That damned Start

What's Mallard raving about today?

Entitlements

Interesting. Entitlements before the advent of the Great Society were lower than during the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. That is really meaningful stuff there, Mallard.

Apparently today is "Cherry Pick Statistics to Make a Pre-Determined Point Day."

In 1962 the Top Marginal tax rate was 91% and GDP growth was 8%. In 2009 the Top Marginal tax rate was 35% and GDP growth was -1%. So obviously...

That damned Delusion

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Head Start.

I know the one in Panel 4 is by far the most delusional.

That damned Study

What's Mallard raving about today?

Head Start, Liberals.

Yes, let's eliminate Head Start because some sort of partisan think tank did a study which just happened to reinforce a preconceived ideological stance.

The poor can go hungry and without education. Billionaires need more tax breaks. And GE's tax credit of $3.2b from the Federal government is just not enough for them to survive.

Hey Mallard, I'm pretty sure Jesus, who lived to help poor people, would punch you in the throat if he ever met you.

Republicans have stopped even pretending to have hearts or souls.

Those damned rebates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, Rebates, the Poor.

The reason you can't contemplate it, Mallard, is that you're a shortsighted reactionary idiot.

The point of the economic stimulus package is not to be fair, but to inject money into the economy to stave off a recession.

Someone who gets a rebate and puts it into the bank provides no such benefit to the economy. Those who fall so far below the poverty line that the don't pay taxes will inject that money back into the economy with great certainty.

But don't that interfere with that most cherished of all your values: hatred of poor people. WWJD, indeed?

Those damned Hippies

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hippies, Folk Songs.

Mallard hates hippies and associates them with folk music. Everyone clear?

That damned Starbucks

What's Mallard raving about today?

Starbucks (obliquely).

I'm much less interested in the overall theme of the panel, which is fairly obvious, than I am with the prominent No Parking Zone sign. Given it's position, it has to signify something, but what?

That damned New Yorker

What's Mallard raving about today?

The New Yorker Cartoons.

Nope, sorry. I don't understand this one at all.

Does The New Yorker pay it's cartoon characters exorbitant salaries of which I am not aware?

Or is Mallard bemoaning that cartoonists for The New Yorker make more than, say, hack syndicated cartoonists who pen bewildering comics on waterfowl-related topics.

That damned Anna Nicole Smith

What's Mallard raving about today?

Anna Nicole Smith.

The combination, in the most inscrutable manner, of Ms. Smith, taxes, and the poor is comedy, uh, not so much gold as a giant lump of crap.

Those damned other people

What's Mallard raving about today?

Americans who don't pay taxes, Illegals.

To be continued? You mean this whole week's going to be a picture of him with a tin cup and signs bitching about everyone and everything he doesn't like?

...And Democrats. And Liberals. And the French. And the Poor. And my former P.E. teacher. And that one judge who just didn't understand me.

Those damned bums

What's Mallard raving about today?

Bums, beggars, panhandlers, or street people.

The last time a week started like this, Mallard spent the rest of the week trying to start a grass-roots movement for Walter Williams. My guess is that his efforts did not go so well, and this week will be about how poor Walter has fallen on hard times.

But that's just a guess.

It's also possible Mallard is just going to complain about poor people and veterans who bother him with their poverty.

Those damned con men

What's Mallard raving about today?

E-mail con artists, Bono, African poverty.

Today's panel leaves us with two equally-disturbing possible interpretations:

1. Mallard does not realize these e-mails are from con artists and actually believes he has a solution to African poverty.
2. Mallard thinks it is funny to mock African poverty and Bono's attempts to eradicate it. As if that were not enough, he juxtaposes extreme poverty against his inconvenience at having to delete bogus email, as if the two are somehow equivalent in stature.

On the plus side, no poetry!

Those damned donkeys

What's Mallard raving about today?

The new Congress, Middle-Class taxes, the Rich, the Poor.

Apparently a coalition consisting only of the ultra-rich and the ultra-poor got together and formed a voting bloc so large they managed to elect Democrats to Congress.

That damned WalMart

What's Mallard raving about today?

Wal-Mart, Rich Liberals, Uncle Sam.

Most. Schizophrenic. Panel. Ever.

Almost the entire top section is devoted to caveatting the remainder of the panel because Mallard objects to Wal-Mart's offshore manufacturing. Of course, Mallard is blind to the irony of the fact that Wal-Mart is able to offer the low prices that form the basis for the rest of the panel precisely because of their offshore manufacturing.

But Mallard won't let any of that get in the way of a good rant against both government and liberals, or in this case the dreaded rich liberals.

Free advice: when you have to throw in a meaningless phrase like "In fact I'm counting the ways" simply to maintain your erratic rhyme scheme, it's time to recognize the fact that you should stop with the freaking poetry!

Those damned poor people

What's Mallard raving about today?

The poor.

One one level, you almost want to root for today's Mallard because it shows compassion for the poor outside the US. Until you realize that he's making the point by taking a swipe at the poor inside the US, saying they are fat. As if that fact makes them a target of derision and, presumably, implies that they are getting fat by suckling on the Government's teat.

And then you find yourself wondering where the figure in the barren landscape is supposed to have gotten an English-language newspaper.