Using one thing to make a "joke" about another thing? Careful, Mallard -- you're coming dangerously close to expending effort. If you demonstrate that you're actually capable of working (as opposed to sprawling in front of the TV all day), the Office of Wingnut Welfare just might cut you off.
Tinsley's panel arrangement makes no sense whatsoever--Mallard's in a panel within another, empty-except-for-some-shading panel, separated from the main illustration.
But at least Tins remembered to show Mallard "working" (instead of laying there in his groin-splay chair) while bitching about people "standing around."
...so what's the correlation between gluten-free Billo and the GOP's desperate attempts to get some leftward momentum going? Is this like those strips where he equates lactose intolerance with racial intolerance?
Don't worry, Mallard -- as the quotes around "rebrand" and "centrist" would suggest, the GOP has absolutely no intention of actually changing in any way. This continues to be demonstrated on a daily basis by their infantile temper tantrums and acts of political terrorism.
But do feel free to continue absolving them of any responsibility for their own actions. Maybe someday they'll find out who you are and toss you a few coins for your trouble.
But oh my God you guys if the GOP becomes less extremist, they might stop responding to the sort of dog whistles Tinsley loves and relies on and he might have to work for a living NOT LIKE THOSE LAZY SHIT PIGS IN THE USPS and the very thought keeps Bruce awake at night and that's why the comic sucks so bad and so you see it's all Obama's fault.
Rebranding is a national political party's equivalent to making themselves understood by those stoopid foreigners by talking louder and slower, in English.
TUESDAY Celebrities: avoid embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions the Mallard way, by not wearing pants — coupled with a total absence of external genitalia.
WEDNESDAY: Mallard makes fun of entertainment "news". I find myself in agreement with him; it's not really news at all, it's a distraction. Too bad he didn't go a step farther and talk about something from which entertainment "news" is a distraction. But, you know, baby steps!
As though it weren't horrifically heinous ENOUGH to be plagued by the soul-shriveling certainty that he is the only Right-Thinking being in a mad world befouled by the noxious presence of FOOLS and LIBTARDS, Mallard is now FORCED to report on the shenanigans of celebrities he hasn't HEARD of?! TRULY, is there no END to the INDIGNITIES being HEAPED upon him???
Toots- Yes, there are. The idea is that some parents just can't control their children if there are candy bars RIGHT THERE, so it gives them an option. The kinda funny part, in relation to this strip, is many times those aisles are also "tabloid-free"- I'm assuming because the same people who complained about the candy need the stores to protect THE CHILDREN from seeing trashy tabloids.
Re Saturday: Yeah, Mallard -- 'cuz people who don't own a TV and/or drive a Volvo* are, like, total LOOZERS, amirite?? And people who don't pass out drunk in front of the TV every night are even WORSE!!
*Really, Mallard? A Volvo? That's the best example you could think of? Way to stay cutting-edge relevant there, guy.
Everyone knows that people who don't own TVs and who drive sensible cars do it just to make Mallard Fillmore fans feel bad.
Yep. We're just people who do smart things, not because we're smart, but because we enjoy making stupid people feel stupid. When stupid people do stupid things, it's not their fault, it's *our* fault, for making them feel stupid.
33 comments:
Whoa. He actually lampooned a cultural establishment.
Using one thing to make a "joke" about another thing? Careful, Mallard -- you're coming dangerously close to expending effort. If you demonstrate that you're actually capable of working (as opposed to sprawling in front of the TV all day), the Office of Wingnut Welfare just might cut you off.
Tinsley's panel arrangement makes no sense whatsoever--Mallard's in a panel within another, empty-except-for-some-shading panel, separated from the main illustration.
But at least Tins remembered to show Mallard "working" (instead of laying there in his groin-splay chair) while bitching about people "standing around."
If Tinsley ever really started working for his money, he'd feel dirty and plebian.
But he did a Sunday comic with 2 whole panels! How much more work do you monsters want from him?!
Add baseball to the list of things that Bruce Tinsley. Tune in next Sunday for Bruce's shocking expose on apple pie!
Add baseball to the list of things Bruce Tinsley hates. Tune in next Sunday for Bruce's shocking expose on apple pie!
Nice going, Brews. Now George Will will invite you over for cocktails. Another night of drinking rubbing alcohol from the bottle for you.
