That damned status quo

What's Mallard raving about today?

Racism, Southern Whites, Blacks.

Finally, Mallard gets around to commenting on the election, and his first comment is...complete made up horse crap.

Seriously, can someone point to credible media commentary claiming that the Southern White vote, which was not significantly different for President-Elect Obama than for Senator Kerry, was based on racism?

That damned Pilgrim

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pilgrims, Turkey.

Moments later, Prudence's husband was carried away by a mob and burned at the stake as a warlock for predicting the future. Little did the Pilgrims know that his prediction would, in fact, come true.

Also, sadly, the first Thanksgiving marked the extinction of the New World's rare talking turkeys.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

That damned leader

What's Mallard raving about today?

Leaders, meetings.

So, in this little metaphor, the Turkeys are the Americans (led by Barack Obama) and the Pilgrims are the Iranians (led by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad)?

The Pilgrims are the Iranians?

Seriously?

Mallard is losing his mind.

Meta-Post: AdSense

Just a brief note that at some point I am going to put Google ads somewhere on the site, at least for a while.

It's something I am doing as research for my job, not because I want to (or need to) make money from this blog...not to mention that I can't really expect to make much money.

At any rate, I apologize in advance if the ads are in any way annoying to readers.

That damned thanks

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thanksgiving, Schools.

Despite Mallard's obvious attempt to suggest that those damned Secular Humanists in Public Schools are ruining Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is a secular holiday to begin with.

It's called Thanksgiving after all, not Thank the Christian God.

Unless Mallard is suggesting that being grateful is a uniquely Christian capability. Which is an idiotic suggestion, but I would not put it past him.

That damned Present

What's Mallard raving about today?

Thanksgiving, Then and Now.

Ah, the Past. Superior to the Present in every way, especially when, like Mallard, you romanticize it into a Utopia that never in fact existed.

As to the complaint at hand, Mallard, perhaps if Republicans had not created a world in which everyone needed to work three jobs to survive, that couple would have time to cook.

Those damned Pilgrims

What's Mallard raving about today?

Pilgrims, Xenophobes, Guns, Religion.

I spent the last 8 years being described as a traitor, as a terrorist sympathizer, as Anti-American, and more recently as a Socialist/Marxist by extension.

So any whiny babies who are offended about Obama's statement that they cling to religion and guns out of bitterness can seriously just get over it already, because I could care less about their poor little hurt feelings.

That damned Congress

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, The President.

I am pretty sure Mallard intended to whine about the fact that President Bush was blamed for everything that happened to the country during his 8 year tenure, whereas the Democratic Congress of the last 2 years was not blamed in the same way.

What he actually whined about, however, is the difference between having 1 person versus 535 people representing a branch of the government.

That damned Insanity

What's Mallard raving about today?

The BCS, Insanity.

You know what doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the opposite of?

Change.

You want an example of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?

Voting for John McCain.

Those damned days

What's Mallard raving about today?

Christmas, The Economy.

Reasonably speaking, today's effort would have been written either in the last few days before a historic election or in the days just after a historic election.

And this is what Mallard chooses to whinge about?

Par for the course. Depressing as all hell. But par for the course.

That damned belief

What's Mallard raving about today?

Belief, Hope, Change, Jobs.

President-Elect Obama makes people hopeful for the future. President-Elect Obama promises the possibility of change after 8 years of fear-mongering divisiveness. President-Elect Obama may help foster an economy that creates jobs in America, unlike his predecessor.

Mallard does not want to live in a world like that!

I said it before, I'll say it again. Mallard hates hope.

That damned Santa

What's Mallard raving about today?

Milestones, Christmas.

Mallad fires the first shot in Bill O'Reilly's vaunted War on Christmas.

Alternately: Why does Mallard hate the free market so much?

That damned economy

What's Mallard raving about today?

The economy, The Media, the Election.

Mallard has a point. The Presidency may be many things, but all-powerful it is not, and President Bush cannot be singled out for blame, especially when it comes to the Economy.

Pretty much the entire Republican Party and Conservative Movement are to blame as well.

That said, he is missing the main culprit: the Economy itself. The Economy, which has a well-known liberal bias, was totally in the tank for Obama.

Unfortunately for Mallard, American voters gave in to their fears about the Economy and did not follow his simple, by irrefutable logic:

• Things suck.
• President Bush and Republicans have been in control for most of the last 8 years.
• Ergo, maintain the status quo!

I am surprised that message was not a winning formula. I am certain, however, that it was someone else's fault.

That damned chihuahua

What's Mallard raving about today?

Some groups, Cartoon characters.

Some groups, eh?

Tony the Tiger, and Snap, Crackle and Pop have been branded "cartoon villains" by a U.K. consumer watchdog called Which? for failing to promote healthy eating in children.

I defy you to name the second group, and justify the use of the plural.

Would you like to compare the number of "groups" going after cartoon characters which promote obesity to the number of groups who actively promoted the complete falsehood that Barack Obama was a Muslim in an attempt to frighten people into voting for John McCain?

While we're at it, we can discuss the relative harm of the two "groups".

Also, I suspect Pastor Martin Niemöller would never stop throwing up if he knew how Mallard was trivializing his famous quote.

That damned SRAM

What's Mallard raving about today?

SRAM

Apparently SRAM's Marketing budget only allows for product placement in Mallard Fillmore.

On a more serious note, reading Mallard Fillmore is often a lot like reading the diary of a demented person.