What's Mallard raving about today?
Pants, Hips
Just a week after decrying regulation of soda, Mallard turns to criticizing fat people, with no hint of irony or any sense of connection between the two.
At this point, Mallard spent 3 days on the Affordable Care Act and 2 (so far) on "Pants: why they annoy me so much" (but people deserve a break, not a lecture).
To recap: Mallard Fillmore continues to be one of the most highly contentious and celebrated comic strips, providing a unique conservative viewpoint to the comics pages. Mallard Fillmore has been a lightning rod for controversy with the right-leaning duck consistently addressing hot button issues and lampooning liberal politicians, the media and cultural establishments.
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Showing posts with label Obesity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obesity. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
That damned Cup
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obese People, Cups
In this case, in which we are subjected to splayed duck crotch, "Viewer Discretion is Advised" is less a punchline than a label.
Obese People, Cups
In this case, in which we are subjected to splayed duck crotch, "Viewer Discretion is Advised" is less a punchline than a label.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
That damned Fat
What's Mallard raving about today?
Jeans, Fat People
I think Mallard Fillmore is unfamiliar with the concept of "jokes" and "humor".
Jeans, Fat People
I think Mallard Fillmore is unfamiliar with the concept of "jokes" and "humor".
Thursday, May 12, 2011
That damned Problem
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obesity, Starvation.
Mallard Fillmore finds the silver lining ins Childhood Obesity.
Obesity, Starvation.
Mallard Fillmore finds the silver lining ins Childhood Obesity.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Those damned Cheetos
What's Mallard raving about today?
Michelle Obama, Obesity, President Obama, The Budget, Cheetos
Michelle Obama is not the one who says we are Obese, Mallard. Scientific studies show that more Americans than ever are obese. Michelle Obama is trying to address that epedemic, not accuse you personally of being a fat ass. Now, I know, I know...Science...amiright?
But lying and saying the First Lady is accusing everyone in American of being obese, as if it were some personal affront to you, shows a distinct lack of anything one would call "Accuracy." And yes, I know, I know...Accuracy...amiright?
As for your budget reference: what?
Michelle Obama, Obesity, President Obama, The Budget, Cheetos
Michelle Obama is not the one who says we are Obese, Mallard. Scientific studies show that more Americans than ever are obese. Michelle Obama is trying to address that epedemic, not accuse you personally of being a fat ass. Now, I know, I know...Science...amiright?
But lying and saying the First Lady is accusing everyone in American of being obese, as if it were some personal affront to you, shows a distinct lack of anything one would call "Accuracy." And yes, I know, I know...Accuracy...amiright?
As for your budget reference: what?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
That damned Kick
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obesity, The Media.
So says the duck who has been planted in front of his TV eating a box of snacks for as much as 60% of 2011.
Obesity, The Media.
So says the duck who has been planted in front of his TV eating a box of snacks for as much as 60% of 2011.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
That damned system
What's Mallard raving about today?
China, Obesity, Education.
Mallard Fillmore is a traitor who thinks Communist China is superior to the United States and would be foolish to emulate us.
China, Obesity, Education.
Mallard Fillmore is a traitor who thinks Communist China is superior to the United States and would be foolish to emulate us.
Friday, October 16, 2009
That damned Mind
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, Obesity, Drugs.
I won't pretend to speak for all Progressives, but let's compare and contrast my mind with Mallards.
Mallard: Drugs come from Mexico and Colombia, I blame Mexicans and Colombians.
Me: I blame the drug cartels which operate out of those countries.
Mallard: Progressives don't blame drug suppliers.
Me: That's an idiotic Straw Man.
Mallard: Progressives blame fast food companies for Obesity.
Me: That's also an idiotic Straw Man.
Mallard: Let's only attack problems from the supply side.
Me: Why don't we attack both the supply and demand side of the problem and solve it faster?
Mallard: You want me to hold two thoughts in my head at the same time? Blaaaargh!
Liberals, Obesity, Drugs.
I won't pretend to speak for all Progressives, but let's compare and contrast my mind with Mallards.
Mallard: Drugs come from Mexico and Colombia, I blame Mexicans and Colombians.
Me: I blame the drug cartels which operate out of those countries.
Mallard: Progressives don't blame drug suppliers.
Me: That's an idiotic Straw Man.
Mallard: Progressives blame fast food companies for Obesity.
Me: That's also an idiotic Straw Man.
Mallard: Let's only attack problems from the supply side.
Me: Why don't we attack both the supply and demand side of the problem and solve it faster?
Mallard: You want me to hold two thoughts in my head at the same time? Blaaaargh!
Friday, September 25, 2009
That damned Obesity
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obesity, NBC News.
Seriously? This is what is pissing you off? Seriously?
Obesity, NBC News.
Seriously? This is what is pissing you off? Seriously?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
That damned head
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obesity.
I presume Mallard is noting the fact that, when covering obesity, news organizations tend not to show the faces of the random people who they are labeling "obese" as examples.
