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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Those damned Candidates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Conservatives.

Either that, or they are not running against radicals that are on the extreme edge of their party, which forces them to appeal to the lunatic fringe of the party and claim the mantle of idealogical purity.

20 comments:

Tog said...

"HAW! HAW! GET IT? DON'T ASK DON'T TELL IS, LIKE, HOMOS! HE'S CALLIN' YOU LIBERALS HOMOS! HAW! HAW! ...Oh, shit, I'm late fer church! Jesus loves!!"

exanonymous said...

Since it is the primaries in most places, it would be pretty odd for people campaigning against each other to claim to be from the opposite party.

And while Ducky is busy looking smug, maybe he should realize that all these "conservatives" are in name only. Any liberals or progressives are in "don't ask don't tell" because it's more important to focus on the issues and be flexible to handle the specific economy of the area they're running than it is to claim a point on the political spectrum.

And Don't Ask Don't Tell is just hilarious! It's always funny when someone gets harassed in the army and can't report it because they'd reveal they were gay and get kicked out.

Iron Dragon said...

I'm just trying to figure out why being more conservative or liberal would matter all that much. I mean a more liberal candidate might be preferable to me except that liberal is a somewhat vague term aside from denoting 'liberal-conservative' as we don't have a clear axis for it. If we're talking two candidates some might vote for the one listed as more 'liberal' the others the one who is more 'conservative'

But I figured that most conservatives are smart enough to not simply follow the dog whistle of "I'm more conservative than you!"

Ducky is Right said...

What?

doubleyou-tee-eff said...

I agree with Ducky is Right.

JE said...

But I figured that most conservatives are smart enough to not simply follow the dog whistle of "I'm more conservative than you!"

If only that were true...

Steve-O said...

Maybe Bruce has been drunk the last twenty years while the right-wing has been busy turning the word "liberal" into some sort of curse word. What's that you say? He HAS been drunk the last twenty years? Okay, nevermind.

Rootbeer said...

This works if the meaning of "conservative" is "makes television sets taller and narrower."

It's cute that Tinsley believes a candidate telling you how conservative they are is equivalent to a candidate actually being conservative.

It's also cute that Tinsley finds it so important to illustrate that there are female conservatives and black conservatives. At least in the fictional Mallardverse.

dlauthor said...

You know, Tinshley, if you're going to make veiled "libs r fagz" jokes in your strip, you might want to pick a name other than "Mary" for your conservative politician. Just sayin'.

Anyway, the rule for conservatives now would appear to be "don't ask! he's just carrying my bags!"

Toots McGee said...

This conservative/liberal labelling frenzy has become one of the most infuriating aspects of political campaigns in my lifetime. It's empty, shallow, pandering and downright moronic. If you are merely pointing out that the label "conservative" plays well in political campaigns and self-identifying as a conservative plays well while the label "liberal" has been relegated to an attack word, well then duh. But Brucie, if you think it's some badge of honor that "conservatives" throw the label around with abandon proving that this supposed war of ideologies has been won, then congratulations, you are officially a moron. (Well, okay, an even bigger moron that had been officically determined previous to today.)

Maybe an argument like the one I pose is what those pinko commie professors injected into my head when I received my completely useless college education. You know, academia where you have to define your terms, show your work, argue your positions and not just scream words at people until you're blue in the face. You know, that whole outdated scheme that's been exposed for the indoctrination sham that it is. So reject my assertion if you just "know" what's right and you will expect "conservatives" to defend you against the dark forces of knowledge and reason.

And if you want to get down to cynical brass tacks, how about this for a black and white, gut level, knee jerk truism: I am very unlikely to be voting for any candidate who uses an ad to say nothing more than they are "conservative" and will certainly not do so if they say they are "more conservative" that another candidate nor will I vote for them if they criticise an opponent for simply being "liberal" or "a liberal". This is not really based on my ideological position, but on my resentment of and refusal to elect those who troll for the moron vote.

Kip W said...

Daffynitions: 'Conservative' - reactionary who wants to take us back to an imaginary golden age when everybody knew their place and the trains ran on time. 'Liberal' - (1) Anybody not 'conservative' (2) Anybody the 'conservative' wants to disparage (see: 20-year campaign to make 'liberal' a dirty word).

Anonymous said...

Wonder what the Duck will say about Kagan? She's defended indefinite detention without trial, so he can't say she's coddling terrorists. She's willing to dispense with the First Amendment for a wide variety of reasons, which he'd presumably also applaud. He'll probably oppose her anyway, just to be consistent.

Factinista said...

He'll just say she's a radical, like everyone else has. After all, if these people don't have anything remotely substantive to go on, they can just use one of their classic scare-words.

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

Tinsley, despite intending to call liberals gay, unintentionally stumbled upon a point: Many liberals, like Obama, and Hillary Clinton, support highly questionable ideas. Both of the above support censorship, and the myth that violent media cause real violence, and the former has a highly dubious view of gays, being an opponent of gay marriage, and, honestly, being a thinly-veiled homophobe. Liberals possessing these conservative values distort the important messages by mixing them with such idiocy.

Word Verification: Dited, short for indicted, as Tinsley should be for drunk driving, and libel.

David B said...

What will Mallard say about Kagan? Who knows—by then it’ll be a month and a half from now, so whatever he says will be hopelessly out of date.

rewinn said...

The fun thing: when liberals run on the issue and don't pretend to be Republican-lite, they tend to win.

For evidence, I offer that the Dems that lost in VA and NJ tried to hide their liberalness and the voters figured, "Why bother?" while on the same day blatantly populatist leftists two races (one was in CA and I forget where the other was.) The labels "liberal" and "conservative" have lost all value except as labels; if you can focus on the content, the American public is much more liberal than our corporate media claims.

dlauthor said...

Tinshley's knack for timing strikes again!

Seriously, for all his drunken failings, he's really good at knowing what upturned rake will be waiting where to whack him in the face two or three weeks after he scrawls a particular strip.

exanonymous said...

Wow, the Tinsley:sociopath sounds less like a liberal and more like a someone trying to stir up liberals.

Neither Obama nor Hilary are liberals. Most liberals know this.

Kaitlyn said...

I thought the people on the TV were liberal candidates.

I hate living in the south during elections.

The primaries were hilarious in '06 - the other Rethugs attacked Bob Corker, but once he got the nom, they all supported him.

Meanwhile, the horrible democratic candidate had to out-conservative Corker because he was a Democrat and black. And terrible.

But I remember an attack ad that said Ford supported gay marriage. Yay, sez me! How brave.

Within a week, Ford had an ad up where there was a church in the background, family values blah blah blah.

That being said...

WHAT

THE

DUCK

Kaitlyn said...

About Mother's Day - I can't believe he forgot. Even if his mom is dead, he has kids, right?

And mother's day is a "perfect" chance to talk about how "lucky" we were not to be aborted and how evil Dr. George Tiller was. (May he rest in peace.)

Did he mention Father's Day last year? Wasn't his dad a veteran? Beat that dead horse - family values and "support" for the military!