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Friday, December 31, 2010

That damned Blame

What's Mallard raving about today?


If you are looking for a yardstick, Republican have spent 10 years (and counting) blaming President Clinton for everything which went wrong during President Bush's Administration.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Chia-Obama

Ohhhh, apparently Chia-Obama is some sort of metaphor for buyers remorse regarding President Obama. Wow, that was well-hidden from the reader.

By the way, for those of you interested in such things, Chia-Obama has now gotten more mentions in the last 2 weeks than President Bush since I started this blog.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

That damned Prediction

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

When they reach the same point as President Bush's did in 2007/8, please let me know.

Oh, I forgot, low approval numbers are only significant when there's a Democrat in Office. Silly me.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

That damned Terrorist

What's Mallard raving about today?

German Toddlers, Swiss Grandmothers, Muslims.

Anyone who "looks Muslim" should just be locked up. Wearing a Sari? You look Muslim to Mallard, so tough shit.

Monday, December 27, 2010

That damned Syndrome

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hollywood, Taxes.

Wait, uh...wouldn't "Mr Williams" have to pay higher taxes also? Or has he found a way to get a tax passed that doesn't apply to celebrities?

Seriously, Mallard Fillmore has become even less thoughtful than ever before, and that's saying something!

Today's panel may as well just say: "Hollywood Liberals, Taxes, Booga Booga!" Adding the drawing is entirely optional as it adds nothing anyway.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Well, not to a lot of you readers who don't "believe" in the sense that Mallard means it.

Because Mallard's pulling no punches today: Merry Christmas to believers; the rest of you can fuck the hell off.

Oh, and Christians are persecuted in some places in the World, which means Mallard is totally justified in calling for the immediate strip search of anyone who looks Muslim.

Honestly, Mallard. Jesus hates you.

Friday, December 24, 2010

That damned Faith

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Salvation Army, Employment.

Mallard Fillmore has reached as point where I quite literally have no idea what the hell he's trying to say anymore.

I do know that every day he proves why he should be out of work as a comic artist. And today is a real stunner.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

That damned Jacket

What's Mallard raving about today?


That narrative where Mallard is unemployed? Apparently still going on. Who would have guessed?

And Mallard hates other people and prefers giving gifts to himself.

That last one should come as no surprise.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

That damned History

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Chia-Heads.

Mallard's now objecting to President Obama because people are making commemorative merchandise for the first Black President in U.S. History.

I'd say "unbelievable" but, honestly it's just what you'd expect from a bilious, joyless waterfowl.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

That damned Planter

What's Mallard raving about today?

Television, President Obama.

Hey, look at that. Mallard is still complaining about what's on TV, but not doing something else or even changing the channel.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

That damned Sanctimony

What's Mallard raving about today?

Political Correctness, Christmas.

How about this one..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Note that "others" is not qualified based on skin color, political affiliation, or religion.

Given that you spend at least 365 days a year (including today) being an insufferable prick towards everyone, I do not accept your sanctimony. If the Bible ends up being true, when you stand in judgement, I think you will have a nasty surprise in store.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Those damned Chinese

What's Mallard raving about today?


Definition of "complete asshole": engaging in mindless and repetitive airing of grievances, using Santa as your mouthpiece.

Friday, December 17, 2010

That damned Education

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa Claus, Education.

I mean to do that, they'd have to spend money on Education, but Billionaires need tax cuts, so that ain't going to happen.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

That damned hegemony

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa Claus, Teachers.

Mallard Fillmore makes a living complaining bitterly about problems which exist only in his imagination. Kinda like Fox...

On another note, The Seattle comics site has rating stars for each day's Mallard Fillmore. Please take note and do whatever comes naturally.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

That damned Post Office

What's Mallard raving about today?


Imagine the kind of effort it takes to get yourself riled up about the Postal Service. Effort that could be used to, say, learn to draw or use the English language effectively instead.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

That damned Mastodon

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Holidays.

Wow, so much awfulness, so little time...

  1. "The Holidays"? Even with scare quotes, why do you hate Christmas?
  2. For God's sake, Mallard, if you hate your Significant Other's cooking, is this really the forum for airing that particular grievance?
  3. Just because you are incapable of cooking does not make it a typical malady. It just means you're a complete Lackwit.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Those damned Girls

What's Mallard raving about today?


With just 3 weeks to go, Mallard lobs out a doozy of a contender for the 2010 "Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation."

Thanks. I'm going to drink bleach now, and forget.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

That damned Santa

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, Santa, The Economy.

Four days ago, Mallard ranted about how commercialization of "the Holidays" was destroying our connection to the Christian aspects of Christmas.

Then for the next three days, Mallard employed Santa Claus, a symbol of both commercialization and secularization of Christmas, as a foil for his petty rants.

I don't know how Mallard can stand being in his own head.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Those damned Holidays

What's Mallard raving about today?


I mean, if it weren't for Mallard Fillmore, I wouldn't even know it was Christmas...

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

That damned Antidote

What's Mallard raving about today?

Charlie Brown.

Mallard Fillmore: All entertainment must proselytize or I will decry it. But I won't get up from my comfy chair to do it. Or change the channel.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

That damned Belief

What's Mallard raving about today?

Santa Claus, President Obama.

People no longer believe President Obama exists? I had no idea.

Monday, December 06, 2010

That damned Time

What's Mallard raving about today?

TSA Procedures.

Mallard, it's pants-wetters like yourself who have brought us to this point. For 8 years, no amount of civil liberty sacrifice was enough and anyone who objected was immediately decried as wanting the Terrorists to win.

Gee, what could have changed since then?

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Saturday, December 04, 2010

That damned Update

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holidays, Family Updates.

Apparently bored spewing mindless bile at Democrats and Liberals, Mallard has decided that he needs a wider audience to encompass his hatred and has chosen People who Interact with Other People as his new target.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Those damned Letters

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Holidays, Letters from other people.

Um, Mallard...

No one is as bitter and hateful as you. You're not normal.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Those damned Canadians

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holidays, Health Care.

If only it were true. But since Mallard Fillmore is saying it, you know it's no true.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

That damned Resource

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?

Renewable resources, Holiday specials.

Aaaaaaand we're back to moaning about TV, as if there were no options available to Mallard Fillmore to avoid it.

In truth, Mallard Fillmore appears to be acting out his own version of A Christmas Carol. One guess as to which role he's taken on personally.