One presumes Mallard actually understands the reasoning behind this. But since Mallard's job is to publish a daily list of everything and everyone he hates, I would not call that a safe presumption.
Obesity.
I presume Mallard is noting the fact that, when covering obesity, news organizations tend not to show the faces of the random people who they are labeling "obese" as examples.
One presumes Mallard actually understands the reasoning behind this. But since Mallard's job is to publish a daily list of everything and everyone he hates, I would not call that a safe presumption.
Friday, May 11, 2007
That damned recycling
What's Mallard raving about today?
Environmentalists, Recycling, the Media.
I'm going to ignore the fact that this panel makes little sense, given that the stories Mallard cites are not examples of, you know, environmentalism.
I'm going to ignore the fact that Mallard's TV remote can speak, at least in onomatopoeia.
What bothers me is that Mallard is complaining about the media recycling stories about how people are too fat.
Environmentalists, Recycling, the Media.
I'm going to ignore the fact that this panel makes little sense, given that the stories Mallard cites are not examples of, you know, environmentalism.
I'm going to ignore the fact that Mallard's TV remote can speak, at least in onomatopoeia.
What bothers me is that Mallard is complaining about the media recycling stories about how people are too fat.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
That damned logic
What's Mallard raving about today?
Dog-eating Chinese people, innumerable sources, crazy illogical people.
Just yesterday, I asserted that Mallard's final sentence was "the single most unhinged rambling ever published in comic form."
One day later, Mallard outdoes himself in the most impressive manner imaginable, further proves that this comic is little more than a parochial vanity exercise, and confirms in grand style what commenter Chance said:
Dog-eating Chinese people, innumerable sources, crazy illogical people.
Just yesterday, I asserted that Mallard's final sentence was "the single most unhinged rambling ever published in comic form."
One day later, Mallard outdoes himself in the most impressive manner imaginable, further proves that this comic is little more than a parochial vanity exercise, and confirms in grand style what commenter Chance said:
This is a goddamn poorly executed scribble of a duck head poking out under lines and lines of crazed rambling that one might find on the blog of a repressed 14 year old who just discovered that there are people who don't believe in what his daddy taught him.At least this probably represents the end of this particular thread which (I feel compelled to remind everyone) began by superimposing Rex Morgan, MD's head on a fat Chinese kid and yet somehow managed to become more absurd.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Those damned asterisks
What's Mallard raving about today?
The F.D.A., pet obesity, Chinese obesity, dog-eating.
This panel would only be half as appalling if I didn't realize that Mallard spent two days on a rambling, incoherent lead-in to the rather flaccid joke that China's kids are obese because they are eating America's obese dogs. Not to mention the excessive use of "footnotes" (a term which can only be used loosely because attributing something broadly to USA Today can't be considered documenting your work).
The last paragraph deserves special mention as the single most unhinged rambling ever published in comic form. Rather than trying to justify his "joke" on the basis that it is grounded in fact, I'd prefer Mallard just bitch and moan about how he's been vilified for insinuating that the Chinese eat dogs.
Though it did make me wonder if somewhere in India there's an analogous comic in which a fuliguline Indian reporter rants about how cow-eating in America is rising, not falling.
The F.D.A., pet obesity, Chinese obesity, dog-eating.
This panel would only be half as appalling if I didn't realize that Mallard spent two days on a rambling, incoherent lead-in to the rather flaccid joke that China's kids are obese because they are eating America's obese dogs. Not to mention the excessive use of "footnotes" (a term which can only be used loosely because attributing something broadly to USA Today can't be considered documenting your work).
The last paragraph deserves special mention as the single most unhinged rambling ever published in comic form. Rather than trying to justify his "joke" on the basis that it is grounded in fact, I'd prefer Mallard just bitch and moan about how he's been vilified for insinuating that the Chinese eat dogs.
Though it did make me wonder if somewhere in India there's an analogous comic in which a fuliguline Indian reporter rants about how cow-eating in America is rising, not falling.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
That damned us
What's Mallard raving about today?
China, Obesity, Freedom, Democracy, Respect for Human Rights.
You think it "may be" something they picked up from us? For example, could the recent appearance of fast food franchises like KFC and McDonald's in China have anything to do with it? None of which explains the need to place "shocking" in quotes.
And what happened to Rex Morgan, MD? Why did he get replaced by this featureless blob?
China, Obesity, Freedom, Democracy, Respect for Human Rights.
You think it "may be" something they picked up from us? For example, could the recent appearance of fast food franchises like KFC and McDonald's in China have anything to do with it? None of which explains the need to place "shocking" in quotes.
And what happened to Rex Morgan, MD? Why did he get replaced by this featureless blob?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
That damned Rex Morgan, MD
What's Mallard raving about today?
Obesity in China, generic depictions of non-caucasians, Rex Morgan MD.
This panel raises two questions to which I don't believe there can possibly be a satisfactory answer:
1. Why Rex Morgan, the comic world's gayest doctor?
2. To be continued?
Obesity in China, generic depictions of non-caucasians, Rex Morgan MD.
