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Monday, December 31, 2012

Meta-Post: Life Choices

I started Duck and Cover in August 2006, which means that I have now spent almost 6.5 years willfully inflicting a daily psychic wound on myself by reading Mallard Fillmore.

When I started, and for the first few years, I was usually taken aback by the audacity of Mallard Fillmore's rampant mendacity. It angered me, much as 6 years of Republican mendacity on the national stage angered me. And I wanted to correct the falsehoods and require that discourse be fact-based. In some extremely small way, it was my protest against President Bush and his cronies.

But for the past year or so, the task has become much more boring, much more pedestrian. Which is not to say that Mallard Fillmore (and those for whom he carries water) are any less mendacious. Probably they are more so. And that is not to say that their discourse is more fact-based. Probably it is less so.

But, frankly, I don't think Mallard Fillmore is actually trying anymore. Mallard Fillmore itself has become an empty husk. Where once it was rage-filled and self-righteous, now it simply repeats, in the most plodding terms imaginable, whatever is currently in a loop on Fox, Drudge, Townhall, or Breitbart.

There's barely any actual anger in Mallard Fillmore anymore...whether over the ginned up outrage or over the fact that no one is allowing themselves to be ginned up. Sure, the words are there, but it's just a pantomime. It's too tiring, I think, for Mallard Fillmore to generate anger and outrage knowing no one feeds on it anymore. Mallard Fillmore has become pathetic (though not pitiable).

Perhaps it's because 6 years of this have inoculated me to Right Wing faux outrage in a way that it seems (I hope) the nation and the media writ large are growing weary of and inoculated against as well. (Witness the impotent fury of the Right Wing over Benghazi while everyone else ignored them.) My tendency, now, is less outrage or desire to de-bunk falsehood and more of a bored shrug. It's The Boy Who Cried Wolf for the 21st Century.

In any event, all of that is to say that I am thinking of ceasing to update the blog. If Mallard Fillmore isn't going to try anymore, then why should I? Why not use the time each day I spend on this blog for something actually useful? And why not return to that blissful pre-2006 state when I never read Mallard Fillmore? Barely even knew it existed?

That said, if someone were interested in taking over, I would certainly entertain that. Just let me know in the comments!

Those damned Rates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Notre Dame

OK, Mallard...what's your solution? What's going on now is simply the Free Market at work. College Football is a huge business, with the lure of Pro Football even bigger. So the focus is on Football, not academics.

Are you proposing some sort of Nanny State solution in which the law decides who can play football and who can't, based on factors other than their capability to play football?

Because, other than to gripe about something that has a thinly veiled racist element to it, I have no idea what your point is.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

That damned Mask

What's Mallard raving about today?


There's so much wrong with this, I hardly no where to focus. But I'll start with the fact that there are no elections in 2013, you moron.

Have at the rest in the comments.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

That damned Blame

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hurricane Sandy

Poor persecuted Teabaggers! How will they survive all the mean old people in the world?

Friday, December 28, 2012

That damned Shark

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sharks, Libya

"And if only the electorate had voted the way that dude over at Unskewed Polls said they would, we would totally have won this election!"

Alas, reality has a well-known Liberal bias.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

That damned Rematch

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mitt Romney, President Obama, Candy Crowley

What's fascinating here is the glimpse into the fantasy world Mallard Fillmore inhabits. A world in which, had Candy Crowley not pointed out a fact, Mitt Romney would have won the election.

It's precisely that completely nuance-less, Black-and-White thinking that makes Republicans so stupid and dangerous at the same time.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

That damned Trial

What's Mallard raving about today?

George Zimmerman, The Media

This from someone who recently screamed that the Media just did not scream loud enough about the Right Wing nontroversy over Benghazi.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Do the opposite of Mallard Fillmore: enjoy life and see some good in things.

Monday, December 24, 2012

That damned News

What's Mallard raving about today?

Joe Biden

Yeah, uh. no.

Republican positions are funnier than the 47% of dead-enders who still believe in them realize. And Joe Biden was using that fact to wipe the floor with the "intellectual giant" of the Republican movement, otherwise known as the guy who, unlike most people, didn't outgrow Atlas Shrugged.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Merry Christmas

As usual, I will give Mallard latitude for this, though timing for that one headline is deeply unfortunate.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

That damned Future

What's Mallard raving about today?

Christmas, The Future

Hey, Christmas Warrior? Why are you saying "holidays" yourself if you're such an ideological purist?

Serious question: Are Fox News viewers actually this dumb?

Friday, December 21, 2012

That damned Support

What's Mallard raving about today?


Ignoring the mendacity, since pointing it out requires just noting that it's coming from Mallard Fillmore...

Everyone recall this when you next hear someone say that we should not politicize tragedies by discussing the need for Gun Control.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

That damned First

What's Mallard raving about today?

Elmo, Charlie Sheen

Wow, yeah...uh...Mallard. Child abuse? Pretty much always too soon. (And, ye Gods! Your doggerel SUCKS.)

