Project Wonderful Banner

Sunday, May 01, 2011

That damned Movie

What's Mallard raving about today?

Movies.

Hey, Mallard Fillmore hates these modern movies! Wow, how surprising.

We all know Mallard hasn't enjoyed a movie since Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. Unless, of course, you imagine he was one of the 5 people who saw Atlas Shrugged, Part 1.

But, at least at the Movies, Mallard's crotch is obscured by his feet.

16 comments:

Tog said...

Aw, how sweet...Tinsley's eyes are all stingy and watery over the free market's complete and utter rejection of Atlas Shrugged Pt 1, so he has to pretend everything else in theaters is (also) crap.

But wait...no one else is in the theater. Are they actually watching Ayn Rand's Butthurt Billionaires Go Nutzoid? Or was drawing other patrons just too much work for poor Batshit?

Note: Chantel paid for the tickets, popcorn, and drinks, while the duck shat on the seats because the theater's janitorial staff are "all moochers and leeches."

(After threatening to go Galt/take his ball and go home, the whiny director of Asshrugpt1 was informed he WILL be making the rest of the trilogy, and subsequently released a statement to that effect. We can only hope the corporate cultists who keep him in a headlock don't change their minds, because the public reaction to Part 3, if accurate to the book, would give me a positively seismic orgasm.)

Iron Dragon said...

The whole 'go Galt' concept always amused me, if only because of how silly it is in context. If the billionaires go on strike, they simply get their roles filled by someone else. Fear the janitors and trash collectors going on strike, fear the people who often get spit on because it is their sweat and toil that keep a country going and keep infrastructure sound.

DiR said...

I have $50 that says neither of those two have touched a game made in the past 20 years. Snood/peggle types don't count.

More free-market types bitching about the results of a free market, eh? Boy, that's not at all tiresome.

Neo Tuxedo said...

Before I give my own comments (which will take some time to organize), I need to remind TOGGG! that, while Tinny probably is all teary over the fail of Telemachus Sneezed Part 1, this strip can only be about that if he let himself sense the fail in the wind.

the public reaction to Part 3, if accurate to the book, would give me a positively seismic orgasm.

I assume you mean the public reaction to a book-accurate Part 3, not the reaction to Part 3 being the way the characters in the book react to John Galt's speech.

ajm said...

So Tinsley finds the free-market pop culture stupid, and anything better than that... elitist. Be sure to invite him to your next party!

Kip W said...

Tinsley's witing for the movie to be synopsized on the bottom of a beer glass.

rewinn said...

I was gonna comment on the laziness of today's "comic" - a single panel, short-text "Life sucks!" snoozer. Or maybe suggest that if Mallard wants to see a good movie, he should ask Chantel to sneak him into something not based on a videogame!. I mean, seriously! 50% of everything is below average, but we live in an age of some really great movies! but you have to want to go to them.

Instead, I followed @NeoTuxedo's link to the Angry Flower and had about ten times as much entertainment than in the entire last year of Mallard Fillmore. This is bad news: another quality comic to follow! D@mn You NeoTuxedo !!!!

BTW the Galt quote in the last panel of the Flower cartoon wonderfully demonstrates how out-of-touch modern "conservatives" are with basic intellectual processes. It is simply false that "the man at the top of the intellectual pyramid" gets no value from those "below" him. Intellect doesn't work that way; there may be a few lonely geniuses who craft concepts of amazing originality, power and value all on their lonesome ... but they are the minority. Einstein, Hawking et cetera all profit (...if I may use that word ...) from talking things over with the students and peers. Without peer review, even the biggest brain goes astray. There are multiple studies that indicate that the quality of decisionmaking depends more on the quality of the teamwork between decisionmakers thanit does upon the sheer brainpower of any individual member of the team. John Galt gets it wrong because he refused to work with others. Pity him!

===

But yeah I do hope and pray they make the 3rd movie in the most literal way. Galt's speech will kill libertarianism in our lifetime!

rewinn said...

BTW four movies Chantel could've gone to see
*Inception
*The Adjustment Bureau
*Limitless
*The Source Code

I'll admit, I didn't spend 40-80 hours "researching" these, but then, I don't want to kill my liver.

Taquelli said...

I'd be more concerned at how shootily constructed those seats are, Mallard. Aren't you concerned that the seat you choose is half the width of the one next to it? Or that one arm on Chantel's chair is eight inches higher than the other. Maybe the movies in this theater suck because they are all demo reels from 1995, judging by the quality of this place.

Also, a movie based on a video game hasn't come out in over six months, the last I recall being Prince of Persia. So he's official complaining about nothing.

deepbeep said...

It appears they're strapped into a roller coaster, and have "popcorn" bowls filled with black liquid. Remember, kids, when doing acid you need a friend around who's sober.

Frank Stone said...

You should've waited for the book to come out, eh, Mallard? And what, pray tell, would you have done with it? We all know you only read books from Rush, Glenn, and Ann. (I suspect Billo's books are too stupid even for you.)

Tog said...

There's an older Angry Flower strip that depicts the aftermath of the great Shruggening--Atlas Shrugged 2: One Hour Later, starring all the characters you know and love with a cameo by Ayn Almighty herself.

http://www.angryflower.com/atlass.gif

One of the Rand faithful wrote in to Notley to insist that yes, Dagny Taggart and company would till the soil all by they lonesomes, really really, but pfffffthahahahahahahahaha

Kip W said...

I've always been a big fan of that Ed the Angry Flower strip about the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, even though it used the idea I always thought I'd use one day, about Galt's Gulch foundering over who'd do the crap work. Such a complete, yet economical job — what could be more opposite of Rand's tedious tramping over every square inch of a plot, explaining it every few pages, and repeating every bit of explanation yet again in a stultifying peroration of self-righteousness?

Rootbeer said...

"And what's the deal with those giant tubs of OPCOR at the movies, right? How about you sell me a normal-sized portion, and don't charge me 23 dollars?

"And who needs that much soda? Is that why the floors are so sticky?

"Hey thanks everybody, my name is Hacky Standup Comic from 1982, I'll be appearing here at the Laff Machine twice a night every day this week. Stick around, 'Gallagher Too' is up next."

rewinn said...

Heh. I just spent the afternoon tilling the soil for a little garden. Doing this for a living? not a chance ... farming is very very hard work!

Although I have had long talks with Libertarians who insist they don't need the FDA because they can inspect their own meat, etc. I just hope their kids are resistent to trichenosis - having sociopathic parents shouldn't be a death sentence!

Lancelot Link said...

I would like to complain in the strongest possible terms about this post.
Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! is way to good for the likes of Tinsley. He would be more likely whacking off to The Green Berets.