What's Mallard raving about today?
Twilight
Day 4 of Mallard extending his political philosophy to everyday life: I'm superior because you enjoy something I don't like. And no, I will not offer a single reason to back up the claim that my opinion on this matter is better than yours.
12 comments:
WHAT? You really couldn't find two seats next to each other? Not even on the front row? What time did you show up? Five minutes after the movie started?
Also, good job with Bigoted Argument A against people you don't agree with: "They smell!"
Whereas the average teabagger screaming about "second amendment solutions" at a town hall agro-fest smells like freedom, amirite?
Wait, is all this really coming from the duck who invites little boys into his living room to make "dust angels" on the carpet while he splays his crotch, and pretends there's something manly about that?
Well, it's certainly an odd choice for a week-long "arc." Kinda like a big flashing neon sign pointing at Batshit's head that reads, "NOPE I GOT NOTHIN'."
They didn't get separated - color-changing gal got tired of the ducks whining and ditched him.
Vampire girl didn't ditch him. She went to the movie like they said. The duck is at a wrestling match. Whether he thinks he's at the movie is still unclear, and probably will always be unclear outside the no-man's land of Tin's brain.
It's gotta be killin' Mallard that no-one is gonna do Atlas Shrugged Part 2 because the Sacred Marketplace rejected Part 1 ... and meanwhile, Twilight is making Cedric Diggory rich!
To scrub your brain of this week's Mallard Story of Pain, I offer the sweetly weird Little Dee.
For someone that "hates" Twilight Tinsley sure knows a lot about it. I think someone else might be on "Team Jacob", if you know what I mean.
There's nothing about the Twilight books/films/fandom phenomenon that doesn't fill me with an overwhelming sense of indifference.
So I feel smugly superior to smelly ol' Bruce.
Oh, poor, poor Mallard, being "dragged" to a movie he AGREED to see with his girlfriend -- an agreement he tried to weasel his way out of. I guess faking being sick would have deprived you of the opportunity to bitch some more, eh, Mallard?
Or maybe he was just too lazy to think of that -- the way Brucie was too lazy to actually DRAW what Mallard was describing as happening AT THAT VERY MOMENT.
And sure, Mallard, blame the huge crowd for the fact that you aren't sitting with your girlfriend. It's not like you're simply an asshole or anything.
It's your own goddamn fault you're there, asshole. Stop bitching about it and own up to your agreement.
You know, you might have gotten seats together if you hadn't spent so much time trying to weasel your way out of your obligations like the dirty Republican you are.
Just be your sweet self, Mallard, and before you know it you'll be sitting between two empty seats again, like always.
Post a Comment