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Friday, December 24, 2010

That damned Faith

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Salvation Army, Employment.

Mallard Fillmore has reached as point where I quite literally have no idea what the hell he's trying to say anymore.

I do know that every day he proves why he should be out of work as a comic artist. And today is a real stunner.


Factinista said...

Does this guy even realize what "ye of little faith" was referring to? Or that it's related to Easter, and not Christmas?

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

He's pretending to care about homeless people. It's real cute.

Taquelli said...

The message, obviously, is that unemployed people should just suck it up; they shouldn't actually expect help from the same people who were more than willing to prop up the same companies that let them go. Get a job, welfare rats!

exanonymous said...

Oh, right, he's awesome because he writes checks when he's unemployed. Unlike those other strawmen he routinely criticizes.

Just like religion, charity doesn't count if you only use it to smirk at others once a year. But they could use the check.

Tog said...

"Yeah, don't donate cash, goods, or time to charity: that's socialism! Give 'em a check and make sure everyone sees you doin' it. It's gonna bounce anyway."
--Grampa Duck

I think that, after years of carrying water for the wrong wing with its long-proven-incorrect "tax cuts for the wealthy create jobs" and "unemployment benefits only make Americans lazy" philosophies, Batshit is finding it very difficult to impress his remaining acquaintances with his personal "conservatives are really big tippers and honestly care about the working poor" fantasies.

This strip is no longer about trying to convert the reader; now it's about Batshit desperately trying to keep Batshit convinced that he hasn't been completely full of it for years.

Ducky is Right said...

"Boy, I sure am an insufferable asshole, aren't I?"

Kip W said...

I worked for an answering service whose clients included a certain charity (point, point). There were regular calls from itinerant people passing through who knew they could get lodging in a motel plus a voucher for a meal at a restaurant in each town they touched at the price of an earnest talk from the Lieutenant or Captain or whatever his rank was.

It's pretty clear that Mallard doesn't know about this scam, or he'd denounce this scam and the saps who enable it.

dlauthor said...

Yes, that $25 a year really makes up for what an infected foreskin of a person you are, you souse. Merry Christmas and to all a good token gesture!

Frank Stone said...

Boy -- Mallard really does have only two expressions, doesn't he? (Plus feathers that randomly change color depending on how lazy Brucie is at the moment.) Even when he's pretending to care about others, he still manages to look like a dick.

What's sad is that Brucie probably really believes that, with this pseudo-compassionate tripe, he's fooling people into thinking that he's not a hopelessly meanspirited sociopath after all.

Ah, well. Merry Xmas, everyone!

Kaitlyn said...

If he does it every year, how come he never brags about it?

Also WTF.

And is he saying that people who are unemployed who don't donate money are bad since it can always get worse?

With all the news about the Salvation Army, is this deliberate?

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

Now, as promised, I shall begin revealing Tinsley's plans for the future. I tricked him by painting a beer can on a flat cardboard sign, and stole his ideas.

1. Mallard interviews foreigners to find out why they all want to kill us.
2. A look back at the caveman days, and why everything was better without technology.
3. Black guys describe how much they love slavery, and hate the Constitution.
4. Why we need to nuke the Northern part of America after everything outside of America is dead so that the Deep South can reign supreme.
5. Why everyone in the world believes in the Christian God, and anyone who does not believe in the Christian God needs to die a slow, agonizing death, and burn in Hell.
6. Why he is going to go Galt, so no one will be able to help him; and why his servants need to work harder so he does not have to do anything for himself.

I will continue to list these tomorrow, hopefully ruining Tinsley's Christmas, just as he ruins every other day for me--assuming someone reads this to the illiterate luddite asshole piece of shit.

Word Verification: Risespa, yes, Spa the evil God who allows Mallard Fillmore to exist. Get out of my mind, Spa! No, stop--I'a Spa, I'a Spa, Spa phthang en Ry'legh, rise from the depths, and send us into sweet oblivion!

rewinn said...

Any chance that being unemployed will give Mallard some insight into reality?

Who knows. He's a fictional character, so anything is possible.

Tog said...

Here's how Batshit can continue to "think" the way he does...

Crooks and Liars: O'Reilly and Coulter Try To Explain Why Right-Wing Scroogery is Really Christian Charity

Upshot: Bill O thinks Jesus wants charity recipients drug-tested, but Big Government's too busy throwing away all our money on crackheads. And Coulter? "Liberals think sending a check to the IRS constitutes charity." OH SNAP.

From the article comments, this gem:
The truth of the matter is, conservatives like O'Reilly and Ann Coulter are constantly looking for some kind of justification for their 'me first' ideology and they just won't find it in the Bible without completely shredding the Scripture. That's just a fact, and indeed it's why you have folks like Andy Schlafly from the 'Conservative Bible Project' rewriting the Bible. As I've said a thousand times already, a lot of conservatives are faced with a dilemma in that their politics is at odds with their religion. They are trying very hard to claim it's the religion which is wrong -- last week Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said he wanted to abolish the United Methodist Church for their support of the DREAM Act, for example. But the churches are fighting back because ultimately any church worth a damn isn't going to care about politics so much as their mission, which hasn't changed in 2,000 years despite people's best efforts. That mission is to serve the poor, sick, elderly, oppressed and marginalized. End of story.

Conservatives of the Christian persuasion can pretend it isn't so but they will be wrong, and I have a feeling they know they are wrong.

Happy Holidays!

Rootbeer said...

I think average, hardworking Americans need a break instead of a lecture.

Merry Christmas.