Project Wonderful Banner

Saturday, March 31, 2012

That damned Launch

What's Mallard raving about today?

Apple, The Media

Taken at face value, you'd have to assume Mallard Fillmore was suggesting that Apple product launches are not newsworthy, which would make him a complete lackwit.

After having read Mallard Fillmore for over 2 years, and knowing as I do that he is incapable of using the English language with any precision, I am sure Mallard did not mean to suggest such a thing and was, rather, making an imprecise attempt at at a joke...which still makes him a complete lackwit, if only for a different reason.

Friday, March 30, 2012

That damned Cloud

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Cloud

If today's Mallard Fillmore were a Jeopardy answer, the question would be: "What jokes does a person who doesn't understand what The Cloud is make?"

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Those damned Moms

What's Mallard raving about today?

Books, Moms

Sad. Joyless. Mallard Fillmore.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

That damned Sense

What's Mallard raving about today?

Those kids today and their fiction!

Young people, according to Mallard Fillmore: Leeches on Society and poor judges of fiction.

Mallard Fillmore, according to Young people: What's Mallard Fillmore?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

That damned Genre

What's Mallard raving about today?

Books

That's it? One day on Rush Limbaugh and now you're commenting on those damned kids and their Hunger Games/Twilight books?

Oh, all right, fine...but this isn't going to be nearly as much fun as watching you defend Rush.

Here's one difference between Mallard and myself:

  • My reaction to kids reading these books: This is good. Kids are reading!
  • Mallard's reaction to the same: This is bad. Kids are not reading what I want them to read!
In unrelated news, Conservatives recently accused President Obama of brainwashing kids due to his desire for them to be able to attend college.

I seriously don't understand how the Conservative mind can hold so many completely contradictory thoughts without exploding.

Monday, March 26, 2012

That damned Demonstration

What's Mallard raving about today?

Rush Limbaugh, The Media

Right on cue (read: 3-weeks later when I am sure every single sentient Republican would rather everyone stop talking about it), Mallard rides to Rush Limbaugh's rescue.

Right on message, he decides to go for the "Liberals do it also!" defense.

Unfortunately for Rush, the GOP, and Mallard, American Women have clearly understood the difference between diatribes directed at public figures (such as Sarah Palin, Michele Bachman, and Hilary Clinton) and a sustained 3-day verbal assault on a private citizen whose stepped forward to testify in front of Congress.

That said, Mallard...PLEASE keep this issue alive! PLEASE keep highlighting that Republicans simply don't see anything at all wrong with what Limbaugh said (aside from maybe an indelicate choice of words). Because this is a great election-year issue for Republicans. Honestly. If you just keep talking about it long enough, you will brow-beat women into believing you.

(For what it is worth, I would appreciate that you take the same approach with the Ryan budget, which is also an election-year winner for you, especially if you take the approach that brow-beating America with the rightness and righteousness of your position will eventually win out.)

Sunday, March 25, 2012

That damned Fish

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fish, Cholesterol

Not only is this incomprehensible in general, it's incomprehensible in specific since fish is not high in cholesterol.

Mallard Fillmore: 100% wrong 100% of the time.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

That damned Extremist

What's Mallard raving about today?

Bears, Extremists, Liberals

Mallard's timing curse continues, as he chooses this week to insist that stereotyping based on appearance is just fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

(In reality Mallard's "timing curse" is not to hard to explain, given the fact that he's 100% wrong 100% of the time.)

Friday, March 23, 2012

Those damned Mammals

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mammals, Bailouts

For a guy who routinely attacks the bailout, this is rich. And by "rich" I mean incredibly stupid and dishonest.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

That damned Ad

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, NBC News

Assertion...not the same as fact.

Endless repetition...as boring as you think it is.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

That damned Bright Side

What's Mallard raving about today?

Unemployment, Government Spending

I was wrong, Mallard did add something to his repetitiveness whinging about duplication of effort.

He added his standard tone deafness about unemployment, which he finds alternately hilarious and vexing, since in his world you get paid for putting forth no effort to create nothing of value.

I stand corrected.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Those damned Duplicates

What's Mallard raving about today?

Government Spending.

This is going to continue until Friday. Nothing new will be added. Mallard will just repeat this over and over and over.

Then he will make an incomprehensible panel about fish.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Monday, March 19, 2012

That damned New Report

What's Mallard raving about today?

GAO, Government Spending

It's always difficult to follow Mallard's footnotes, but my search for the source of his claim revealed that the report was from March 2011, so, you know, Mallard's definition of "new" is somewhat suspect.