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Friday, September 14, 2012

That damned Headline

What's Mallard raving about today?

Sneakers, Violence

Mallard has spent more time decrying the potential for "sneaker violence" (which never really materialized, I would remind you...since this is the first time I've even heard of this late August event) than he spent decrying multiple events of actual violence, such as the mass killings in Colorado or at the Sikh Temple in Wisconsin.

I wonder what it is about this particular story that so fascinates him?

Also, why does Mallard hate America so much that he criticizes it?


Bill the Splut said...

Bruce, blow your whistle harder, there are dogs on the moon that can't hear you yet.

Also, Nice Fucking Timing again. It's not like there's some major, fanatical religious violence going on right now about not-sneakers. And by "fanatical," I'm including idiots in all 3 major Abrahamic religions.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Ever notice how lifelike and vital an empty shoe looks like next to, well, Mallard?

rewinn said...

"Only in America can medical bills bankrupt you" is one headline I'll be happy to see go away.

Frank Stone said...

Of course, Mallard/Brucie would be doing the exact same gag if, say, Tim Tebow had lent his name to a line of $300 shoes... right?

BTW, "Mutts" has also been repeating the same joke over and over this week, but at least it's been vaguely amusing. Not being filled with clueless hypocrisy and thinly-veiled racism has also worked in its favor.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what incident in the news led to this. Must have been something only on Fox.

CW in LA said...

Help me out here, is this something that actually happened? Of did Ducky just pull it out of his pustulent cloaca?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

He probably researched it by reading "Curtis." Wait and see if Gunk shows up with his invisible chameleon.

Tog said...

"Because n*****s all kill each other over sneakers! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuh!! ...HEY! STOP BLAMING ALL WHITE MEN FOR WHAT TIMMY McVEIGH DID!"

Andrew said...

For those wondering where all this came from-

Nike, in anticipation of the release of their new Lebron James sneakers (there are a few versions, one of which, which includes a smartphone, will retail for around $300) put out a notice to retailers specifying steps they are requiring to try to minimize the violence that has accompanied the debut of some other high-end sneakers. Specifically, they are not allowing midnight sales, reserved sales, or even displaying promo materials before the release date. This news was released on Aug. 24. So, let's see- yup, 3 weeks ago.

Anything else happen around Aug. 24 Mallard could comment on? Let's see- The Empire State Building shooting, a judge in Texas stated that if Obama was re-elected there would be a civil war, we were about a week into the whole "Todd Akin/legitimate rape/magic vagina" thing, and the RNC was being threatened by tropical storm Issac.

So, yeah, the shoe thing was probably best.

VERIFICATION- 5 nessooki- how Tinsley orders beer at Benihana's.

Bill the Splut said...

Lebron James sneakers (there are a few versions, one of which, which includes a smartphone, will retail for around $300

The shoe--has a PHONE?
Does it also come with an Agent 99? I'd buy that! But I guess I missed it by that much.
Would you believe...that I made a joke that was outdated when I was 8?

CW in LA said...

Mr. Splut, I would believe it, just as I'd believe I laughed at that same joke (contemplate that with envy, Brews). Sorry about that, Chief.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Oh, Bill! Not the Cone of Silence!