What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama
Mallard, should President Obama win tomorrow, I think your only option is to pack up and go to a country that represents your ideal Randian/Theocratic society as a protest. Nothing else will be ideologically pure enough.
Project Wonderful Banner
Showing posts with label Muslims. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muslims. Show all posts
Monday, November 05, 2012
Monday, October 08, 2012
That damned Guy
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Muslims
Mallard, you're a lying sack of crap, and a despicable waterfowl. You are so beneath contempt that I refuse to even address today's lie.
President Obama, Muslims
Mallard, you're a lying sack of crap, and a despicable waterfowl. You are so beneath contempt that I refuse to even address today's lie.
Monday, October 01, 2012
That damned Spring
What's Mallard raving about today?
Arab Spring, The Media
Now Mallard is just putting random right-wing bugaboos into sentences without any rhyme or reason.
I'm a little confused, however. Wasn't democracy in the Middle East a neo-con, President Bush, Republican thing?
I guess they assumed democracy would just spring forth fully-formed with no disruption at all?
I mean, after all, our own revolutionary path to democracy (terrorists, the British called us) only took from 1775-1782. So why can't the Middle East just do it in a few months with no bloodshed? How unreasonable.
Arab Spring, The Media
Now Mallard is just putting random right-wing bugaboos into sentences without any rhyme or reason.
I'm a little confused, however. Wasn't democracy in the Middle East a neo-con, President Bush, Republican thing?
I guess they assumed democracy would just spring forth fully-formed with no disruption at all?
I mean, after all, our own revolutionary path to democracy (terrorists, the British called us) only took from 1775-1782. So why can't the Middle East just do it in a few months with no bloodshed? How unreasonable.
Monday, November 07, 2011
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, Dinosaurs
Uh, Mallard, you understand that Tyrannosaurus was also a carnivore, right?
In terms of your metaphor here, if the Tyrannosaurus was "old" then, in the animal kingdom, death is a pretty likely fate. Also, can you think of any other words with the same root as "Tyrannosaurus" which mean this metaphor works better when read with the opposite intent as yours?
God, you really suck at your job.
BTW - I realize I am not in the segment of Mallard's readers which are reflexively reflexively frightened at the dog whistle metaphor of a "pack" of "carnivores."
Liberals, Dinosaurs
Uh, Mallard, you understand that Tyrannosaurus was also a carnivore, right?
In terms of your metaphor here, if the Tyrannosaurus was "old" then, in the animal kingdom, death is a pretty likely fate. Also, can you think of any other words with the same root as "Tyrannosaurus" which mean this metaphor works better when read with the opposite intent as yours?
God, you really suck at your job.
BTW - I realize I am not in the segment of Mallard's readers which are reflexively reflexively frightened at the dog whistle metaphor of a "pack" of "carnivores."
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
That damned Treatment
What's Mallard raving about today?
Muslims
It takes a special brand of ass-hattery to look at Muslims fighting for their freedom against tyrannical rule and then produce something as mean-spirited as today's Mallard Fillmore.
But, I suppose we have a right to feel completely superior.
I mean ours was a 100% bloodless revolution in which we asked politely for our freedom and our White brethren in England said "sure, no problem." And it's not like America has ever suffered from internal divisions so large that it caused a bloody Civil War. What's wrong with these Muslims? Why can't they be more like us?
By the way, Mallard Fillmore is not a racist.
Muslims
It takes a special brand of ass-hattery to look at Muslims fighting for their freedom against tyrannical rule and then produce something as mean-spirited as today's Mallard Fillmore.
But, I suppose we have a right to feel completely superior.
I mean ours was a 100% bloodless revolution in which we asked politely for our freedom and our White brethren in England said "sure, no problem." And it's not like America has ever suffered from internal divisions so large that it caused a bloody Civil War. What's wrong with these Muslims? Why can't they be more like us?
By the way, Mallard Fillmore is not a racist.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Those damned Revolutions
What's Mallard raving about today?
Arab Uprisings
If a Republican or Fox support it, we're for it. Otherwise, we're against it. Was that really so hard?
