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Sunday, September 09, 2012

That damned Abuse

What's Mallard raving about today?

People, Himself

Mallard Fillmore: Petty asshat with delusions of grandeur.

Seriously, is there even one other cartoonist out there who is equally self-aggrandizing inside of their own strip?


dlauthor said...

"... of course, this strip didn't do any good, and in fact ended friendships. Isn't that amazing?"

Anonymous said...

How awesomely meta.

PS: amazing job cropping the bottom half of your email address, fumduck.

I'm a fumduck said...

PPS: god damn it, my internet connection choked on and only partially loaded the image the first time. Awesome.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Gawrsh, I'm gonna need a new fridge. The old one just don't have no more room for these insightful comical strips left on it.

rewinn said...

40% of zero is zero.

So ... "40% more likely" is technically correct.

Has anyone, anywhere clipped Mallard out of a newspaper and given it to a co-worker?

Is Mallard still printed in a newspaper anywhere? (It's not in MY city, and they still print The Family Circus which ... to be fair ... continues to have a certain retro charm about it!)

DiR said...

I don't know if this new hairstyle is intentional or not, but it makes him look like an anal sex toy.

1: People trade out MF strips? What, are they like baseball cards? What a sucky hobby.
2: Only 40%? I don't think Bruce understands... no, I KNOW Bruce doesn't understand how statistics work. 140% increase of a 0% possibility is still 0%.
3: Wow, what a asshole thing to do. Maybe if you feel you're not disliked enough at your workplace; this could work.
4: "as it develops"? What's going to develop? How is, "petty assholes think they're clever: they are not." going to evolve? No, now I'm interested: what's the endgame here, Bruce?

God, he is SO BAD at his job. I wonder what it's like to know that the only reason you have a paycheck is that Doonesbury is an amazing, groundbreaking masterpiece that made conservatives all butthurt, and that newspapers stopped giving a -FUCK- about the comic page four decades ago?

DiR said...

Hmm... strike "increase" from point 2.

@rewinn, my local paper does. I have vague memories that the paper in Buffalo, NY at least did. I suspect that it's part of a pre-arranged package for 1-pagers from the syndicate.

Frank Stone said...

It's fun to fantasize, isn't it, Mallard?

Rewinn: My paper still carries it. In fact, for a long time they ran "MF" and "Doonesbury" on the editorial page together. Gotta have "balance", don'tcha know.

ajm said...

Gotta have "balance", don'tcha know.

Indeed. Balance a funny strip with an unfunny one.

CW in LA said...

Say, what's the percentage of cartoonists who have a blog devoted exclusively to documenting their vast, comprehensive shittiness?

Tog said...

I tell ya, Tinsley, it takes a special talent for you to feed me such flawless set-ups. It really does. Your half-assed attempt to paint Akin as the victim of a media conspiracy, for example, comes out the same day as THIS:

"...from his work on Foreign Relations to his work on the Judiciary Committee, Senator Joe Biden had had career enough long before Barack Obama. And while some liberals will never forgive him for failing to allow corroborating witnesses to affirm Anita Hill's testimony in Clarence Thomas's confirmation hearings — even as Ted Kennedy took a powder — it is Biden's most important legislative accomplishment that deserves special mention here this week, just as a campaign into which the actual words "legitimate rape" have been introduced gets underway in earnest. Because it was Crazy Joe that held the hearings, collected the data, wrote the bill, made the case, tilted hard against the Bible thumpers who said that his proposed law "promoted divorce and... hatred of men" and passed into law 1994's Violence Against Women Act.

"That law alone would signify a major career, and that law alone cleaves our political culture in two in a way that likely won't be discussed this fall, so desperate are the Republicans to stay far away from having to explain the efforts by its vice presidential nominee to pass laws that redefine rape. Even as Republicans in uniform chorus excoriated Todd Akin for accidentally saying what many of them believe to be true, Joe Biden's Violence Against Women Act — which currently requires reauthorization to remain on the books — remains stuck in Todd Akin and Paul Ryan's House and is today in danger of extinction. Why is that the case? It could be that some people are less troubled by violence against women than others. And it could be because we are seeing the starkest dividing line between two opposing views of what government is for than we have seen in our lifetimes. It could be that this is the real culture war that Pat Buchanan could only have dreamed of. One thing seems crystal clear, though. If Senator Biden had held those hearings and written that bill today, it would not pass the radical House of Representatives."

Mark Warren, "Joe Biden: Beyond the Gaffe,"

So thank you, Bruce Tinsley, for helping define why no sane, rational, and moral person would ever side with you and your ilk.

Tog said...

Correction: Warren's article was published three days ago. How's that three-week lag treatin' ya, Bruce?

Neo Tuxedo said...

@Frank Stone: My local paper (the Hagerstown, MD, Herald-Mail) does the same thing. Hooray for fair-and-balanced High Broderism.

Anonymous said... 'awsome' strip! Doonsbury sucked again as usual.

Four good cartoon strips from by Scott Stantis... Number 1 --- Number 2 --- Number 3 and Number 4.

CW in LA said...

Wait, seriously? Anonymelonfucker is reduced to shilling for Prick City now? HAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahaha...

You know that shit is not non-horrible in both its writing and its drawing - especially its drawing - compared to Brews, don't you, Melonfuck?

CW in LA said...

Damn, I meant 'only non horrible. My point is, Prick City is almost as god-awful as Dickish Duck here.

Neo Tuxedo said...

@CW: I was about to call you out on that "not" there. After all, one of those Prick City strips was actually within hailing distance of being based on a recognizable reality. (I cordially invite Anonymelon to guess which one I'm thinking of.)

dlauthor said...

Thanks for linking to Doonesbury, Anonyrast! It was nice to read a good strip for a change. Not bothering with the mess of scribbles your other links were for, though.

We know you mainly just like Prickly City because the main character's an underage girl, anyway.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

I've been reading Prickly City on a daily basis for a few years now, as part of the comics I look at for snide purposes at the Comics Curmudgeon. If there'd been four good strips in that time, I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered the feeling of shock it would have caused.