MEANDAY
...so what's the correlation between gluten-free Billo and the GOP's desperate attempts to get some leftward momentum going? Is this like those strips where he equates lactose intolerance with racial intolerance?
The modern GOP would appear more centrist if it said "Well, maybe not all rapes are God's Will."
SUNDAY: Mallard hates baseball. Who cares?
MONDAY: Mallard thinks gluten-free is funny and the GOP shouldn't try to moderate its far-right stands. Who cares?
TUESDAY: I can't know yet, since it's only Monday, but I'll bet that the punchline will still be: Who cares?
Don't worry, Mallard -- as the quotes around "rebrand" and "centrist" would suggest, the GOP has absolutely no intention of actually changing in any way. This continues to be demonstrated on a daily basis by their infantile temper tantrums and acts of political terrorism.
But do feel free to continue absolving them of any responsibility for their own actions. Maybe someday they'll find out who you are and toss you a few coins for your trouble.
But oh my God you guys if the GOP becomes less extremist, they might stop responding to the sort of dog whistles Tinsley loves and relies on and he might have to work for a living NOT LIKE THOSE LAZY SHIT PIGS IN THE USPS and the very thought keeps Bruce awake at night and that's why the comic sucks so bad and so you see it's all Obama's fault.
So, taking steps to address a dietary problem that causes health issues is the same as becoming more liberal?
Next week- Mallard takes on diabetics- secret socialists who want to destroy big sugar!
You guys know this is what killed Breitbart, right? The First Lady came out in favor of healthy eating so he ate himself to death.
Rebranding is a national political party's equivalent to making themselves understood by those stoopid foreigners by talking louder and slower, in English.
TUESDAY
Celebrities: avoid embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions the Mallard way, by not wearing pants — coupled with a total absence of external genitalia.
Sounds like we have ourselves another unintentional creepy self-revelation here.
Apparently, Mallard has been following the "research" of The Daily Caller's entertainment editor.
Meanwhile, the GOP plan to create jobs starts with destroying jobs. The sequester should be cartoon comedy gold!
WEDNESDAY: Mallard makes fun of entertainment "news". I find myself in agreement with him; it's not really news at all, it's a distraction.
Too bad he didn't go a step farther and talk about something from which entertainment "news" is a distraction. But, you know, baby steps!
More hard-hitting stuff coming from the duck that spent most of a week talking about the First Lady's bangs.
Wow, Duckie does his job with the same careful, thorough professionalism that Drinkie does his.
As though it weren't horrifically heinous ENOUGH to be plagued by the soul-shriveling certainty that he is the only Right-Thinking being in a mad world befouled by the noxious presence of FOOLS and LIBTARDS, Mallard is now FORCED to report on the shenanigans of celebrities he hasn't HEARD of?! TRULY, is there no END to the INDIGNITIES being HEAPED upon him???
The drawing of 'checkout lanes' is miserable.
Is there such a thing as candy free checkout "aisles"?
If so, do they have them at Box n' Jug World?
Kardasians = hot button issues
See the punchline?
C'mon, Bruce, stop talking about celebrities! You're my only source for finding out what the talking points on Fox News were 3 weeks ago!
What, no suggestive-looking caricature of a Kardashian? You put a lot more work into Honey Boo Boo, Tinsley. Care to speculate WHY?
Toots- Yes, there are. The idea is that some parents just can't control their children if there are candy bars RIGHT THERE, so it gives them an option. The kinda funny part, in relation to this strip, is many times those aisles are also "tabloid-free"- I'm assuming because the same people who complained about the candy need the stores to protect THE CHILDREN from seeing trashy tabloids.
Re Saturday: Yeah, Mallard -- 'cuz people who don't own a TV and/or drive a Volvo* are, like, total LOOZERS, amirite?? And people who don't pass out drunk in front of the TV every night are even WORSE!!
*Really, Mallard? A Volvo? That's the best example you could think of? Way to stay cutting-edge relevant there, guy.
Yeah, sheesh, if you're going to stereotype, at least go with a Prius. Dumbfuck.
Everyone knows that people who don't own TVs and who drive sensible cars do it just to make Mallard Fillmore fans feel bad.
Yep. We're just people who do smart things, not because we're smart, but because we enjoy making stupid people feel stupid. When stupid people do stupid things, it's not their fault, it's *our* fault, for making them feel stupid.
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