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Tuesday, November 09, 2010

That damned Boss

What's Mallard raving about today?

Getting Fired.

Oh, God. Please don't tease me like this. It's inhumane!

Seriously, WTF is Mallard raving about today? The fact that people do what their boss tells them to do? Richly ironic for an idiot who repeats everything he hears on Fox, without regard to its factual basis.

18 comments:

Tog said...

First, he's baiting us.

Second, it's a story arc...Flying Spaghetti Monster help us all. And it's just as it has to be, coming from Batshit: a prolonged whinge about how he (via Mallard) is a First Amendment martyr because his intolerance isn't tolerated by us intolerant liberals (read: JOOS DAT CONTROL DA MEDIA).

...Just like poor Juan Williams! Who was immediately awarded a contract by FOX Propaganda! ...But not at all like Keith Olbermann, back on the air two days after being suspended without pay for violating the network's selectively-enforced double-super-secret rules! No! See, HE's liberal! It was an act! All part of the conspiracy!

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

So will this be a harrow walpurgisnacht-type experience where Mallard--and, by proxy--Tinsley--sinks as low as he can possibly can and is forced to finally engage in a soul-searing examination of his life, all his myriad sins, and all the people he has wronged, an examination from which he will emerge, half-dead but finally, once and for all, redeemed?

No. It will lead to lame fucking gags about how he was wrongly fired for being politically incorrect or some shit. There will probably be Juan Williams references. They will all be stupid.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

(Unless this means that the strip is finally, mercifully being canceled, in which case, hey, I'll miss all y'all, but nonetheless, HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH. If I recall correctly, the very first MF strips--which my crap-ass hometown rag did indeed run--had him getting fired from some news job, so it would be appropriate.)

Tog said...

On second thought, maybe Batshit's finally been told that the Mr. Noseworthy angle's been played out, and Batshit's actually gearing up for a change. Maybe Mallard's going to work in a newsroom controlled by Kenyans instead of Jews! Oooooo, fresh!

Veterans' Day is coming, Batshit. Hope you didn't forget this time! It's your prime opportunity to pretend you're a patriot who gives a single shit about your country or someone besides yourself!

CW in LA said...

Mallard unemployed? That means all he'll do is sit slouched in his chair watching TV, his bare crotch thrust outward towards the fourth wall. Oh, wait...

Maybe this strip is a flashback?

Toots McGee said...

I think it's supposed to be a joke about Human Resources being flabby and top heavy with bosses, making the simple act of firing someone complicated, only achievable by orders being issued through a multi-layered chain of command.

That's my guess, anyway.

dlauthor said...

Chains of command are socialist! And they're the real racists! And they bleeaaaargh oh god I threw up in my research.

wavydavy said...

Oh, please let it be so!

In what I hope is a good sign, just before reading this I has opened a tab in my browser to today's Bob Herbert column in the NYTimes, which is entitled, "The Impossible Dream".

We can dream, can't we?

rewinn said...

Ironically, when I went to look at the aptly-initialled "MF" on the SeaTimes website, all I got for an image was a red x.

As it happens, it looks like all the comics on some server somewhere are temporarily unavailable ... but when I looked at an alternate site, I saw that the story is that the duck has been fired.

It's a good day; Olbermann is back and the duck is gone - however temporarily.

Would it be too much to ask that the duck's loss of job teaches him something about the plight of real Americans who are suffering under 30 years of Reaganomics?

Rootbeer said...

Assuming that WFDR-TV is staffed as would be typical for a broadcast station in a major metropolitan market (already I've given this more thought than Tinsley ever has), then Arlette is probably an HR Generalist, and her boss is the HR Director, and his boss the VP of Operations, which would make her boss the President.

If you've done something so gravely stupid that you've pissed off the head of the company, then yeah, you deserve to be fired. And to receive the news fourth-hand, at that.

waaaaahbaggers said...

This strip will be tremendously unsettling to Tinshley's fan.

Factinista said...

He'll be at Fox News by the end of the week.

Frank Stone said...

Woooo... the start of a story arc in which Mallard goes looking for a new job... but can't get the time of day because none of the news outlets in town are practicing wingnut welfare... and anyway, their janitorial jobs are all taken... and even Fox never returns his calls... and he spends his last $20 on a bottle of Wild Turkey... and he drinks it too fast and passes out... and he chokes to death on his own vomit...

Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

Tog said...

After even further consideration (and yes, it IS pathetic that I'm wasting brain cells on this), there are so many great possibilities here:

(1) Mallard collects unemployment benefits while bitching hysterically about them;

(2) ZOMG OBAMA DONE IT! ENEMIES LIST!;

(3) Mallard sponges off of Dave, doing menial work at his Chinese-May-Eat-Dog-But-This-Vietnamese-Legal-Immigrant-Only-Eats-HOT-Dogs-Because-He-Is-All-American restaurant. Mallard is almost killed and prepared by the staff, who are, oddly, not as assimilated as Dave;

(4) Following the lead of the canceled "My Cage," Batshit's decided to take it to the web--where he can be the complete asshole he's always dreamed of being, sell merch without middlemen (good luck with THAT), and pretend no liberal never did nothin' for him.

Off-topic: Yesterday, Rush Limbaugh declared pre-existing condition coverage was "welfare." Today, certain people have set out to prove that no one is more completely fucking insane than the equation of "Arizona + teabaggers."

Beef Wellington said...

@waaahbaggers Yep all 3 of them

Ducky is Right said...

Quick! Everyone vote 5 stars on the seattlePI page!

I think this is the first strip, literally in months, that doesn't feature Mallard with the Down Syndrome eyes in every panel.

Guys, it's WAY to soon to be about Juan Williams; it hasn't even been a month yet! This is prolly about Rick Sanchez, who got unjustly fired for have the guts to tell the truth: that the media is run by hook-nosed jews who hate the white man.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

From Tinsley's twitter feed:

Twitter-exclusive scoop from Bruce...look for a big change in Mallard's life on November 9....

Oh boy! He's going to become a drunken hobo! That's an improvement.

Kip W said...

Um. What? Ice cream makes Mallard's butt quake?

He's using it wrong.