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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

That damned Congrats

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama

Once again Mallard's use of the English language (I am forced to use the phrase "English language" in its loosest possible sense in order to account for Mallard Fillmore) makes it hard to discern what the hell is going on in his fevered imagination.

But I choose to believe that "it seems like longer" is a reference to the ever-increasing length of President Obama's penis chin.


GeoX said...

WAIT A SECOND. Did Tinsley just admit that his strip is so incredibly tedious that any amount of time paying attention to it feels much, much longer than it is? Huh. In vino veritas, presumably.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. A whole week of Tinsley jacking off over how super awesomez he is? Count me the fuck OUT.

exanonymous said...


I guess David Letterman didn't take the bait so now he has to make up comments from the President to boost his self-importance?

NLC said...

If Charles Schulz had studied under Tinsley:

Charlie Brown: Wow, 49 years today!
Linus: Yeah, amazing how much we've affected culture and stuff.

Schoeder: Wow, 49 years today!
Lucy: Yeah, I love how much we've affected culture and stuff.

Woodstock: ''' ''' '''''''!
Snoopy: Yeah, it's kinda groovy how much we've affected culture and stuff.

Marcie: Sir, 49 years today!
Peppermint Pattie: Yeah, it's neat how much we've affected culture and stuff.

Shermy: You know, 49 years today!
5: Yeah, it's neat how much we've affected culture and stuff. And, good grief, can you believe the Post Office caused my dad to give me this stupid name.

Mike said...

Isn't it kind of arrogant for Tinsley to assume that Obama actually cares what he says about him? Does he think that Obama reads MF and says "Dang! Tinsley zinged me again!"?

The only thing slightly amusing about this is that Tinsley is the only one celebrating 15 years of duck shit.

Anthony said...

The "best" of Mallard, chosen by Tinsley.

I think this may warrant a post in itself.

Bill the Splut said...

Wow, that's the BEST of Mallard? The art has actually gone downhill in 15 years.

Of particular note is the strip making fun of Geraldo Rivera...2 weeks after 9/11. Way to be topical, Tinny.

WV: gatopu. Spamish for cat vomit, which is infinitely more entertaining to look at than a Mallard scrawl.

wavydavy said...

*** 15 years of duck shit ***

Mike, FTW.

WV: scrodu. A duck's scrotum.

Robert said...

Tomorrow: Mallard receives congratulations from Jesus Christ.

rewinn said...

15th Anniversary Gifts
(Traditional): Crystal
(Modern): Watches

This "15th Anniversary Celebration" is King Features giving Mallard a gold watch.

Cuz the way things are going, there's not gonna be a 20th.


Kudos on "15 Years of Duck Shit" and also to the link which should have been named "OMG Can you BELIEVE this is the Best OF Mallard Fillmore's 15 Years of Duck Shit?"

Robert said...

Just checked out the "Best of Mallard". Good to see Tinsley wasn't always ripping off the image of Daffy Duck, as he was originally ripping off the image of Opus.

Also, the tirade against OSHA? Seriously? Guess we need to return to pre-Upton Sinclair working conditions, as to not "annoy" construction contractors and fatory owners.

Michael said...

Those are his "most acclaimed" cartoons? You've got to be kidding.

WV: pretalc. The flight to Thailand.

GeoX said...

You know, if I were enough of a glutton for punishment to sift through Mallard's complete archives, I'll bet I could come up with a dozen or so cartoons that don't suck. Tinsley himself was able to come up with zero. I guess that's the problem--he fails to recognize that his only decent comics are non-strident, non-hateful, apolitical ones that actually have punchlines. If he came to recognize this fact...well, he'd suck a lot less. Fortunately for the future of this blog, however, I can't see that happening.

Jazzbumpa said...

XL-ent comentary, Team.

A "best"(?!?) of Blallard retrospective is like reminiscing about my most memorable razor cuts, contusions, abrasions and hemorrhoids.

Factinista said...

Why does that drawing of Bono in the June 8, 2006 comic look like an old woman?

dlauthor said...

OK, so we know that Tinshley's previous brilliant/drunken idea was to make a comic strip starring a giant nose. And the early versions of Dullard show that he didn't let go of that idea easily or with any grace (I know, shock shock horror horror). And then there's a character named Noseworthy.

Which leaves the obvious question: what the hell happened to him when he was a kid to foster that particular hangup?

Anonymous said...

$20 says Obama couldn't identify a Ducky strip if you pointed it out for him.

Squid Vicious said...

