Those damned double-standards

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mel Gibson haters (yet again), anti-Christian slurs*, double-standards in the media, some balding guy who thinks he has proof Mallard is a "hater".

One month later, there've still been no arrests made in the savage beating-to-death of the Mel Gibson story...though Mallard Fillmore remains the prime suspect. As is typical of poor Mallard, the lag between when the strips are written and published means he is often the only one talking about the issue when it finally appears, which becomes highly ironic in this particular case.

* If you are interested, the article I presume Mallard is referencing for this strip comes from L. Brent Bozell III and his right-wing media watchdog site (Media Research Center) and is called "Mel Gibson and the Politics of Bigotry". The general flaw in Mr. Bozell's argument is that it requires moral equivalency between what Gibson did and anti-religious expressions made as part of comedy (Dennis O'Leary), satire (South Park), or fiction (The DaVinci Code).

Those damned straw men

What's Mallard raving about today?

Straw men.

Well, at least Mallard's come clean about why the Mel Gibson thing has him so upset. It makes no sense, of course, but at least we can stop wondering. The only remaining question is how upset is he, measured in total days worth of strips. He's up to 3 so far.

Those damned media parents

What's Mallard raving about today?

Media parents and media kids, drunk drivers, the mainstream media and their Mel Gibson obsession.

Still with the Mel Gibson thing? Mallard must be an Executive Producer on Apocalypto. What precisely is a "Media Parent" anyway?

Those damned savages

What's Mallard raving about today?

The mainstream media, Mel Gibson-haters, the perfect murder.

Readers of Mallard Fillmore should feel justified doing a little raving themself today, regarding metaphors which don't work. It's also fair to ask why there is both a TV camera and a computer monitor which, based on the angle of the camera, will appear on air.

Those damned cultural oligarchs

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Emmys, A Capricious Cadre of Cultural Oligarchs, unpopular but critically-acclaimed shows, Redeeming Social Value, Presidential Primaries.

Couldn't you come up with one more "c" word to complete the alliterative phrase correctly? I suggest "Capricious Cadre of Cultural Cabalists." That said, given the general furor over the new Emmy nomination process, it hardly requires conjuring up the spectre of the Illuminati to explain the nominations.

Those damned mediocrities

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teacher's unions, principles of mediocrity, seniority-based pay systems.

Speaking of principles of mediocrity, how about a two-panel comic which uses an arrow to indicate that the first panel acts as a lead-in to the second panel?

That dammed Charles Darwin

What's Mallard raving about today?

Scientists, School Officials, Charles Darwin, Cave Men.

Mallard needs a refresher course on Intelligent Design or he'd know that it's not about who "created evolution" but life on earth being designed by an intelligent creator. Belief in evolution, no matter who you think created it, can get you kicked out of the club.

Those damned Anti-Americans

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Anti-American community, "some" districts (actually just one, but who's counting).

Mallard is behind the ACLU 100% on this issue:

The American Civil Liberties Union weighed in against a ban on flag displays and said "students' right of expression in public schools should be given as much room as possible," according to a statement from ACLU attorney Mark Silverstein.

Those damned turnips

What's Mallard raving about today?

Grade Inflation, Academic Standards, UC Berkeley Students and Faculty, Diversity, Two-Career Families, Turnips. (Today's list courtesy of yellojkt by way of The Comics Curmudgeon)

Oh, UC Berkeley...will you damn hippies never learn?

Truth. Lies. Mallard Fillmore.

When I first decided to do a comics blog, I originally thought about doing one about the always shrill Mallard Fillmore and his political ravings. After a few days living with the idea, however, I decided it would be a bit too much like writing a political blog and decided to tackle The Dinette Set instead.

Then, a few days ago, on The Comics Curmudgeon (still the greatest blog on earth), I saw this brilliant comment from yellojkt:

Most. Unhinged. Mallard Fillmore. Ever.

I think Tinsley was just throwing all his usual red meat attacks against the wall to see which would make his mouth-breathing fan base snort the loudest. In fifty-four words he manages to attack:

grade inflation
academic standards
UC-Berkeley (faculty and students)
diversity
two-career families
and turnips

All without an actual punchline.

So, with all due credit to yellojkt, I decided that, in addition to The Dinette Set, I could look at Mallard Fillmore on those limited terms...summarizing who he is raving about each day.

For those not familiar with Mallard Fillmore by Bruce Tinsley, you can find detailed information on this page which provides at least two startling insights.

Apparently the comic Mallard Fillmore has characters other than Mallard himself. This is hard for me to believe since every panel I have ever seen involves only a head shot of Mallard, a rant about some perceived ill or another, and a background image that may or may not help illustrate the rant.

Also, "his politics are a lot more like yours and mine than Peter Jennings' and Jane Fonda's." That is making a really large assumption about how mainstream his politics are while vastly overestimating the political importance of Jane Fonda and Peter Jennings.