What's Mallard raving about today?
God, it's only the 18th. Are we going to get another whole week of Batshit's new shtick? To wit: the punchline remains the same, it's the set-up that changes, but it's still never actually funny or even remotely insightful."Those damn Democrat Partyists! Running up a huge deficit, destroying the Bush surpluses and then borrowing massively from China! Don't try to refudiate to me that's not how it happenated! I watch FOX News!"--Anonymous
Wait. Wait.This is the exact same fucking strip. He just changed some words in the first bubble.Good lord, I can't even comfortably wrap my head around this.I wish I could be this bad at my chosen profession, and still live comfortably off it for 15 years.
"A Mallard Fillmore that doesn't suck"?... Who do I look like... Santa Claus?
That kid looks creepy.Why are things made in China? Oh right, because they're cheaper. And why are they cheaper? Because the Chinese government doesn't regulate the businesses and stand up for workers rights. But remember kiddies, the rich in our country are hardworking and will always do the right thing, and government regulation and unions are bad!
Shorter* duck: "'A free market that always provides optimal results?' Who do I look like, Santa Claus?"* Shortness not guaranteed. Results may vary.
Gosh, I love this Santa Claus."An Xbox?? Do you know how expensive those are.""A dollhouse?? Those are heavy, and I just had surgery on my back so I shouldn't be lifting stuff like that.""A bicycle?? Have you ever tried assembling one of those? The medication Santa's on makes it hard for do things like that."
Something from Mallard Fillmore besides venom, bile, and stupidity?WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE?SANTA CLAUS???
Toots, it's considered better when children are disappointed to offer alternatives!Examples: slumber party, just Bruce and the kids picked up at the mall. Dust angels. Jello shooters.Get the idea?
Isn't it a little early to be regifting?WV: mings; the type of vases these strips aren't
A "Mallard Fillmore" that hints at the idea that our trade policy is detroying American jobs and therefore ruining our economy?What do I look like - Santa Claus?Does Tinshley lack the courage to come out and say it? - his owners are part of the same conglomerates that exports jobs. Or is he too angry, drunk and self-absorbed to blame anybody but liberalobamaleftists for the job exports that are killing our great nation?In a positive light, let me urge y'all a happy holiday giving gifts homemade, or regifting something from last year, or bought at a thrift store (so the environmental & jobloss costs were absorbed in the 1st purchase), or if all else fails, made locally. The economy you save may be your own! (Follow this and similar challenges on Change the World Wednesday. It is better to light a candle than to curse the Mallard Fillmore (...but we can do both!)
Bruce Tinsley on Santa's lap. Dialogue balloon:"Artistic talent? What do I look like? Santa Claus?"
"A new punch line? Who do I look like — Garry Trudeau??"
Preview of Sunday's strip: He gets to be an asshole, AND he plays the victim card.
...AND says "Merry Christmas" in the most dickish way imaginable.
...AND fights back against his own special version of straw-political-correctness....WV: unsed - how most things Mallard sez would be better
DavyK seems to have found something better to do that to read today's (Sunday's) Mallard Fillmore (which could not have been much of a challenge).It's another really, really lazy "comic". A couple drawings of a duck (possibly pasted from somewhere else) and a wall of text complaining that someone doesn't like him expressing his gratitude for the birth of Jesus.As an actual Christian, I would like to point out that Jesus told us to give ALL our stuff to the poor (Matthew 19:21 + Luke 12:33), so I'm not terribly impressed by anyone who pretends to follow Jesus and workships a Republican Party that holds unemployment insurance hostage to further enriching the wealthy.
oh wait - DavyK just posted. Ask and ye shall receive!Let me take a moment to express thanks to DavyK's suffering on behalf of this blog. Reading and posting on Mallard Fillmore goes above & beyond!
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