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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Those damned Earmarks

What's Mallard raving about today?


Earmarks is the outrage du jour.

Anyone want to bet how often Mallard rages about it during the two upcoming years during which Republicans control the House?

Monday, November 29, 2010

That damned Blame

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Considering that Republicans blamed President Obama for TARP, a Bush Administration program, this is deeply ironic.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

That damned Insult

What's Mallard raving about today?


Which is why Mallard makes sure he's plopped in front of the TV watching it the first time it is broadcast.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

That damned Similarity

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media.

Of all the standardized Right Wing lies, I confess none frustrates me more than this one.

If this was ever true, it has not been true during my lifetime. Conservative viewpoints vastly outnumber Liberal viewpoints on TV. Republicans outnumber Democrats. The Liberals are usually either apologists or to the Right of Ronald Reagan. There is an entire network devoted to pushing Right Wing Propaganda packaged as "News."

And yet, Mallard still feels victimized.

If it were not so nefarious and detrimental to America, I would wonder at the chutzpah.

Friday, November 26, 2010

That damned View

What's Mallard raving about today?


One day apologizing to Veterans and back to bitching about Daytime TV for the 4th day out of 5.

Nice ratio, Patriot Mallard.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

That damned Thanks

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?

Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving.

Mallard Fillmore was so wrapped up in his fake pity party that he forgot Veteran's Day, and so he begs our forgiveness many days later.

Not granted, ass hat.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

That damned Problem

What's Mallard raving about today?


Our biggest problem is lazy lackwit waterfowl who watch daytime TV instead of looking for a job.

Monday, November 22, 2010

That damned Isolation

What's Mallard raving about today?


Mallard's morality play has now veered from complaining about people victimizing him to complaining about daytime TV.

Anyone surprised?

Didn't think so.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

That damned Slur

What's Mallard raving about today?

Wolf Blitzer, Himself.

So, Wolf Blitzer equates Mallard calling him stupid with slurring the "Stupid Community"?

It's like Mallard doesn't even spend a second thinking about whether what he's writing makes any damn sense. Very much like that in fact.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Those damned Sides

What's Mallard raving about today?

NPR, Juan Williams.

Mallard Fillmore just stated that unthinking fear of people who look like Muslims is a valid "Side" in some sort of national debate.

But racism is dead. I know because Mallard said so.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Those damned Places

What's Mallard raving about today?

Himself, Patriots.

To re-cap: Mallard: Patriot. People in some places: Patriots. The rest of you: Not Patriots.

What that has to do with Lactose Intolerance is anyone's guess, but I suspect Mallard long since forgot how this little pity party started.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Those damned Facists

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Himself.

In Mallard's fantasy world, the Right Wing Elite care to hear what he has to say.

In the real world, Mallard is an empty-headed echo chamber on which the rely, but about which they could not care.

Also, fascists use big words?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

That damned Perspective

What's Mallard raving about today?

Groupthink, The Media, Mallard Fillmore.

So the facts don't get lost in all of Mallard's nonsense, NPR fired Juan Williams because one of the faces of their network publicly stated that he has a blanket fear of people who, in his mind, look Muslim. They felt this statement damaged their credibility as a news organization.

The refuge where such a sentiment does not damage credibility (Fox) promptly hired Juan Williams.

Mallard's sellf-aggrandzing persecution complex aside, there's really not much to attack here. This is all manufactured outrage about the fact that the majority of people have reactions of outrage to overt statements of prejudice.

Mallard's beef isn't with NPR. It's with everyone who moved on from the fear-filled days immediately after 9-11 and decided not to capitulate to Terrorists with pants-wetting regularity.

Monday, November 15, 2010

That damned Minority

What's Mallard raving about today?

Juan Williams, NPR.

Wow. Liberals sure are racist. Just witness what Mallard makes Straw versions of them say. Who could need more proof than this?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

That damned Taxpayer

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, Taxpayers.

Remember when we all thought Islamophia=Lactose Intolerance was a horrible metaphor?

Well today, Congress are cannibals because, um, because...well, see taxpayers pay taxes and Constitutionally Congress dictates how that is spent, so,'s totally like Congress are eating people...the American taxpayers to be precise.