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

That damned Card

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, The Race Card

African Americans voted for President Obama by a 93-6 Margin.

Latinos voted for President Obama by a 71-27 Margin.

Asians voted for President Obama by a 73-26 Margin.

But, you know, it's just those darned Liberals who claim the Republican party is not friendly toward non-whites. If only those uppity minorities understood what's good for them, they'd vote Republican. Unfortunately, however, they are just lazy moochers who view the Government as Santa Claus.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

That damned Recycling

What's Mallard raving about today?


For those of us with more than one friend, unlike Mallard, this is not an issue.

Also, for those of us with a shred of humanity and decency, not an issue.

Monday, December 17, 2012

That damned Reference

What's Mallard raving about today?

War on Christmas

Wow, Mallard's advanced from the stage where the heathens were trying to remove references to his deity of choice to the stage where they are actively promoting taking his name in vain.

And all of it just a product of his fevered brain.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

That damned Business

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa, Elves, Taxes

Mallard Fillmore: The only thing wrong about Mitt Romney's 47% remark is that he got the percentage wrong. since 51% of moochers and takers voted for President Obama. But don't worry, continuing to insult 51% of America will win us the next election!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

That damned Dilemma

What's Mallard raving about today?

Obama Care, Small Business

If you're so stupid as to believe what you just said about Obamacare, Ms. Small Business Owner, then, yes, I would get out while you can.

Friday, December 14, 2012

That damned Word

What's Mallard raving about today?

Frankly, I don't know.

The language of this makes it pretty hard to understand what Mallard is getting at, but I think he's suggesting that he doesn't believe Republicans, in the wake of their disastrous 2012 Election results, need to re-package their message (let alone change their positions). Mallard is arguing for the status quo, in the apparent hope that if they just shout their beliefs loudly one more time, this time everyone will get it and we'll all become Republicans.

Because, you know, it's not that their policies are wrong, it's just that everyone else's attitude toward their policies is wrong.

And one wonders how they led themselves to ignore all available facts and believe they were about to score a huge Electoral victory in 2012?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

That damned Need

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa Claus

Isn't that cute? A murderous child can't tell the difference between Santa Clause and God.

Note, also, that the child doesn't know the difference between God (who does the smiting) and Jesus, his Liberal Hippie Son, whose birthday we're about to celebrate.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

That damned Gift Idea

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holidays, Government Spending

Mallard's War on Christmas continues apace.

As does his lack of understanding of Economics.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Monday, December 10, 2012

That damned Want

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama

Even by Mallard's standards, this makes no sense.

President Obama campaigned on a pledge to raise taxes on income over $250,000, which amounts to an increase on the top 2% of earners.

Nothing about that has changed. Mind you, after January 1, if no deal is made, it is possible for taxes to revert to pre-Bush level on everyone. That would, however, be 100% the Republican's fault, as there are already bills available to be voted on that would prevent this, and only Republican intransigency over tax cuts for the top 2% is stopping that from happening.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

That damned Sign

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa, The Economy

I'm not sure why Economists would much care about a horde of Santa homunculi.

I'm pretty sure Mallard Fillmore's mind snapped somewhere around November 6 and he's now quite literally nuts.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

That damned Cliff

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa, The Financial "Cliff"

I don't think Mallard understands the Financial "Cliff". Or he doesn't understand Santa Clause. Or he doesn't understand either.

More likely, he doesn't understand what constitutes an apt comparison.

Friday, December 07, 2012

That damned Belief

What's Mallard raving about today?

Republicans, The Election.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please keep believing that.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Those damed Naughties

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, The Election

After being President for 4 years, Mallard still thinks the President hasn't been vetted. And if people would just buy into all the conspiracy theories that Breitbart and Town Hall make up, which Fox propagates wildly, and which credulous idiots like himself believe...then President Romney!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Those damned Services

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa Claus, President Obama

Well, at least we finally know what "lesson" Mallard learned from the election. It's that 51% of America are greedy moochers, sucking the blood of Real Americans as they live in the lap of luxury courtesy of Government hand-outs.

Good luck with that in 2014!

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

That damned Substitute

What's Mallard raving about today?

Love, Christmas

Mallard Fillmore just gives you that warm holiday glow, don't it?

Monday, December 03, 2012

That damned Relationship

What's Mallard raving about today?


Shorter Mallard Fillmore: Mallard can't be bothered to listen to or understand what other people say to him. But that won;t stop him from feeling persecuted anyway.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

That damned Newsletter

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holiday Newsletters

Holiday Newsletter?

Alert Fox "News". Mallard Fillmore hates Christmas! Burn him!

Saturday, December 01, 2012

That damned Coincidence

What's Mallard raving about today?

2012 Election

Yes, Mallard. That's the lesson of the 2012 election. Keep thinking that until at least 2016. Please.

And if possible, say it a lot. In public.