What's Mallard raving about today?
Yes, poor crass commercialized Christmas has been lost to the crass commercialized Holidays. That's a real tragedy of the season.Obviously, Mallard does not set foot in a Christian church, that place where Christmas actually has the high ground and strength of celebration. No, his concern is with plastering the word Christmas commercially anywhere there might be any diversity to shove anyone else's holiday into obscurity. As well as New Years. He hates that one too, maybe because its full of happy drunks singing.
I don't get it.Who the fuck are these people? Jewy hippie liberal and... his... ex-college football playing, transvestite friend?Why do you have a job? How can anyone pay you to produce this? My mind simply cannot comprehend it.May I suggest this as an alternative to this abomination of a comic strip?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaqo2IhH4kw
This one is really hard to parse, even for a Tinshley production. Since the pronoun & verb "they're" in her balloon are plural, it makes it look like the antecedent is "'the holidays'" (extra quotes included at no additional charge). Which left me wondering for a time out of what the holidays were sucking the simple nondescript, generic beauty.Once I re-parsed it with "'the holidays'" as the antecedent for "'em" instead, I was still left scratching my head as to just which "they" is supposedly doing the sucking. But I'm sure Tinshley had the megacorps pushing merchandise in mind, right?
Jesus came to earth and died for ALL of us. Including the hippie straw men too.
Tinz DOES know that there are other gift-giving holidays around this time of year, doesn't he? Holidays which are celebrated by several million people just in my region alone?And he does know that it's the free market which dictates that you try your best not to alienate millions of customers?Why does Tinz hate the free market?
It's Christmas Goddamnit! We celebrate Christmas here, not whatever faggy HOLIDAYS you pinko, pagan bastards recognize. Now go and buy a goddamned big screen TV and a luxury viewing blob for chrisakes! Jesus, it's tiresome straightening out these hippies.
So "The Holidays" now requires scare quotes in Mallard's world? Is this because he thinks "The Holidays" don't really exist? I mean, I've always understood them to mean something along the lines of "so-called", as in, Brucie is a comic "genius".Or is he just perturbed that there is more than one (official Christian) holiday during this season?WV: eflux. A composite of "e-mail" and "reflux"; the disgusting, throw-up-in-your-mouth feeling one gets from reading this kind of crap on the intertubes.
New Year's Eve is becoming commercialized? Tinsley should be happy about that one, since the presents are usually booze.
I can't imagine what it would be like to feel a sense of accomplishment after shitting out something like this.
Wait, the holidays have an actual name?Hmm.. Christ-mass .... my God, it's a religious holiday!And I never knew .. until I read Mallard Fillmore! YOU MANIACS! YOU HID CHRISTMAS! OH, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
What a wonderful world we live in, where nothing is going on that is more important than the war between Christmas and The Holidays.
I might just be wantin' a dick to suck with my coffee.
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