What's Mallard raving about today?
Some candidate or other.
Brave, brave, brave stuff from Mallard Fillmore today. Going out on a limb and making a generically-applicable statement regarding an unnamed candidate. Cutting edge commentary and humor all in one package.
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
That damned Fat
What's Mallard raving about today?
Jeans, Fat People
I think Mallard Fillmore is unfamiliar with the concept of "jokes" and "humor".
Jeans, Fat People
I think Mallard Fillmore is unfamiliar with the concept of "jokes" and "humor".
Sunday, February 26, 2012
That damned Raccoon
What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?
Snakes, Raccoons
Mallard Fillmore has lost what existed of his mind.
Snakes, Raccoons
Mallard Fillmore has lost what existed of his mind.
That damned Smartphone
What's Mallard raving about today?
Butt Calls
Here we see the duck confusing "Butt Calls" with "Direct-to-Voice-Mail" logic applied to calls coming from Mallard Fillmore by his closest associates, none of whom can stand talking to him.
Butt Calls
Here we see the duck confusing "Butt Calls" with "Direct-to-Voice-Mail" logic applied to calls coming from Mallard Fillmore by his closest associates, none of whom can stand talking to him.
Friday, February 24, 2012
That damned Wait
What's Mallard raving about today?
The same thing as the last 5 days.
I'm beginning to understand why Mallard Fillmore hates poor people. I mean, in his world, he is able to make a living with no effort, talent, or value whatsoever.
The same thing as the last 5 days.
I'm beginning to understand why Mallard Fillmore hates poor people. I mean, in his world, he is able to make a living with no effort, talent, or value whatsoever.
That damned Call Volume
What's Mallard raving about today?
Tech Support
And with today's new low, with its plethora of duck crotch, we have reached a point where I would rather sit on hold waiting for tech support than read Mallard Fillmore.
Tech Support
And with today's new low, with its plethora of duck crotch, we have reached a point where I would rather sit on hold waiting for tech support than read Mallard Fillmore.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Those damned Problems
What's Mallard raving about today?
Tech Support
Mallard is like a toddler, he thrives on repetition. Unlike a toddler, however, Mallard's use of language is not improving. Nor are his fine motor skills, if his drawing is any indication.
Tech Support
Mallard is like a toddler, he thrives on repetition. Unlike a toddler, however, Mallard's use of language is not improving. Nor are his fine motor skills, if his drawing is any indication.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
That damned Woman
What's Mallard raving about today?
Tech Support
The Mallard Fillmore cavalcade of petty grievances, accompanied by poor drawings and over-wrought text, continues...
Tech Support
The Mallard Fillmore cavalcade of petty grievances, accompanied by poor drawings and over-wrought text, continues...
Monday, February 20, 2012
That damned Tech Support
What's Mallard raving about today?
Tech Support
Why do you hate capitalism, Mallard? This is just a by-product of your beloved job creators exercising their right to make a profit by whatever means they choose. Do you suggest we regulate the free market? Why don't you just take your business elsewhere?
Also, exactly how long do sit and listen to mistaken calls? You have nothing better to do with your time?
The thing that's so maddening about Mallard Fillmore sometimes is it can't even be internally consistent in what he whines about. And since whining is all he does, Mallard is 100% maddening.
Tech Support
Why do you hate capitalism, Mallard? This is just a by-product of your beloved job creators exercising their right to make a profit by whatever means they choose. Do you suggest we regulate the free market? Why don't you just take your business elsewhere?
Also, exactly how long do sit and listen to mistaken calls? You have nothing better to do with your time?
The thing that's so maddening about Mallard Fillmore sometimes is it can't even be internally consistent in what he whines about. And since whining is all he does, Mallard is 100% maddening.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
That damned Like
What's Mallard raving about today?
Facebook
At first I was going to make fun of Mallard Fillmore for putting words into the mouths of characters which bear no resemblance to the way people actually speak to one another.
Then I realized that, of course, Mallard has never been involved in a conversation with another human being in which "like you" was used in this way. So, you know, he can only guess at correct usage.
By contrast, I am sure he's intimately familiar with usage such as "I'd like you to leave now."
Plus, Facebook! Hilarious and tech savvy!
At first I was going to make fun of Mallard Fillmore for putting words into the mouths of characters which bear no resemblance to the way people actually speak to one another.
Then I realized that, of course, Mallard has never been involved in a conversation with another human being in which "like you" was used in this way. So, you know, he can only guess at correct usage.
By contrast, I am sure he's intimately familiar with usage such as "I'd like you to leave now."
Plus, Facebook! Hilarious and tech savvy!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
That damned Commerce
What's Mallard raving about today?
Commerce
Right, because GE-owned NBC is anti-Capitalism. It really takes a special kind of know-nothingness to write something like this. Luckily, Mallard is just that special.
Commerce
Right, because GE-owned NBC is anti-Capitalism. It really takes a special kind of know-nothingness to write something like this. Luckily, Mallard is just that special.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Those damned Things
What's Mallard raving about today?
Joe Biden
Mallard Fillmore: conflating assertion and fact since 2004.
Joe Biden
Mallard Fillmore: conflating assertion and fact since 2004.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
That damned Wish
What's Mallard raving about today?
Joe Biden
Joe Biden made that statement in 2008.
Care to compare how many times Newt Gingrich referred to President Obama as a "Food Stamp President" this week?
Care to compare to racist comments on Right-Wing sites, such as Townhall or Fox?
Joe Biden
Joe Biden made that statement in 2008.
Care to compare how many times Newt Gingrich referred to President Obama as a "Food Stamp President" this week?
Care to compare to racist comments on Right-Wing sites, such as Townhall or Fox?
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