Project Wonderful Banner

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

That damned nothing

What's Mallard raving about today?

College Education

Proving that Right Wing mouthpieces cannot stop lying because they cannot stop talking (the two activities are inextricable in their case), behold Mallard Fillmore:

  • What Mallard Says: "Half of all students learn nothing in their first two years of college."
  • What the study actually says: "...the authors followed more than 2,300 undergraduates at two dozen universities, and concluded that 45 percent 'demonstrated no significant gains in critical thinking, analytical reasoning, and written communications during the first two years of college.'"
I can name someone who has demonstrated no significant gains in critical thinking, analytical reasoning, and written communication since Elementary School.


Tog said...

Seriously. Bruce Tinsley, tireless proponent of the Laffer Curve (not to mention, tireless adherent of an endless stream of foaming-at-the-mouth sociopaths), is lecturing college students for being learn-nothings, on the basis of a study he's incapable of comprehending.

Just mindboggling.


Kip W said...

You good-for-nothing so-called college students should follow Tin's lead, and quest relentlessly for truth and intellectual advancement. You'll need a beanbag chair.

dlauthor said...

Tinshley, on the other hand, learned how to make a beer bong and how to shotgun on his very first day at college!

Since then, not much. But still!

Steve-O said...

Hey look, one more group of people hated by Tinsley! I think at this point it would be more efficient to name groups of people he doesn't hate. Maybe just one group, White rich guys who vote Republicsn (as long as they aren't baby-boomers).

Marion Delgado said...

"critical thinking, analytical reasoning, and written communication" are all heavily penalized in the modern college. They'll all mark you as a liberal.

rewinn said...

"Wa-a-a-ah - DaveyK actually read about the study, instead of accepting what he was to-o-o-o-old! That's not Fair! He's not Thinking Right!"

Frank Stone said...

Bruce, every time you lie and deceive like that, you make Jesus cry.

You do know that when He died for your sins™, it didn't mean you had a free pass to KEEP sinning, right?

Marion Delgado said...

Frank Stone, if you read your Jack Chick (and it can even be read drunk or hungover, and is at its best then), you'd know that that's EXACTLY what that meant.

Iron Dragon said...

I would point out that critical thinking can be very hard to measure in a meaningful way. Not to mention the old joke of how to tell a freshman from a junior, when the professor says 'Good Morning' the Freshman says 'Good Morning' while the junior writes it down. Hell there are old comics about that in Doonesbury written in the early 80's I believe.

As for written communication, that might be more because a lot of students learned it was easier to create pages of babble and filler than to do a research topic and plenty of professors don't care either way. But meh.

Kip W said...

Years ago, as part of a class, I actually lectured another class. I was talking about the history of comic books (go with what you know!) and included a couple of random facts about earliest publication dates. And then, the weirdest thing happened. They started writing down what I was saying!

It's definitely a strange feeling, the first time it happens. You just say something, and they're all wondering if it'll be on the test!

Okay, total digression over. Back to the snark.

Marion Delgado said...

Iron Dragon: transcribed by Patrick Allen at The Readers Place:

A professor is standing at a podium at the front of a class of college students. He says, "And in my view, Jefferson's defense of these basic rights lacked conviction. Okay, any discussion of what I've covered so far?"

The students are all busy scribbling notes.

He thinks to himself, Of course not. You're too busy getting it all down.

He then says, "Let me just add that personally I believe the Bill of Rights to be a silly, inconsequential recapitulation of truths already found in the constitution, any comment?"

Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!

"No, SCRATCH that! The constitution ITSELF should never have been ratified! It's a dangerous document! All power should rest with the EXECUTIVE! What do you think of THAT?"

Scratch! Scratch! Scratch! Scratch!

"Jefferson was the ANTICHRIST! Democracy is FASCISM! BLACK IS WHITE! NIGHT IS DAY!"

Scribble! Scribble! Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!

He puts his head down on the podium in despair, and says, "Teaching is dead."

One of the students says to another, "Boy, this course is really getting interesting."

And the other student responds, "You said it. I didn't know half this stuff."