Arab Uprisings
If a Republican or Fox support it, we're for it. Otherwise, we're against it. Was that really so hard?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
That damned Year
What's Mallard raving about today?
Arab Spring
Wow, even when not being an utter ass hat, Mallard's timing is just lousy.
Arab Spring
Wow, even when not being an utter ass hat, Mallard's timing is just lousy.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
That damned Infringement
What's Mallard raving about today?
Readers.
If Mallard can be believed (a big "if") people are reading Mallard Fillmore.
So, yes...people are getting stupider.
Readers.
If Mallard can be believed (a big "if") people are reading Mallard Fillmore.
So, yes...people are getting stupider.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
That damned Blame
What's Mallard raving about today?
Muslims, Sarah Palin.
Of all the things about the response to this tragedy that makes me crazy, it's the Right Wing Straw Man that they are being "blamed" (the poor little victims).
In point of fact, you lackwit, what rational people are saying is that super-heated eliminationist rhetoric, especially the kind that plays to paranoia about a government that is "coming to get you/your children/your grandparents/your guns," can contribute to crazy people doing crazy things. And while you may not be to blame, why would you want to contribute?
Put another way, I'm sure Mallard and his Right Wing puppet masters would have no compunction about muzzling radical Muslim Clerics preaching about America as the Great Satan, on the grounds that it fosters terrorism.
Muslims, Sarah Palin.
Of all the things about the response to this tragedy that makes me crazy, it's the Right Wing Straw Man that they are being "blamed" (the poor little victims).
In point of fact, you lackwit, what rational people are saying is that super-heated eliminationist rhetoric, especially the kind that plays to paranoia about a government that is "coming to get you/your children/your grandparents/your guns," can contribute to crazy people doing crazy things. And while you may not be to blame, why would you want to contribute?
Put another way, I'm sure Mallard and his Right Wing puppet masters would have no compunction about muzzling radical Muslim Clerics preaching about America as the Great Satan, on the grounds that it fosters terrorism.
Friday, January 21, 2011
That damned Suggestion
What's Mallard raving about today?
Katie Couric, Muslims, Baby Boomers.
What happens when you decide to just toss two completely disparate and irrational hatreds into a single panel? You get today's completely mystifying effort.
Katie Couric, amiright? And Muslims, imagine them having a TV sitcom!Oh, and you Baby Boomers with your Bob Dylan and pot smoking! All of you...get off of my lawn!
Katie Couric, Muslims, Baby Boomers.
What happens when you decide to just toss two completely disparate and irrational hatreds into a single panel? You get today's completely mystifying effort.
Katie Couric, amiright? And Muslims, imagine them having a TV sitcom!Oh, and you Baby Boomers with your Bob Dylan and pot smoking! All of you...get off of my lawn!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Those damned Presbyterians
What's Mallard raving about today?
Presbyterians, Nigerians (and pretty much anyone not white)
It's amazing how often I get to say this on this blog, but, once again: Nice timing.
Interesting also is how White Americans who commit acts of terror are always lone nutjobs whose politics and religion have nothing to do with their acts of madness.
Not true of Nigerians, Saudis, Afghans, or Syrians...wonder what's behind that?
Presbyterians, Nigerians (and pretty much anyone not white)
It's amazing how often I get to say this on this blog, but, once again: Nice timing.
Interesting also is how White Americans who commit acts of terror are always lone nutjobs whose politics and religion have nothing to do with their acts of madness.
Not true of Nigerians, Saudis, Afghans, or Syrians...wonder what's behind that?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
That damned Terrorist
What's Mallard raving about today?
German Toddlers, Swiss Grandmothers, Muslims.
Anyone who "looks Muslim" should just be locked up. Wearing a Sari? You look Muslim to Mallard, so tough shit.
German Toddlers, Swiss Grandmothers, Muslims.
Anyone who "looks Muslim" should just be locked up. Wearing a Sari? You look Muslim to Mallard, so tough shit.
Monday, November 15, 2010
That damned Minority
What's Mallard raving about today?
Juan Williams, NPR.
Wow. Liberals sure are racist. Just witness what Mallard makes Straw versions of them say. Who could need more proof than this?
Juan Williams, NPR.
