That damned Race Hustler

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama.

Apparently it's not over.

Based on his lack of a week long bile spout, we can assume that Mallard agrees with the following statements:

I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the thing in their face and say you helped [9-11] happen. (Jerry Falwell)

All hurricanes are acts of God, because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that. (Pastor John Hagee)

That damned...oh for God's Sake Shut Up Already!

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama.

OK, we get it.

Anything anyone says about Black people is interpreted by Black people as racism. So says Mallard Fillmore, spokesperson for all Black people.

Can we please move along?

That damned 15 Minutes

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama.

Speaking of 15 minutes...it was a nice effort by Mallard and his Right Wing Overlords, but it looks like the American public has pretty well rejected the whole Guilt by Association with a Scary Black Pastor line of attack.

Isn't it time to move on to the next petty distraction?

That damned Scheme

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

Look, Mallard...

There are many reasons beyond racism why someone might not support Senator Obama. Our own billywitchdoctor (hardly your biggest fan) is very openly not an Obama supporter, for example. No one has accused BWD of racism.

But if you keep equating not supporting Obama with racism over and over and over again, you might as well just come out and directly say that you personally can't support Obama because he is Black.

It's OK, we won't think any less of you for being honest. We can't think any less of you.

That damned Mother Fish

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mother's Day.

Enjoy your day of respite. Tomorrow the demented Obama horror show will undoubtedly resume.

That damned Teflon

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teflon, Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan.

OK, this is getting seriously delusional right about now.

That damned Noseworthy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Racism, Elitism.

How little must you think of your own ability and the intelligence of your readers when you have a character introduce himself and state his purpose every time he appears?

Bonus points for the totally nonsensical use of the word Elitist here just because it was the Right Wing Water Carrier's word of choice when this was written. Much of an echo chamber, Mallard?

That damned Putin

What's Mallard raving about today?

Vladimir Putin, Universities.

Right.

Because if you are commenting on suppression of speech in America, land of the Free Speech Zone, you need to look to Universities for the example you want.

That damned Media

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, The Media, Barack Obama.

Bill Clinton's infidelity is always funny! Plus, it looks like someone dropped a heavy weight on Hillary's head. Plus, the Media have always treated Hillary Clinton like their lover. Plus, the media is now in love with John McCain...uh, I mean Barack Obama.

Wait a second...this panel makes no sense at all.

That damned discovery

What's Mallard raving about today?

Indiana, Democrats.

I think I should be depressed that the Democratic Primaries have become absurd enough that even Mallard was able to eke out a joke which is recognizable as such.

That damned Jimmy Carter

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jimmy Carter.

Can I confess that, just in a general sense, I enjoy the way that everything President Carter does causes out-of-proportion apoplexy among the Right Wing Rabies Carriers? It's not because I agree or disagree with President Carter...it's just the way they go atomic and he refuses to give a rat's ass. For that fact alone, I love the man.

I believe this specific reference must refer to President Carter's visit to Hamas. His fairly rational assessment that any Middle East solution will, of necessity, involve Hamas being part of the political process cannot go over well with the foot-stamping, breath-holding, saber-rattling crowd of idiots who are still waiting for this approach to bear fruit.

When you consider that, in 1982, Ronald Reagan removed Iraq from the list of states supporting international terrorism and sent Special Envoy Donald Rumsfeld to shake hands with Saddam Hussein, it's also spectacularly hypocritical.

Not that there's anything unusual about that...I'm just saying.

Those damned words

What's Mallard raving about today?

Massachusetts, Education.

This blather was a waste of everyone's time a week ago. The intervening time has not added any new insight from Mallard to justify using 20 extra words and the extra space of a Sunday panel to make the exact same point.

That damned check

What's Mallard raving about today?

Checks, the US Post Office.

Leave it to Mallard to complain about getting money from the government because it involves the Post Office. Essentially proving that there is absolutely nothing that Mallard will not reflexively complain about.

That damned JFK

What's Mallard raving about today?

JFK, Conservatives.

Apparently, Mallard pines for the good old days when someone like Strom Thurmond could be an openly racist member of the Senate (albeit a Democrat until 1964).

That damned pastor

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barack Obama, the Reverend Jeremiah White.

Nice timing.

I'm not holding my breath for the panel on John McCain's relationship with his endorser, the Reverend John Hagee.