What's Mallard raving about today?
The Python Challenge was largely funded by private sponsors, so what didn't the private sector make it a success?
Sunday: I can't even tell what Tinsley's on about here. Is he suggesting that we aren't killing enough snakes, or complaining that we aren't killing enough poor people? Or both?I know he didn't mean to suggest the War on Drugs is an expensive futility with better alternatives, but I thank him for doing so anyway.
I think he's saying that trying to deal with problems is pointless, and that no one should ever try. Just sit in front of your TV with no pants on, b!tching about stuff.
Was I the only one hoping for one more panel with just the snake with a duck sized lump in the middle?
Ho-lee crap. Mallard just said in so many words that the War on Drugs™ is a ridiculous and futile undertaking.Better start backtracking and "clarifying" right quick, ducky, before Joe Arpaio comes to your house and punches the shit out of you and then tears up your Ronald Reagan Fan Club card.
And now he implied that we need more regulation of sushi bars. What the duck?
Sushi, Mallard? Seriously? Why are you even reporting on that? Isn't sushi something that's only eaten by limp-wristed snooty-face elitist libtards and dirty foreigners? Why would you care if they're not getting what they're paying for?The makers of Budweiser being sued for allegedly watering down their beers and misrepresenting the alcohol content -- now, THAT'S a story!(BTW, someone suffered a mix-up: In the first panel, Mallard is referencing his laptop, but in the third panel, he's reading from a sheaf of papers. So is he filing his report from a TV studio or talking to an imaginary audience in his apartment? And does he even know the difference?)
MONDAYBetter not look into it too closely, Mallard, or they'll find that you're a relabeled Emetic Bird.
TUESDAY: Mallard Fillmore predicts that a few years from now, Paul Ryan will be wearing a beige wig and waiting on tables.You can tell it's him because the food is mislabelled and the price doesn't make sense. ("tax plan would cut the top rate to 25 percent -- a 15-point reduction for income above $450,00 -- but somehow it would also collect the same amount of revenue as the president's current policy. Quick math: If you cut tax rates for the top 0.1 percent in half, the only way to make the same amount of money is (a) to practically wipe out all of their tax advantages or (b) to raise taxes disproportionately on the bottom 99.9 percent.")
I came up with a perfect phrase to describe what Tinshley's doing this week, then googled it before posting here and found there were already two pages of unique results for "beating a stillborn horse". You're welcome.
WANKSDAYAt least this was a leetle bit connected to the "topic".
Oh, look -- Bruce remembered that he learned the word "zeitgeist" (even if he didn't quite remember what it meant). Now if only he would end the suspense and tell us how the mislabeling of fish is all Obama's fault. America must know The Truth!!
TURDSDAYI'm not sure whether today's "point" is one he necessarily wants to be making.
So, basically, this week is "companies that supply food are con-men, and will do everything in their power to increase profits."Does Bruce realize that's an anti-business thing to say? He's becoming a damn LIBERUL!Next thing you know, he'll be suggesting there should be more government oversight and enforcement!
Oh. Right. Horsemeat. Yeah. Because that was a thing. A few weeks ago. Don't worry, Bruce -- I'm sure that someday something you're outraged about will still be in the news by the time your strip about it sees print. Or maybe you'll win the lottery.
Speak for yourself, Frank Stone! I'm still punching holes in my walls in inchoate rage over Mrs Obama's hairdo!
FRIDAYAnd Tinsley finds a lame way to sort of tie it in with something vaguely recent. I guess any landing you can crawl away from is a good landing.The fact that he doesn't even draw the duck's neck any more — or much of anything below the top 2/3 of his beak — shows just how much effort he's putting in.
FRIDAY- A)Yes, it was the media who was telling stories about how the sequester could be disastrous- not both sides of the political aisle.B)When you recognize you are lame, and admit you are lame, pointing out that someone else is lame DOESN'T make you any less lame.SATURDAY- But is the fish mislabeled? (And wouldn't you want to know that the fish you're eating might be dangerous? Or is that just some more of that liberal, wishy-washy, nanny-state crap?
Dang, Bruce -- first you implicitly diss the War on Drugs™, and now factory farming. What next, the Keystone XL pipeline? Are you trying to live dangerously by pissing off the Wingnutterati®?
SATURNALIADAY: In the strip's Disqus comments, I posted:"We seem to either want government agencies to perform flawlessly after taking huge budget cuts, or want self-regulating corporations to put the consumer before profits. If teabaggers have ever offered a WORKING alternative, I must have missed it."Flagged and deleted within ten minutes! That's when you know you've really struck a nerve. (Reposted, of course.)@Frank Stone: Yeah, it's weird. Maybe the last functioning bits of his brain matter have gone all soggy from the liquor.
Once again, Tinsley honors liberal values, by recycling an old joke. However, he puts the conservative spin on it by making sure it's someone else's joke he recycles.
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