Wow. Liberals sure are racist. Just witness what Mallard makes Straw versions of them say. Who could need more proof than this?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
That damned Memory
What's Mallard raving about today?
Juan Williams, Liberals.
Liberals wield such power! After all, noted nutjob Glenn Beck is out of a job! Proof! Proof, I tell you!
Juan Williams, Liberals.
Liberals wield such power! After all, noted nutjob Glenn Beck is out of a job! Proof! Proof, I tell you!
Friday, November 12, 2010
That damned Look
What's Mallard raving about today?
Himself.
On the other hand, the average American doesn't force me to look at his crotch.
Himself.
On the other hand, the average American doesn't force me to look at his crotch.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
That damned Admission
What's Mallard raving about today?
Juan Williams.
Hmmmm. I think I see where this is going.
A new Right Wing bête noire makes an appearance each day, while Mallard protests his lactose intolerance.
Finally, Rupert Murdoch offers Mallard $2m to join Fox because there is no depth to which Fox won't sink.
That's when the panels get a little sticky.
This could win in the category of Most Interminable Series as well if Mallard plays his cards right.
Juan Williams.
Hmmmm. I think I see where this is going.
A new Right Wing bête noire makes an appearance each day, while Mallard protests his lactose intolerance.
Finally, Rupert Murdoch offers Mallard $2m to join Fox because there is no depth to which Fox won't sink.
That's when the panels get a little sticky.
This could win in the category of Most Interminable Series as well if Mallard plays his cards right.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
That damned Quakebuttock
What's Mallard raving about today?
Juan Williams.
I'm pretty sure we have our 2010 "Worst Metaphor" winner here. Seriously? Fear of people "dressed like Muslims" is the same as Mallard being afraid of Ice Cream because he's lactose intolerant?
I'm not even going to ask the question of why precisely he's afraid of Ice Cream in this little metaphor.
I am, however, going to point out that "Quakebottom" establishes that Mallard is less clever than your average 4 year old.
Juan Williams.
I'm pretty sure we have our 2010 "Worst Metaphor" winner here. Seriously? Fear of people "dressed like Muslims" is the same as Mallard being afraid of Ice Cream because he's lactose intolerant?
I'm not even going to ask the question of why precisely he's afraid of Ice Cream in this little metaphor.
I am, however, going to point out that "Quakebottom" establishes that Mallard is less clever than your average 4 year old.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Those damned Tyrannosaurs
What's Mallard raving about today?
Dinosaurs, Muslims.
Mallard makes the case that hating all Muslims is OK because the actions of Muslim extremists demands it.
Remind me again, what religion was Timothy McVeigh? Eric Rudolph? The IRA? The UVF? I want to make sure I properly hate every member of those religions.
Dinosaurs, Muslims.
Mallard makes the case that hating all Muslims is OK because the actions of Muslim extremists demands it.
Remind me again, what religion was Timothy McVeigh? Eric Rudolph? The IRA? The UVF? I want to make sure I properly hate every member of those religions.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Those damned Groups
What's Mallard raving about today?
Democrats, Muslims.
When you never leave your living room or turn off Fox News, you would tend not to run into the majority of Muslims and Democrats.
That makes you the idiot, though.
Democrats, Muslims.
When you never leave your living room or turn off Fox News, you would tend not to run into the majority of Muslims and Democrats.
That makes you the idiot, though.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
That damned Olympics
What's Mallard raving about today?
Stoning, The Olympics.
Much of the World considers Capital Punishment, in any form, barbaric. To Mallard, the fact that Capital Punishment is legal in America proves how stupid everyone else in the World is.
Mallard considers stoning, as a method of Capital Punishment, barbaric. Mallard considers every individual member of a religion associated with a country in which stoning is legal a barbarian.
Discuss.
Stoning, The Olympics.
Much of the World considers Capital Punishment, in any form, barbaric. To Mallard, the fact that Capital Punishment is legal in America proves how stupid everyone else in the World is.
Mallard considers stoning, as a method of Capital Punishment, barbaric. Mallard considers every individual member of a religion associated with a country in which stoning is legal a barbarian.
Discuss.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)