What's Mallard raving about today?
Bruce Tinsley, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.Of all the Bruce Tinsleys in the world, you're the Bruce Tinsliest.Thanks for the "tip", let me return the favor.Lazy Ass Cartoonist Tip #35: If you have absolutely nothing else to say, draw a duck slumped in front of a television, bitching about the shows on TV. (Hint: you'll need to expend a drop of creative energy coming up with a narrative framing device like Television Programming Gripe #12....don't use that one specifically, it's just an example.)
Bruce Tinshley: annoyed that Rudolph teaches kids that discriminating against those who are different is bad, and that the Grinch wound up becoming nice instead of taking all the Whos' gifts home and getting drunk in front of the tube.Though you know that if he were one of the Peanuts, he'd end up all hunched by himself, pissed off that he's the only one who wants to keep mocking that loser Charlie's stupid tree.On another note, I have to take exception to the notion that he would ever utter or even think words as complicated (or, as he'd no doubt put it, "faggy") as "proselytize" and "decry."
This, from a dolt who probably doesn't understand why the Grinch has his change of heart after seeing how Whoville cares more about peace and brotherhood than crass materialism.And who'd have enthusiastically voted for Burgermeister Meisterburger, then later denied doing so once his approval rating dropped below 25%.
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."It's a perennial Christmas favorite; it shouldn't be that hard to get the quote right.
Sparky to Tinsley from the grave: "Please leave me out of this, you hack."
Everything I've read about Charles Schulz's personal life suggests he was about as conservative as Tinsley is -- but Schulz was manifestly NOT a jerk.
Name a few positions Jesus supported in your Magic Book that you support in real life, Bruce the Douche. The more a Christian fundie screams about how much they love Jesus, the less Christlike their actions will be.Also, don't you think that you might be undermining your theology by quoting nonexistant cartoon characters? Oh, wait, that's as deep as yours goes. Are you going to rip into Cartoon Network next, since they don't play no "Davey and Goliath"?WV: procti; most people use their "mind's eye" for imagination. To see Bruce's, you need to use the eye of a proctologist.
Jeebus. Even when he tries to convey a positive sentiment, he still manages to be a dick about it.Pathetic.
The moral of the past few weeks on Mallard Fillmore: "If you lose your job, sit in front of the TV and be sad."
"Charlie" briefly mentions Christ's birth (Batshit: "HA! It's OUR holiday! No one else's! Take THAT, Jewslims!!") and quickly moves on in favor of its long-suffering underdog theme. So of COURSE Batshit finds it to be whacking material.As for me? The 1971 Chuck Jones/Alastair Sim animated "A Christmas Carol."No doubt Batshit hates Dickens' classic, what with all that Socialist talk of helping your fellow man in distress. Sure, "Charlie Brown" pays brief lip service to such Christian values as peace on Earth and goodwill towards men, but then it has the good sense to move the hell on to tinseling trees and dancing dogs. I mean, when the Ghost of Christmas Present says, "Oh, God! To hear the insect on the leaf, pronouncing on the too much life among his brethren in the dust"...Well! It's almost as if the dirty bastard's criticizing Rush Limbaugh's "let them eat dumpster food" proclamation! Scandalous!! We should declare war on somebody over it!(1971's "A Christmas Carol" can be found on YouTube.)
I can see why Mallard Fillmore likes that scene: it's preachy and Linus forgot to tell a joke.
Tog - it's a Muppets Christmas Carol or nothing!How the hell is this a "tip"?He could have said "watch this is as an antidote...."Also, yeah it sucks that we acknowledge that not everyone celebrates Christmas. In his world.
Regardless of Schultz's politics, he was a brilliant cartoonist. Yeah, he was a bit overly willing to merchandise the shit out of his creation, but he could only do that because it was so good. Whereas the only manifestation of MF marketing--those two books--sunk without a trace, because nobody gives a shit about Tinsley's worthless hackery.
Tinsleys real gripe here is that 20 years from now people will still fondly remember Peanuts, Where as tisleys strips will reside at the bottom of bird cages long long forgotten.
The irony, of course, is that Ducks wouldn't know what the true meaning of Christmas was, if it was at the bottom of a tequila bottle.
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