That damned List

What's Mallard raving about today?

Beloit College

What must it be like to go out of your way to be upset by things which have no chance of affecting you whatever?

Such as a list that helps professors make references and comparisons that have meaning to their students.

Extra Credit: Draw a straight line between Mallard's reflexive hatred of progress, as a perfect illustration of the Conservative mindset, and Todd Akin.

That damned Job

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jobs, Education

Was it really necessary to add "Drive-Thru"? Wouldn't "McDonald's" suffice?

That damned Darwinism

What's Mallard raving about today?

Social Darwinism

At a time when only 40% of Republicans think we should help people who can't help themselves, it's simply accurate labeling to call their policies Social Darwinism.

That damned Indicator

What's Mallard raving about today?

Graduates, The Economy

"...Plus, you went to a school that could only get Mallard Fillmore for its commencement speech, so your life took a really bad turn somewhere."

That damned Year

What's Mallard raving about today?

College Athletes

In what way would a non-athlete college student provide "entertainment to a lot of people" during his one year at college? Is Mallard advocating prostitution as a means for paying college tuition?

Kidding aside, this may be the stupidest thing Mallard has ever written.

That damned Evidence

What's Mallard raving about today?

Iowa, Conservatives, Higher Education

Suddenly Mallard is in favor of Trial Lawyers, Hiring Quotas, and Rushing to Judgement.

That damned Thingie

What's Mallard raving about today?

College Students, College Professors, ACA

Wow, so...now we're attacking Professors, those elite eggheads you always rail against, for being ignorant?

And it's a proud member of the anti-science, anti-fact, anti-education political party making this accusation?

Stunning.

That damned Box

What's Mallard raving about today?

Same thing as yesterday

For God's sake, Mallard, we got it days ago.

That damned Thing

What's Mallard raving about today?

Higher Education, Racism

Mallard Fillmore: proving daily that repeated assertion and fact are not related, no matter how hard you try.

That damned Quota

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jeremy Lin, Higher Education, Racism

You see how Mallard ties this all together into one nice neat, incoherent bow?

Those Damned Test Scores

What's Mallard raving about today?

Universities, Asian-Americans

For those curious, here's the basis for today's Mallard Fillmore:

We have recently completed an extensive examination of how much weight is placed on applicants' many characteristics in the elite private university admission process. Race and ethnicity matter in producing a diverse class. Measured on an all-other-things-equal basis, black applicants have an admission advantage compared with whites equivalent to 310 SAT points (on the old 1,600-point scale), while the advantage for Hispanic candidates is 130 points. Asian-American applicants face a disadvantage of 140 SAT points.

Of course, Mallard chooses the highly inflammatory phrasing "require Asians to score 140 points higher" when, of course that is a falsehood.

Anyone want to venture a guess what Mallard would say if college admissions were 50% Asian-Americans?

That damned Office

What's Mallard raving about today?

Harvard

Asian Americans make up 4.4% of The US Population.

Thanks to commenter DiR, we know that 18% of Harvard's class of 2015 are Asian American.

Ergo, facts have a Liberal bias, which we know because the only alternative is that Mallard Fillmore is a lying sack of crap...and we all know that can't be true.

That damned Bias

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jeremy Lin, Racism, Higher Education

Geez, this again?

That damned Debate

What's Mallard raving about today?

Don't Ask Don't Tell, Colleges

Let's compare lists of college professors fired for that reason and service members discharged just for being gay, OK?

Those damned Mobs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sociology, Flash Mobs

Much better to study journalism and spend your life drawing poorly and not making jokes (or sense).

Those damned Careers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Education, Engineering, Psychology

Fresh off mocking Social Networking, Mallard Fillmore (who regularly derides Higher Education) reads USA Today and finds out the Engineers, such as those responsible for building Social Networks, earn much more than he does.

Psychology majors do as well, but who's counting?

Those damned T-Shirts

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fidel Castro, Che Guevara, Grad Students

You know how Mallard bleats about Higher Education and speech codes which he sees as a threat to Right Wing speech?

Well, forget that for a moment, because T-shirts worn by college students is a dire threat to America and must be stopped!

Those damned Buzz-Killers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Education

For those of you who have forgotten, what the study actually says is this: "...the authors followed more than 2,300 undergraduates at two dozen universities, and concluded that 45 percent 'demonstrated no significant gains in critical thinking, analytical reasoning, and written communications during the first two years of college."

Mallard sees no irony in the fact that he lacks the necessary critical thinking and analytical reasoning to actually comprehend the study to which he refers.

And, while lying about the study, Mallard can't even quote the percentage right (36% vs. 45%)....one day after chastising a child for mis-spelling a word in an Email.

Mallard Fillmore: Less intelligent than a 5th grader, with less self-awareness, and delusions of grandeur.

That damned Obscenity

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teachers, Western Civilization.

Lacking anything actually worth complaining about, Mallard trots out a favorite Straw Man.

That damned Study

What's Mallard raving about today?

Education

Mallard continues to flog this horse, despite the fact that he is lying about what the study found. Thus proving that schools are over-preparing people, assuming their aspiration is to be a Right Wing propagandist.