What's Mallard raving about today?
"Listen, I don't have to go looking for work like some goddamn schmuck pinko. I'm an experienced neoconservative talking point regurgitator, proven devoid of independent thought while able to still insist that I have it. I will be handed a contract any moment now, and then I will be paid money to whine about how lazy all you welfare queens are, cry about the "liberal" media, and bemoan the death of truthful reporting, personal responsibility, and the American work ethic. ...Look for work? Hilarious!"
Is this stereotypical, Maury Povich style programming still a prominent part of daytime television? Are there not other options, unless you have a dead battery in your remote and you're stuck in your chair? Let's just grant ducky license for one moment to critique the state of television. Does this not sound like the laziest, cliched form of criticism one could possibly shit out onto the comics page? Seriously, this sounds like a joke that Arsenio Hall used in his monologue about twenty years ago. Even if they still feature paternity testing segments on daytime television, to joke about it is played out, worn out, wrung dry of any humor. Bruce Tinsley is a character from a tv show. One of those dim bulbs, convinced of their own intelligence, with no self awareness. "I'm doing a series of strips about my unemployed alter ego. I'll spend a week plucking this string about his politically motivated dismissal because of those darned P.C. police that cause all the ills of right-thinking types like me. Now what? Hmmm, what do unemployed people do? I know, they sit on the couch and watch tv all day! There's another weeks worth of jokes right there. Baby daddy drama. Side effects of prescription drugs. Something about Oprah. Gosh those women love her. It's like a cult! That's gold, right there. Gold! I wonder if they give out Pulitzers for this stuff? Honey, do they give out Pulitzers for these funny drawings I do? Honey?)
Yeah, that Jerry Springer show sure is crazy! I wonder if anyone's made a "Jerry Springer Ate My Balls" World Wide Web page yet? Let me dial into CompuServe and find out.Imagine if Marcia Clark and Johnnie Cochrane end up doing the Menendez brothers trial, too? Judge Ito would be like "what?"...!Hey, if the strip is going to make observations that were stale back in the mid-90s, so am I.
Gee, Mallard, I think we can find something for you to do. It is Thanksgiving in a couple days, after all. Now come over here with this turkey and chicken and don't ask any questions.
Finally! A subject Mallard knows something about: Sitting on your fat ass watching TV.
This might have been funny before the invention of cable and the internet, but now it's just sadly out-of-date ... kind of like Mallard's political views.If you can't find something worth watching on The History Channel, the Travel Channel or the History of Travel Channel, just go to the google, pick a subject, any subject (e.g. Stupid Duck Videos), and hit search ... you'll get plenty of video ... and ... for a real challenge ... written words.
I object to Mallard's claim in the first panel that he does any "thinking."WV: unkwart, roughly the amount of booze Tinshley imbibes before he writes this crap.
Ha ha! It's pretty funny, Bruce doing jokes about unemployment when he's been paid for years to do no work at all!
So in today's pannel Tinsley admits he's either too stipid or too lazy to change the channel.
Wait, one of the nation's biggest problems is terrorism?Really?That explains a lot about conservatives.
I've seen Cheers only in online video snippets. That said, I believe the mailman was a kind of Bruce Tinsley character, no? Because it turns out, he's exactly like that in real life. Which is more amusing than ... what were we discussing again? Oh, Mallard Fillmore. I am setting the bar a little low, I admit.
Post a Comment