That damned Email

What's Mallard raving about today?

Habitually Offended People

Mallard Fillmore, smirking when Straw Men win his arguments for him since 1994.

Blissfully unaware that Straw Men reveal the absolute emptiness of one's argument.

That damned News

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?

News.

Mallard calls out Fox Propaganda Network for their extreme bias.

Bravo, Mallard!

Those damned Fish

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fish, Free Lunches.

Because this is an accurate representation of the type of Right Wing rhetoric that people object to.

That damned quote

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Clinton, Terrorists.

Blame the evil acts on the people who commit them? I look forward to Mallard going after Republican Steve King (Iowa) who blamed the victims and justified terrorism:

I think if we’d abolished the IRS back when I first advocated it, he wouldn’t have a target for his airplane. And I’m still for abolishing the IRS, I’ve been for it for thirty years and I’m for a national sales tax. [...]It’s sad the incident in Texas happened, but by the same token, it’s an agency that is unnecessary and when the day comes when that is over and we abolish the IRS, it’s going to be a happy day for America.

And, for what it is worth, if (unlike Mallard and his readers) you care about the truth as opposed to the ridiculous Straw Men (against whom Mallard racks up his only wins in arguments). you can go here or here.

Mallard is, of course, proving President Clinton's point by demonizing President Clinton is lieu of reasoned discussion or debate.

That damned Wheel

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Wheels.

Richly ironic from someone who only has a job because someone else had the same job.

Also, with the exception of access to affordable health care, I defy Mallard to actually name one concrete example of something which fits this Straw Man agrument.

Those damned Orders

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Terrorists, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly.

Mallard is able to win arguments handily when he defines the other side's argument in cartoonish terms which have no basis in reality.

Bravo.

That damned Costume

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, President Obama, Racism.

"Man those Liberals are stupid. Not real Liberals, of course. The ones in my head, though. Scary stupid!"

That damned Government

What's Mallard raving about today?

Government. Obesity, Prosperity.

How to tell Mallard Fillmore is nuts. "Lowering taxes on the wealthy helps the poor. I want people without insurance to die."

Straw men are fun...and easy to argue with.

Those damned Clunkers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Cash for Clunkers, Health Insurance Reform.

If it weren't for the insane dishonesty of the whole Deather argument, I would have found this first take on Deatherism funny. Or, if you substituted a caricature of a Republican for President Obama, I would have found this funny.

Sadly, very sadly, Mallard's 2 week lag is not enough to have made this controversy irrelevant by the time he got to it. Real Americans continue to battle the Glenn Beck Tin Foil Hat Republican Brigade for control of the conversation over Health Care.

Meanwhile President Obama and Democrats continue to hand away key parts of needed reform in an attempt to attract votes from people who are clearly insane and won't vote for it in the end anyway, simply because it's a Democratic proposal.

That damned bill

What's Mallard raving about today?

Health Insurance Reform.

OK, see now I'm excited. We're past the "get ready for school" craziness and now we get to watch Mallard's head explode over Health Care.

Like today, where Mallard conflates the fact that he hasn't read the bill, being too busy watching television, with the Straw Man that no one has read it.

That damned traitor

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson, Racism.

Wow, a double Straw Man. I'm pretty sure that's a Mallard first.

That damned Mozart

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mozart, Michael Jackson.

This Straw Series has officially reached the completely unhinged state. Mallard's Michael Jackson fever is fueled not by an actual event but by the mere appearance of a prominent Black Man in the news.

On the plus side, I am pretty sure we're looking at a string contender for the 2009 Golden Ellipse for Most Interminable Series or Running Theme.

That damned expansion

What's Mallard raving about today?

Michael Jackson, Racism.

Anyone else notice that Mallard is attempting to gild the lily more and more, adding phrases like "wisely added" and "perpetually expanding" to this standard construct?

Unfortunately for Mallard, it has the opposite effect from what he wants, making him seem more unreasonably strident and petty rather than making his point stronger.

That damned Ideal

What's Mallard raving about today?

Colorblind Society.

Aside from one statement, taken largely out of context and hardly even controversial when considered in light of statements from past Supreme Court Nominees, Mallard has not presented one shred of evidence to suggest that Sonia Sotomayor is not qualified nor the best person available.

His entire argument against her is, quite literally: She's a Latina, therefore she must not be a qualified candidate.

It's really hard to understand why Republicans have a 5% favorable rating among Latinos.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Independence Day!

I say this knowing the risk that a specific small-minded waterfowl will create a straw man insinuating that my patriotism is not sincere, unlike his own.

That damned T-Shirt

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, People.

I think this guy should become a recurring character. He can be the official stand-in for "Most People" in all of Mallard's straw arguments.

That damned Video

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gay Marriage, President Obama.

It's riveting to see someone demonstrate so publicly how little they understand an issue and how limited their intellect is.

Let's review what happened in the event:

• Pageant Contestant answered question: Freedom of expression.
• Pageant Judge disliked her answer and gave her low marks: Freedom of expression.

No where in the Constitution does it say that freedom of expression protects you from repercussions if someone disagrees with you. You get to say what you want, but you have to take responsibility for what you say. Want to test that theory, Mallard? Go insult the person who signs your checks.

I also feel compelled to point out that proponents of Gay Marriage, primarily, want the ability to enjoy the same legal protections and rights which accrue to married couples. I am pretty sure that "sanctified" status is not a big concern, seeing that "sanctified" is not a legally enforceable status.

Finally, even if this drivel were taken literally, I am pretty sure President Obama can live with the curse of never becoming Miss USA, since he's a little busy being the President of the United States of America.

Those damned Hooligans

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, The Media.

Fox News was a sponsor of the Teabagging parties.

So your poor wittle Right Wing martyrdom pity party is completely fatuous.

But don't let that get in the way of constructing your Straw Man, since he's the only person against whom you can win an argument.

That damned booty

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pirates, Booty.

It's like watching a guy argue with himself because his argument is so incoherent that it only makes sense if he can take both sides.

Tomorrow is Sunday, which means at least one day's respite from this Pirate nonsense.

On the plus side, I won't have too much trouble identifying at least one nominee for Most Interminable Series.

That damned Hate Speech

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pirates, Hate Speech

Mallard is very, very angry. I think we all get that.

But for the life of me, I have no idea what he's angry about anymore.