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Saturday, December 04, 2010

That damned Update

What's Mallard raving about today?

Holidays, Family Updates.

Apparently bored spewing mindless bile at Democrats and Liberals, Mallard has decided that he needs a wider audience to encompass his hatred and has chosen People who Interact with Other People as his new target.

10 comments:

Tog said...

Hey, remember when Mallard lost his job?

Of course you do. But Forgetty Forgetsalott has apparently let THAT slip his mind (*snark*) too.

Randy said...

@Tog: Even though he couldn't possibly get it off his mind enough to remember Veterans' Day.

James Murton said...

After daytime TV and Christmas letters, I look forward to Mallard's ferocious takedowns of airline food, mothers-in-law and women who take too long getting ready. Take that, liberal something or other!

exanonymous said...

Yeah, I hate it when my friends who were really busy with work, kids, and general life who live a few states away think of me during the Christmas season. It just makes me livid to know that someone somewhere still likes me enough to try to compose a letter telling me how things are even though we never talk face to face anymore.

It makes it AWFULLY damn hard to pretend to be a bitter hermit against the world.

sffan12 said...

Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light: Mallard Fillmore, you stand accused of being a Grinch at Xmas time. Your punishment is to attend this meeting:

http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2010-12-04/

Kip W said...

They're based on the idea that the recipient cares about others. No wonder they don't work on the Tin man or his zombie stand-in.

Frank Stone said...

I was wondering how a perennially hate-filled misanthrope like Bruce Tinsley would know about holiday update letters sent by friends or family, considering that the vile wretchedness he exhibits on a daily basis would seem to preclude the presence in his life of friends or family.

Then the thought occurred to me: Someone, somewhere in the distant past, must have once actually cared enough about him to send him such a letter, considering him to be a friend or a family member.

And then I remembered that this is Bruce Tinsley we're talking about, so the more likely explanation is that he heard about holiday update letters second-hand, and he reflexively despised the concept of caring human interaction (even if it's only in the form of an annual letter), and he was overwhelmed with the desire to destroy it. Hence, these last few days of impotent, pathetic sniping masquerading as social satire.

He really is only deserving of pity, isn't he?

ajm said...

And note Tinsley's writing about "holiday," NOT "Christmas" update letters. The PC Police have finally brainwashed him, ladies and gentlemen!!! Beware!!!!!!!

Tog said...

Batshit: "Some people do something I don't! Therefore it's stupid and they're idiots! (addresses self in mirror) EXCEPTIONALISM!!"

rewinn said...

Why does Mallard Fillmore make war on Christmas?