It's in Revelations, people!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

That damned Memory

What's Mallard raving about today?

Juan Williams, Liberals.

Liberals wield such power! After all, noted nutjob Glenn Beck is out of a job! Proof! Proof, I tell you!

Friday, November 12, 2010

That damned Look

What's Mallard raving about today?


On the other hand, the average American doesn't force me to look at his crotch.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

That damned Admission

What's Mallard raving about today?

Juan Williams.

Hmmmm. I think I see where this is going.

A new Right Wing bête noire makes an appearance each day, while Mallard protests his lactose intolerance.

Finally, Rupert Murdoch offers Mallard $2m to join Fox because there is no depth to which Fox won't sink.

That's when the panels get a little sticky.

This could win in the category of Most Interminable Series as well if Mallard plays his cards right.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

That damned Quakebuttock

What's Mallard raving about today?

Juan Williams.

I'm pretty sure we have our 2010 "Worst Metaphor" winner here. Seriously? Fear of people "dressed like Muslims" is the same as Mallard being afraid of Ice Cream because he's lactose intolerant?

I'm not even going to ask the question of why precisely he's afraid of Ice Cream in this little metaphor.

I am, however, going to point out that "Quakebottom" establishes that Mallard is less clever than your average 4 year old.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

That damned Boss

What's Mallard raving about today?

Getting Fired.

Oh, God. Please don't tease me like this. It's inhumane!

Seriously, WTF is Mallard raving about today? The fact that people do what their boss tells them to do? Richly ironic for an idiot who repeats everything he hears on Fox, without regard to its factual basis.

Monday, November 08, 2010

That damned NPR

What's Mallard raving about today?

NPR, Muslims.

The idea that one would not immediately wet their pants in fear and demand that someone who "looks like a Muslim" be removed from a plane is a concept Mallard cannot fathom.

But racism is dead. I know because Mallard said so.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Those damned Grants

What's Mallard raving about today?


Mallard Fillmore would like all human endeavor, all learning, all science and art to stop. Immediately.

Yup, sounds about right.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

That damned Call

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Poor President Obama! He needs a makeover as a result of the fact that the majority of Republicans believe a series of demonstrable falsehoods propagated by Fox.

But he's to blame for the fact that Republicans believe in a bunch of lies.

Friday, November 05, 2010

That damned Fight

What's Mallard raving about today?

Bill O'Reilly, The View.

How much of a man-crush does one need to have to tune into the object of that crush on The View?

Thursday, November 04, 2010

That damned Credibility

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Credibility.

Unlike the credibility you get by commenting endlessly on a President with an approval rating in the 40's when you never commented on the last President when his approval fell into the 20's, am I right?

Mallard Fillmore commenting on credibility is the funniest thing that has appeared in this strip's entire history.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

That damned Congressman

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Election.

A bad night for Democrats who will hopefully learn the right lesson and stand for something, especially the Middle Class. Being Democrats, however, I won't be surprised if they veer right instead.

On the plus side, the Blue Dog Democrats had the worst night of anyone. Good riddance and maybe we can get some Progressives into those seats in 2012.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

That damned drumroll

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Election.

While Mallard will likely, for once in his life, prove to be correct in that Democrats will lose big tomorrow, he abdicated any standing to comment on it with his silence in 2006 and 2008 when the shoe was on the other foot.

No matter who you vote for, make sure you vote.

Monday, November 01, 2010

That damned Change

What's Mallard raving about today?

Democrats, Teabaggers.

When the change in Congress (which occurs in January, not so  much overnight) involves the election of closed-minded, extremist, Islamophobes, then I have to ask...what the hell are you talking about?

  • Attitudes towards Arabs: Democrats -- 57% favorable, 30% unfavorable; Republicans -- 28% favorable, 66% unfavorable.
  • Attitudes towards Muslims: Democrats -- 54% favorable, 34% unfavorable; Republicans -- 12% favorable, 85% unfavorable.
  • Do you feel you know enough about Arab Countries/people or Islam/Muslims or do you feel you need to know more?: Democrats -- 68% would "like to know more" about Islam, with 80% wanting "to know more" about the Arab World; Republicans -- 71% say they "know enough" and 58% "don't want to learn more".