This panel raises two questions to which I don't believe there can possibly be a satisfactory answer:
1. Why Rex Morgan, the comic world's gayest doctor?
2. To be continued?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Those damned dogs
What's Mallard raving about today?
The F.D.A., obese dogs, the Media, callous Conservatives.
Poor persecuted Mallard, always being misunderstood by the Media.
But given the fact that Mallard's wearing magenta polka-dot jammies when he utters the fateful words about fat dogs, the only conclusion we can draw is that it's the eavesdropping NSA which leaked word of his dog-hating to the big bad Media.
So, apparently, this panel is a criticism of the Bush Administration's illegal eavesdropping policies.
The F.D.A., obese dogs, the Media, callous Conservatives.
Poor persecuted Mallard, always being misunderstood by the Media.
But given the fact that Mallard's wearing magenta polka-dot jammies when he utters the fateful words about fat dogs, the only conclusion we can draw is that it's the eavesdropping NSA which leaked word of his dog-hating to the big bad Media.
So, apparently, this panel is a criticism of the Bush Administration's illegal eavesdropping policies.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Those damned fat-police
What's Mallard raving about today?
Nanny states, fat-police.
There's so much about this panel that bothers me...
Mallard's obsession with laws against fat is his personal version of Bill O'Reilly's fictional War on Christmas. Just a strawman being used to fan the flames of culture war.
There is the incorrect grammatical placement of the ellipsis, creating a sense of dialog trailing off in the middle of a sentence for no reason. And the fact that the ellipsis includes four dots instead of three (even more....of a Nanny State).
There's also the large plate of white glop. I suppose showing a turkey drumstick might have been a bit too close to cannibalism. But still, has there ever been a less well-drawn representation of Thanksgiving dinner?
Finally, there's the hyphenated phrase fat-police. I suppose Mallard was trying to avoid confusing the reader with images of obese policemen. But the use of the hyphen is not correct no matter what his reason.
Happy Thanksgiving to one an all.
Nanny states, fat-police.
There's so much about this panel that bothers me...
Mallard's obsession with laws against fat is his personal version of Bill O'Reilly's fictional War on Christmas. Just a strawman being used to fan the flames of culture war.
There is the incorrect grammatical placement of the ellipsis, creating a sense of dialog trailing off in the middle of a sentence for no reason. And the fact that the ellipsis includes four dots instead of three (even more....of a Nanny State).
There's also the large plate of white glop. I suppose showing a turkey drumstick might have been a bit too close to cannibalism. But still, has there ever been a less well-drawn representation of Thanksgiving dinner?
Finally, there's the hyphenated phrase fat-police. I suppose Mallard was trying to avoid confusing the reader with images of obese policemen. But the use of the hyphen is not correct no matter what his reason.
Happy Thanksgiving to one an all.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Those damned mice
What's Mallard raving aout today?
Obese mice.
Nice work, Mallard. Ignore the completely obvious answer in order to make a fat joke that isn't funny in the first place.
I know this should have occurred to me sooner, but based on the fact that yesterday's panel was written on Veteran's Day, that means that this panel was written about 4 days past the Midterm elections, and Mallard has yet to mention it. Denial anyone?
Obese mice.
Nice work, Mallard. Ignore the completely obvious answer in order to make a fat joke that isn't funny in the first place.
I know this should have occurred to me sooner, but based on the fact that yesterday's panel was written on Veteran's Day, that means that this panel was written about 4 days past the Midterm elections, and Mallard has yet to mention it. Denial anyone?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Those damned naked Senators
What's Mallard raving about today?
Fatty foods, giant meteors, Senator Clinton.
Mallard is being disingenuous. His "prediction" was actually asterisked as being based on PBS.org. So, his claim that his power to turn preposterous suggestions into fact is, in fact, a preposterous suggestion based on fiction.
And, to be utterly frank, I'd rather see Senator Clinton naked for the rest of her term than see Senator Hastert in a towel coming out of the Senatorial sauna once.
Fatty foods, giant meteors, Senator Clinton.
Mallard is being disingenuous. His "prediction" was actually asterisked as being based on PBS.org. So, his claim that his power to turn preposterous suggestions into fact is, in fact, a preposterous suggestion based on fiction.
And, to be utterly frank, I'd rather see Senator Clinton naked for the rest of her term than see Senator Hastert in a towel coming out of the Senatorial sauna once.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Those damned liberals
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, fat detainees.
In fact, I made that exact "accusation" yesterday. Now, clearly I was joking, but given today's flap over John Kerry's remarks, I'm sure Mallard would willfully misunderstand and accuse me of being a traitor.
Today's Freudian slip: using the word internment, thus conjuring up a comparison to the Japanese Internment in World War 2.
Liberals, fat detainees.
In fact, I made that exact "accusation" yesterday. Now, clearly I was joking, but given today's flap over John Kerry's remarks, I'm sure Mallard would willfully misunderstand and accuse me of being a traitor.
Today's Freudian slip: using the word internment, thus conjuring up a comparison to the Japanese Internment in World War 2.
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