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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Those damned Buzz-Killers

What's Mallard raving about today?


For those of you who have forgotten, what the study actually says is this: "...the authors followed more than 2,300 undergraduates at two dozen universities, and concluded that 45 percent 'demonstrated no significant gains in critical thinking, analytical reasoning, and written communications during the first two years of college."

Mallard sees no irony in the fact that he lacks the necessary critical thinking and analytical reasoning to actually comprehend the study to which he refers.

And, while lying about the study, Mallard can't even quote the percentage right (36% vs. 45%) day after chastising a child for mis-spelling a word in an Email.

Mallard Fillmore: Less intelligent than a 5th grader, with less self-awareness, and delusions of grandeur.


Tog said...

Initial Response: "Wait, Batshit's actually suggesting that a college education is wholly without value? Seriously?"

Second Response: "Oh, Batshit's just blathering about that study he doesn't/can't understand. AGAIN."

...Look, Batshit, we know you troll here; your persecution complex demands it. You've had your mistakes regarding this study clearly explained to you--repeatedly. Defiantly clinging to bullshit isn't "speaking truth to power," it's more like "being a f***ng fool."

Final Response: "Even IF everything Batshit cites in this strip were true, his own strawman points out that more than half of students are benefiting from their free-market investment. So why IS he making noise about this again? Oh, right: so he can draw another educator going HURP HURP DERP. Stay classy, you stupid drunk."

Kip W said...

Eh. 36% was the four-year figure, and 45% was the two-year figure. I'll give Tin Eye credit for reading the first couple of paragraphs of a news item.

The real story here is that (shock! sensation!) in college, like everywhere else, some students do better than others. Just being at college is not a magic elixir. You have to do well. Get a good GPA you can point to.

I started off with a handicap this time around, getting a B in my first class. It's going to take a while to work that off.

rewinn said...

On the plus side: today's "comic" is multi-panels, placing it marginally ahead of the single-panel garbage of the last few Sunday strips.

On the minus side:
* it's still a 3-panel joke, suitable perhaps for a daily "comic" but here merely stretched out to fill space
* the "artwork" would be o.k. in middle school
* the concept is a lie. The book "Academically Adrift" points to a real problem - American college education is vastly more expensive than that in any other college - but the issue is not the students - it's that fact that we (unlike every other advanced nation) tie college attendance to future earning potential, NOT to interest or ability in actually mastering a subject.

When you come out of college saddled with $70,000 in student loans, you are:
(A) in America, not Europe, and
(B) interested only in paying off that debt (which BTW is almost impossible to discharge in bankruptcy). Knowing this, you are not going to study subjects you care about or are good at - you are going to punch your ticket in courses that will get you a job.

If you are 2 years into college and discover you'd rather be a plumber --- a perfectly good occupation and very valuable --- Only In America must you waste your time finishing your B.A./B.S. because your student loans compel you to get that degree or face penury.

There's a scandal all right, but the reichwing doesn't understand it.

Bill the Splut said...

Yesterday: "High school students are stupid!"

Today: "College students are stupid!"

Tomorrow: "Kindergarten students are stupid! When I was in kindergarten at age 12, I ate a whole box of Crayola 64, took a shit on some Bristol board, told the Reverend Moon it was called 'GAY LIBRULS IS FAGS!' and he's been paying for my shits ever since! So, I AM BETTER THAN A KINDERGARTENER!"

Part 1,354 in Booze's series "I hate the uneducated, I hate the educated, I hate educators, because...not because I'm a bile-filled, bitter old drunk worth only wingnut welfare, that's for sure!"

WV: Scepe, the mouthwash Bruce uses to hide the beer breath. He swallows it.

Steve-O said...

36% is just about the size of the Republican base that would vote for Sarah Palin if she ate a baby on live TV. Coincidence? I think not.

Rootbeer said...

In between this strip and the last strip about how "college kids don't learn anything", Bruce Tinsley penned a strip about how much respect he had for a retiring professor at his own alma mater, Bellarmine.

He got the numbers wrong in that one, too.

But hey, maybe it's College's fault that he's innumerate and can't maintain a consistent or coherent point of view.