What's Mallard raving about today?
Pakistan
Truthfully, I never really consider the quality of Mallard Fillmore as a comic, because it's so impossible to discern beneath all the mindless hatred and blatant lies on display.
On a day like today, when Mallard Fillmore is saying nothing hateful and nothing which is a blatant lie, I can pause to ponder that question and realize just how objectively dreadful it is.
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REAL Idioms for the future:
"That damn bird totally scottbrowned my car and I just washed it!"
"We're almost to the finish line, you bastard! Don't you palin on me now!" (Also: "Don't play with that kid. The minute he loses a game he'll go palining to Mommy and then you'll be in trouble.")
"He promised to pay you back and you believed him? Ha! Fool, he's a gingricher!"
"Ew, I stepped in santorum." (CURRENTLY ACTIVE, LOOK IT UP)
"I was going to make you something nice for your birthday, but I got drunk and totally tinsleyed it." (With a tip o' the hat to Tog!)
"Oh man, you really ducked that up!" (More hat tips all around.)
"My wife was dying of cancer so I Gingriched her ass"
"We're up by two points, and the first quarter isn't even over yet. Mission accomplished!"
"I need to convince grandpa to invest in some Depends; he Becked his pants again this morning."
"Get a load of that windowless white van - looks like something a person would go Limbaughing in."
"Oh man, you got GOP all over your shoes!"
"We hadn't scored a goal all game, and our team was getting tired, so our coach called an Obama play. Bam-bam! their head guy went DOWN!"
In Brucie's defense, today's strip is probably kind of funny if you've got a fifth of gin in you.
Frank Stone: So you're saying before we read the strip, we should Bruce up?
"I told you to ask for directions. Now we're lost in New Jersey. You sure Bachmanned this vacation!"
WV: factshme. What Brucie says to the bartender when he's ordering another round of "research".
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