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Saturday, February 26, 2011

That damned Warning

What's Mallard raving about today?

The weather.

Warning: Mallard Fillmore is so stupid that he has taken the phrase "Global Warming" to mean, quite literally, that it will never be cold anywhere on Earth, ever again.

Warning: Mallard Fillmore may be the most stupid waterfowl in History.

Warning: If not actually stupid, Mallard is even more dangerous, because he is being a willfully ignorant idiot.


Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

You're actually getting some sort of political thing out of this? All I'm getting is "weather sure happens sometimes. Where's the bottle?"

WV: "chopmas." Gosh--I wish it could be Chopmas every day!

Factinista said...

So it's been a while since Mallard's been job-hunting. He's just going to be unemployed forever, isn't he?

dlauthor said...

It's possible, even likely, that he's building up to "it sure snowed a lot, so global warming stupid liberals blaaaarhaar amirite?" But it could take days and days of "I don't like the snow" to get there.

Meanwhile, world-changing events continue to happen, but that's all about brown people we didn't even bomb, so Tinshley doesn't want to talk about it.

exanonymous said...

Yeah, this one I just read the whole "weather reporters these days, amirite?" due to the extreme treatment of what is relatively normal weather.

Not that there isn't danger from blizzards, but snow has been happening for many centuries now, and we're in the 21st now.

Anonymous said...

In anticipation of where the duck is heading:
"During the Northern Hemisphere winter of 2010-2011, unusually cold temperatures and heavy snowstorms plagued North America and Europe, while conditions were unusually warm farther north. Now the U.S. National Snow and Ice Data Center (NSIDC) has reported that Arctic sea ice was at its lowest extent ever recorded for January (since satellite records began)."
This link includes an explanation why, from NASA.
Greenland has been relatively warm as also. A similar weather pattern existed last year, while areas to the far North were much warmer than normal. Remember the lack of snow at the Winter Olympics in Canada? Meanwhile, the VA AG was stupid enough to think that extra snow in Richmond was a sign that global warming doesn't exist.

rewinn said...

The revelation that it snows in winter is scarcely as surprising or newsworthy as

* Republican proposals to cut research funding threatens America's scientific preeminence

* Poland's Solidarity Union sends a letter of support to Wisconsin workers

* Ronald Reagan declares Union Membership Is A Basic Right

Kip W said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kip W said...

Comment deleted and reposted because part of the WV ended up stuck in the comment. And then I got a fork through my head while my foot was stuck in a trash can while I tried to walk under a ladder with a cake balanced on top of it. Anyway:

"Forensic scientists revealed that the duck had been dead for months, mummified in front of his television set with his eyes inexplicably open. Neighbors became concerned after several weeks in which the apartment complex's trash can was not full of empty gin bottles."

There. See? Totally worth it.

Kaitlyn said...

Weather happens, but when it's snow in winter and it didn't do anything new (like affect football), then shut up. I demand unoriginal *conservative* whines, dammit!

Now a tornado in winter! That's just made for jokes, mostly so you won't cry because those are really scary, especially in winter. That shit needs a viewer discretion warning.

Nick said...

*Soros funded lefty 'Think Progress' invoking Reagan to push pro-union agenda. With the extreme irony (apparently lost on Think Progress) Reagan was one of the greatest union-busters in modern times. See: PATCO.

*I see that the President finally has his priorities in order.

*The DOJ and FBI continue to "evaluate evidence" in the latest Pirate Attack. I guess 4 dead Americans and having a US navel vessel attacked by an RPG isn't enough.

If we put a battleship offshore and used 16' guns to wipe out that town on the coast where the Somalis operate out of -- there would be no more piracy.

Unfortunately BO doesn't have the guts to order that.

DiR said...

Nick is right. What's a war crime or two in the name of stopping a few street gangs?

Also, we don't have any battleships with 16" guns in active service. I won't waste time explaining why.

Tog said...

Nickie the Littlest Internet Tuff Guy sez: "Four ded Merikans?! Send in starship troopers and nook them all! Surge! Surge! W'ell mops it up in couple weeks, juss liek Irak! ...Me? Oh I'd tottaly join Marinez, but I has butt boils. but we can spare a few thousand soljers to beet doun these not-whites! I gotta go, Mommy's calling me"

In other funnies: "Frazz" mentioned global warming in a non-derisive fashion and the comments exploded with lies, willful ignorance, trolling, and other assorted furious teabagging.

One commenter: "DON'T get political on us please, I'd hate to have to write this strip off as another ranter."

Dude, this is "Frazz" we're talking about, a collection of endlessly-lecturing Mary Sues and herp-a-derp strawmen to make Tinsley gnash his teeth in envy. If you have eaten a potato chip or sat down longer than three minutes in the past five years, LOL UR HEART ASPLODE SOON OBESITY. It's even more obnoxious than the occasional self-righteous veganism of "Bizarro." Go run.

dlauthor said...

Oh, look. Nickyrast forgot to check "Anonymous" again. Must have been fantasizing about Bieber's new haircut in addition to murdering black people en masse.

rewinn said...

Hey @Nick - what town is that? Do you have any idea how long the Somali coast is, and how many towns are there?

Do you have any idea how many hostages your plan would slaughter --- or do you have some idea about 16" shells blowing up only bad guys, and not hostages?

Reality is not a video game. Solving tough problems like piracy requires a firm grounding in facts. Maybe it's time for an international effort to wipe out piracy, but that's require a *lot* of ground troops. What a pity you and your kind p1ssed away our armed forces in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Go back to your xbox and leave the hard thinking to the grownups!

Neo Tuxedo said...

Do you have any idea how many hostages your plan would slaughter --- or do you have some idea about 16" shells blowing up only bad guys, and not hostages?

When he heard the lyric in "War Again" about "Don't ya know that the smart bombs are so clever / They only kill bad people", he didn't realize Danny Elfman was being ironic.

WV: dingshen, Chinese god of drunken artists with no talent who spout the words of the ruling class and convince themselves this makes them bold rebels.

Tog said...

I'll make a deal with Nickie the Littlest Internet Tough Guy. I'm certain more than four murders occurred last year in his hometown. So:

If he provides proof of residence and promises to remain in the area, I will personally petition local government, on his behalf, to use all available forces to level the entire town, in order to avenge said murders and reduce crime.

Your ball, Nickie.

WV: pepipsi. Tinsley attempts to order a soft drink at two in the afternoon, just to break the monotony.

David in NYC said...

Guys, didn't you notice -- Nicky wants us to use those battleships with 16' (that's sixteen-foot) guns. 16" guns are for pussies, not tough guys like him.

The fact that there never has been a ship with 16' guns is totally irrelevant to his argument -- which is that he has more guts than the President. He demonstrates that by actually attaching a name to this comment.

Is it something in the water? Congenital brain disease? What the hell is wrong with these morons?

Anonymous said...

Mallard, like most Americans, just isn't smart enough to realize that global warming also means global cooling. Obviously, when things get warmer and warmer, they cool down. This is peer-reviewed science. So buy more mercury-rich light bulbs and save the polar bears!

Hammersmith is Behind You said...