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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

That damned Mastodon

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Holidays.

Wow, so much awfulness, so little time...

  1. "The Holidays"? Even with scare quotes, why do you hate Christmas?
  2. For God's sake, Mallard, if you hate your Significant Other's cooking, is this really the forum for airing that particular grievance?
  3. Just because you are incapable of cooking does not make it a typical malady. It just means you're a complete Lackwit.


exanonymous said...

Airing grievances against your wife in the comics is not cool.

And if its not your wife, airing grievances against the family or friends who give you free food and company for a holiday is also kind of douche-y.

It's not something I can relate to, that's for sure.

James Murton said...

This is from that parallel life where Tinsley created B.C., right? Rather than just a cheap, mean-spirited rip-off?

Tog said...

While the other crap strips are doing tired old jokes about fruitcake and how nobody likes it yet people still hand it out for TEH HOLIDAAAAAAAAAAZE!!11, Batshit is being super original and doing fresh, new jokes about Mastodon and how nobody likes it yet people still hand it out for TEH HOLIDAAAAAAAAAAZE!!11

Christ wept.

It's a new direction for Mallard Fillmore, everybody!

Rootbeer said...

Again, I have no idea what the author's intent with this strip could possibly have been.

It'll be fine, liberal caveman lady. You can just go to Neander*Mart and pick up a frozen mastodon entree to serve instead. The excessive amounts of HFCS and sodium in it make it taste so good, your family won't even care how non-nutritive it is. Plus, it's only $12.88 and feeds ten people.

That's what a real patriotic American cavelady would do.

dlauthor said...

Christmas food is terrible, people! Terrible! I mean, hardly any of it is made of cheap whiskey! They even dilute the rum with egg nog!

It's enough to make a talentless cartoonist want to go off alone and stare at young girls on the Internet.

rewinn said...

Meanwhile, Doonesbury is timely and wryly funny.

I'd like to focus on the positive, but that requires looking away from this "comic".

wavydavy said...

Not to be picky, Davey -- OK, to be picky -- but it's mastOdon (two "o"s, not two "a"s).

As for the strip... well, at least Brucie is referring to an animal that actually cohabited the planet with humans. I am really surprised he didn't go with some kind of dinosaur, since I would bet dollars to doughnuts he's a creationist.

CW in LA said...

rewinn - Right, and since the sole reason for Mallard's existence is to balance out Doonesbury, then the Tinsh is obligated poop out something that is not timely, not wry, and not funny. Mission accomplished!

Maybe this is Brucie's passive-aggressive retaliation against the missus for her suggestion that he not put that damn duck crotch in every single one of his cartoons?

Bill the Splut said...

On the plus side, he's a lot less offensive when he's this incomprehensible.

deepbeep said...

That isn't a caveman, that's a Morlock! I thought they ate hippies, not mastodons.

I'll give him props for mentioning the winter solstice, the real "reason for the season" the Romans renamed to Xmas. And cavemen would actually be celebrating it, unlike B.C. which has cavemen worshiping a godhead who wouldn't appear for thousands of years.

So if you don't like what is cooked for "The Holidays", how about cooking dinner yourself? Did your beer-battered whiskey balls not go over last year?

Frank Stone said...

"Mallard Fillmore": Showing America on a daily basis what happens when a meanspirited prick with no sense of humor tries to be funny.

WV: presniss: What Brucie looks for on Christmas morning. e.g., "Ey! Iss Krismiss! Where's my damn prensiss??"