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Friday, February 25, 2011

Those damned Oscars

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Oscars.

Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation.

Oh, pretend all you want, Mallard, that you hate the Oscars. We know you just hate human contact.

14 comments:

Steve-O said...

You mean to tell me that Mallard hates something other people like? Color me shocked!

Also, he includes global climate change? I thought that didn't exist, or maybe it does exist now that Mars has it too. Trying to get inside Mallard's head is a frustrating and very frightening experience.

Rootbeer said...

And if she says "Oscar" one more time, he's going to commit Chantelicide!

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

It's funny because she's (gag) his girlfriend and he hates her.

Tog said...

I asked myself, "Well, what activities WOULD Mallard enjoy doing with Chantel, besides bestiality and murder?"

The only thing I could come up with was "bitching and moaning about everything."

Steve-O: Neocons long ago started switching over from "it doesn't exist!!" to "it isn't man-made so we can't do anything to stop it and shouldn't even try!!!" (Later on, it'll be "well, the liberals didn't try HARD enough to make us do something about it, so this isn't OUR fault and stay the course because now it's too late!!!!")

ianmorris said...

I find that cracked.com has a more constructive approach to being unsatisfied with the Oscars

http://www.cracked.com/article_19047_6-awards-that-would-actually-make-oscars-worth-watching.html

Frank Stone said...

Today's offering makes even less sense than usual. Nouns that are better than an activity?

It's a stinging indictment of the state of conservative "humor" that this strip is the best our nation's newspapers could come up with to present as a "balance" for "Doonesbury" (which, after 40 years, continues to be both timely and funny, while "Mallard Fillmore" has been running on its own recycled fumes for the past 99.9 percent of its existence).

ajm said...

It's a stinging indictment of the state of conservative "humor" that this strip is the best our nation's newspapers could come up with to present as a "balance" for "Doonesbury" (which, after 40 years, continues to be both timely and funny, while "Mallard Fillmore" has been running on its own recycled fumes for the past 99.9 percent of its existence).

A few years back Garry Trudeau developed a narrative where B.D. -- usually Doonesbury's resident one-dimensional reactionary windbag -- lost a leg while serving in Iraq. Trudeau interviewed Iraqi vets and toured VA hospitals in doing research, and turned B.D. into a genuinely heroic character.

Now imagine Tinsley developing Chantel in such a manner.

Raynfala said...

Since when did his girlfriend start sporting a mustache?

(Not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Bill the Splut said...

And I thought for sure that the punchline would be "Things better than Mallard Fillmore."

DiR said...

I submit that one could not possibly as that question in a rhetorical manner. Sarcastic, sure.

Raynfala, the part of Chantel will today be played by latin sensation Caesar Romero.

rewinn said...

Three weeks ago, freedom was breaking out over North Africa.

Conservatives still haven't figured out what to say about that, but what the heck, they can complain about TV.

Meanwhile ... has anyone considered the possibility that Chantelle is merely a figment of Mallard's imagination? How else could she possibly still be around him - she's smart, professional, and obviously not very needy; he's nasty to her and to everyone else. Unless she's his caseworker, she's got to be his fantasy.

Tog said...

Tinsley himself claims to be married to a lovely, understanding liberal lawyer, in spite of the fact that he constantly maligns liberals as irredeemable idiots and open threats to MERIKA NUBBER WUN!!!1

Chantel appears to be her comic-strip version-- which should be of dire concern to the lady if she actually exists and isn't just a manifestation of Tinsley's dishy skull-mush.

Frank Stone said...

A few years back Garry Trudeau developed a narrative where B.D. -- usually Doonesbury's resident one-dimensional reactionary windbag -- lost a leg while serving in Iraq. Trudeau interviewed Iraqi vets and toured VA hospitals in doing research, and turned B.D. into a genuinely heroic character.

Now imagine Tinsley developing Chantel in such a manner.


I can see it now: Chantel gets her leg blown off, leading to a week of Mallard's head telling "jokes" about how stupid liberals are, insinuating that Chantel deserved her fate (while she stands, one-legged, on crutches in the background).

Kip W said...

Bill the Splut: Great minds! See yesterthread.