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Sunday, November 21, 2010

That damned Dinner

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thanksgiving.

Maybe at your house, loser.

17 comments:

Iron Dragon said...

Hmm, as for no frozen turkeys, so is he saying that everyone should go out and buy a freshly butchered turkey? I would also add in that I find it kind of strange that he'd harp on this, if it's so bad why not just offer to do the cooking himself, or at least some of it (IE 'if you agree to do the actual baked pies I'll get a freshly butchered turkey and I'll handle the basting, cleaning, roasting, etc.) I mean the main purpose should be spending time with family and reconnecting with everyone right?

Tog said...

I find it kind of strange that he'd harp on this

Dude, he'll harp on anything and everything. Incessant bitching is all he really has anymore.

I'm just wondering if he realizes he's just advocated "organics." Like some dirty damn peace-signing radical homosexual hippy liberal!

Marion Delgado said...

This Thanksgiving, Tinsley's blessings will come 24 to the case.

exanonymous said...

I take it Mallard is making all preparations from scratch himself for the next Thanksgiving.

I dislike people who criticize someone else for buying a cake from the store, using gravy packets, or microwaving a dinner. Sometimes you just don't have time, and those critics certainly aren't going to help you. And even if they do help, they always seem to assume that their 2% of the work is equal to your own efforts.

T. Emery Lolsworth said...

We all know what Mallard's Thanksgiving dinner consists of: Wild Turkey.

dlauthor said...

For Tinshley, one should not substitute things that are palatable and good for you with poorer versions that are packed with crap that isn't healthy, just because it's simpler.

With food, anyway. In politics, it's just fine.

You think he prefers his own bathtub vodka to the store-bought kind too?

Bill the Splut said...

"No TV to splay your crotch at while blankly staring for 2 weeks straight..."

Bruce rails against the Liberal Elites and their cheap store-bought meals, while his wingnut welfare pays an illegal immigrant to prepare his feast. But wait! Dullard doesn't have the money for a gourmet meal, he's unemployed because he's an intolerant bigot! Or was it because he had hemorrhoids, and people said he was an asshole? Hopefully he'll bring us up to speed in the first panel of tomorrow's strip.

WV: grian; "Them pilgrims didn't have no grian alcohol neither, so that first Thanksgiving musta sucked!"

D Johnston said...

To recap, Mallard is complaining about Thanksgiving, a holiday dedicated to thankfulness.

And I'd just had that irony meter fixed. Damn it Tinsley, you owe me.

Bill the Splut said...

I read a whole big large lot of comic strips, and I just want to point out that ONLY Dullard Failmore felt the need to mention Thanksgiving today. Or does Bruce think that today really is Thanksgiving? It does take him 2 weeks to remember when Veterans Day is, after all.

So, any bets on tomorrow's masterpiece? Will Mallard still be fired, or hired by FOX, or will Bruce "Umm, whut day izzit again, and why Ima wearin' no pants?" Tinny simply forget his 2 weeks of interminable lactose continuity?

D Johnston said...

I predict a few more days of "Media figure I don't like calls me a bigot, the stupid liberal" before he abruptly gets rehired by his old outfit on Friday or Saturday. I can't see Tinsley moving Mallard to a new affiliate, if only because that would mean he'd need to write in new characters and...y'know...effort equals zero.

Factinista said...

What's wrong with cream of mushroom soup?

deepbeep said...

So are you going to take your beliefs to their logical conclusion by promoting organics, farmer's markets, and CSAs? Or can I assume you'll continue to make fun of hippies who like those sorts of things? Oh, that's not a Michael Pollan book you're reading, that's Penthouse.

I don't even think Mallard has many convictions -- he just likes to complain about things. We have enough negativity in the world. Hey, instead of turkey, how about some duck this year? Definitely not organic, but it will be fresh, and already Chinese "drunken" style.

Tog said...

I'm sticking with the theory that Mallard will start blogging for bucks.

It fits in with Batshit's desire to avoid drawing, well, anything (aside from the occasional lousy caricature), as well as Mallard's refusal to seek new employment or fight for his old job.

It would also allow Batshit to try to sweep away some of his self-revelatory baggage (Mr. Jewsworthy the Media-Controlling Jew Who is Jewish, Penis-Chin Chet) but still allow occasional appearances by his fictional sex partners, Chantel and Rush, as Batshit perceives necessary.

Also, Garry Trudeau's already been there, so Batshit feels compelled to go there and pretend he's a pioneer. "ZOMG EVERYONE I'M ON TWITTER NOW!!"

I could be wrong. Maybe Batshit will fantasize some huge teabagger campaign that forces WFDR to rehire Mallard, and everything reverts to normal without any work on Mallard's part. It wouldn't be the first time I've given Batshit too much credit for effort.

Off-topic: Haven't watched "The Simpsons" in ages, but I'd love to see Homer Simpson doing Glenn Beck. (Bart could "help out" with the blackboard.)

WV: "alylum." Oh, so close.

Bill the Splut said...

I think Monday will be "OMG the MIDTERMS Tea Party FTW!!!" with an instant and eternal banishment of the "Dullard fired" arc as non-canon. But oh how I wish that he'd keep beating the Williams horse into dust, just to prove how utterly useless he is, especially to the wingnuts who pay him to scrawl this crap between his binges.

rewinn said...

"...Incessant bitching is all he really has anymore..."

... which makes him fit in with his base nicely.

===

Meanwhile, d'ya think Mallard will endorse the Ronald Reagan position on the START Treaty? .. or will he, as usual, shill for the GOP?

Rootbeer said...

YOU WERE FIRED FROM THE TV STATION

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO

Ducky is Right said...

Then cook your own goddamn dinner, dipshit. This is not a fucking complex problem.

Also, Rootbeer wins a point.

Since when have facts and logic ever stopped the Republicans from shilling for anything, rewinn?