That damned Recycling

What's Mallard raving about today?

Re-Gifting

For those of us with more than one friend, unlike Mallard, this is not an issue.

Also, for those of us with a shred of humanity and decency, not an issue.

That damned Relationship

What's Mallard raving about today?

Relationships.

Shorter Mallard Fillmore: Mallard can't be bothered to listen to or understand what other people say to him. But that won;t stop him from feeling persecuted anyway.

That damned Newsletter

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holiday Newsletters

Holiday Newsletter?

Alert Fox "News". Mallard Fillmore hates Christmas! Burn him!

Those damned Spectators

What's Mallard raving about today?

Black Friday

A break, not a lecture...

That damned Tip

What's Mallard raving about today?

Toilet Paper

Today, Mallard Fillmore gives advice related to wiping your ass. Good luck forgetting that happened.

That damned Relief

What's Mallard raving about today?

Texting

This is one of those occasions when Mallard Fillmore is bland and unoffensive. He still sucks at his job and spends every waking minute complaining about stuff. But, at least he's not showing his webbed foot deeper into his racist mouth.

That damned Lead

What's Mallard raving about today?

Television, Americans

So, let me see if I understand this correctly...your plan is nullification of Obama's victory because the wrong kind of people voted for him? I'm not sure you understand Democracy, Mallard.

But, to be clear, you're saying the election only counts if you get your votes from people like this guy?

Or this guy?

Or these folks?

That damned Phrase

What's Mallard raving about today?

The New Normal

Sweet Jesus, is there anything Mallard won't complain about?

What's Mallard raving about today?

Americans, Personal responsibility.

But, of course, 47% of Americans, according to Mitt Romney, are not worth worrying about because he'll "never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives."

That damned Man

What's Mallard raving about today?

Toddlers and Tiaras

In other news, a cartoon duck appears strangely familiar with a TV show he decries other people watching.

That damned Headline

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sneakers, Violence

Mallard has spent more time decrying the potential for "sneaker violence" (which never really materialized, I would remind you...since this is the first time I've even heard of this late August event) than he spent decrying multiple events of actual violence, such as the mass killings in Colorado or at the Sikh Temple in Wisconsin.

I wonder what it is about this particular story that so fascinates him?

Also, why does Mallard hate America so much that he criticizes it?

That damned Sneaker

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sneakers

I guess that Mallard is trying to make some point about gun control or maybe about the New York soda size thing. The racist overtones are pretty staggering, however.

That damned Abuse

What's Mallard raving about today?

People, Himself

Mallard Fillmore: Petty asshat with delusions of grandeur.

Seriously, is there even one other cartoonist out there who is equally self-aggrandizing inside of their own strip?

Those damned Rockers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Aging Rockers

Today, Mallard lists things more relevant than himself.

Nice timing on calling attention to aging rockers.

That damned Apathy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Voting

And what's the best solution for voter apathy? If you are a Republican, apparently the answer is restricting voting hours because...you know...stuff.

And, no, it does not have anything to do with reducing the opportunity for voters who might not vote Republican, how dare you suggest that. The fact that voting hours are being restricted only in areas with high concentrations of minorities is just happenstance.

Plus, way to give people a break, not a lecture, Mallard.

That damned Time

What's Mallard raving about today?

Voters

Mallard Fillmore is a sanctimonious asshole who hates Democracy and Freedom.

I am pretty sure this is Mallard bleating impotently about why restricting voting hours is a good thing, which is why the GOP is doing it, and it is NOT about suppressing the vote of those least likely to vote for a Republican, how dare you suggest such a thing, despite the overwhelming evidence that this is, in fact, the case.

That damned Song

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hold Music

This highly contentious and celebrated comic strip is complaining about hold music.

That damned Tank Top

What's Mallard raving about today?

Tank Tops

After a day of over-compensating for forgetting July 4 via Patriotic chest-thumping, Mallard is back to dispensing fashion advice, in true lightning-rod fashion.

Those damned Hips

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pants, Hips

Just a week after decrying regulation of soda, Mallard turns to criticizing fat people, with no hint of irony or any sense of connection between the two.

At this point, Mallard spent 3 days on the Affordable Care Act and 2 (so far) on "Pants: why they annoy me so much" (but people deserve a break, not a lecture).

To recap: Mallard Fillmore continues to be one of the most highly contentious and celebrated comic strips, providing a unique conservative viewpoint to the comics pages. Mallard Fillmore has been a lightning rod for controversy with the right-leaning duck consistently addressing hot button issues and lampooning liberal politicians, the media and cultural establishments.

Those damned Pants

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pants

Mallard Fillmore forgot Independence Day. But he found time to comment on pants.

In all seriousness, I think we're watching, via their incoherent daily ramblings published in comic form,  someone who is sliding into insanity.