I see that Tinshley hasn't reserved his penis chin for Obama alone. It would seem that he has graced Geraldo Rivera with a similarly fleshy appendage.

Mike said...

Squid, thats an unfair bet. Tinsely has no imagination or true love for the art. He's a hack, and not even a good one. If he were a good one I might actually think "hmmmmm: about his ....contributions, rather than "Meh".

Johaely said...

Some of those were annoying, other stupid and others pasable, but the Geraldo Rivera its just...i need brain bleach, that just nightmare fodder.

GeoX said...

Anyway, if we're all celebrating Mallard's fifteenth, I would like to highlight this strip. I know Tinsley's gone off the deep end before, but this truly may be the ne plus ultra--a bizarre, seemingly unmotivated rant against the police. I assume he must've been feeling bitter after a drunk driving arrest, but still--CRIKEY.

Neo Tuxedo said...

@dlauthor: I'm pretty sure it's his way of Jew-baiting without being as blatant about it as Mel Gibson.

Mike said...


I didn't think IO could have a lower opinion of MF until now. What mazes me is that no editor said "WTF?" (that I've heard of, yet).

Who syndicates MF? King Feartures? Man, they need better editorts. Jeez, that was nothing more than a rant of "I don't like cops because they busted me for drunk driving/ disordly or whatever it was. MF's continued existance is an insult to all sentient life.

Mike said...

Apparently I need editors, too. Apologies for the typos, folks.

Anonymous said...

QUESTION: Bruce, I enjoy your sense of humor quite a bit.

I was wondering, why do cartoonist's like you catch so much flak and the guy who produces Doonsbury never receives 1% of the questions, and comments from the press and media?

Do you think there is that much liberal-media bias?


BRUCE TINSLEY: I think the president was exactly right at the White House Correspondents' Dinner when he addressed the assembled media with, "Most of you have covered me, and all of you voted for me." I hope liberals aren't gonna call our presidebt a liar.

Anonymous said...

QUESTION: Bruce, is it possible that you catch more flak than Trudeau because he's actually funny? And that he can really draw?

Phancy, Bloomington

BRUCE TINSLEY: Anything's possible, even your conjecture that Trudeau is actually funny, and can really draw.

GeoX said...

Okay, I officially have NO idea if those last two comments are meant to be pro-MF or not. If they are, then someone's doing TOO good a job at imitating The Tinz's rhetorical, um, style.

CW in LA said...

Clearly an impostor: A Mallardophile would never call Obama "OUR president".

WV: chlyd - a rash sometimes occurring in an alcoholic duck's, shall we say, Private Area.

Factinista said...

It's real.

Incidentally, while searching for those, I found a press release on King Features' website:

"To commemorate the strip’s 15th anniversary, creator Bruce Tinsley developed a special series running June 1 through June 10, featuring “tributes” from some of Washington’s liberal elite, including President Obama, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Bill Clinton."

Hoo boy.

GeoX said...

Holy mother of god. There's way too much that one could say about that little chat, but here's a good part:

I've never encountered censorship, because, unlike the left I understand that only the government can commit censorship.

Yes. The Left™ doesn't understand what "censorship" means.

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exanonymous said...

Okay, that interview was funnier than the entire previous 15 years run of Mallard Fillmore strips even when they were unintentionally funny.

To paraphrase:
Liberals have trouble making friends with conservatives. I have no idea why. Watch me turn my wife into a straw man!

Bloomington: They've got the campus community and support, and they've got people who live there who oddly think that if the liberal university just packed up and left, it would be a better town. Which is pretty par for course for the conservative party members who think a majority is achieved with fewer people.

Mike said...

QUESTION: Have you considered doing a humorous cartoon strip?

Kevin Haggerty, Bloomington

BRUCE TINSLEY: On occasion, but you know us conservatives; I'm always just feeling way too mean-spirited intolerant, and all of those other things....

The better question would have been "will you ever do a humorous strip?". I've been pretty sure about the intolerant, mean spirited part.

Kyle said...

Having seen that Q & A and the bizarre "fat police officers" strip in the same week lowered my opinion of Tinsley from "hacky grump" to "outright scumbag." I'm sure in his glib worldview it *is* impossible for right wingers and liberals to be friends, but from seeing those tidbits I would surmise that has more to do with his disposition than politics. I know I have many right leaning friends and I'd guess I'm more the rule than the exception.

Michael said...

You may be right, Kyle. The fact that he turned his wife into a strawman, as exanonymous said, is even more revealing when you consider this and this. Like DaveyK said in the 2009 Golden Ellipses, how special Mrs. Mallard must feel.