how's that hopey-prayey thing working out, guys?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Jan 1: Realized Mallard Fillmore strip is basically one long selfie.