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Saturday, November 01, 2014

November 2014

What's Mallard raving about this Month?

Read and Comment!

41 comments:

Andrew said...

Not totally offensive, actually commenting on a real thing...did Bruce get an intern to do his Saturday "writing?"

But, seriously, folks- it's funny how Bruce probably thinks this is a conservative issue, what with all the "fashion design involved," it must be them damn libruls- but, of course, what we're actually seeing is pure marketplace capitalism- the league and the teams just trying to squeeze more money out of the fans by having even more merchandise to sell. Of course, the league and the teams also benefit from tax breaks and labor laws that exempt them from many financial and legal obligations smaller businesses are under, but, hey- ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

11/1: All he needs to do is drop the implication that somebody's gaygaygay, and his fans bark it up.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

11/2: Once again, according to the readers, today's comic proves things. It's proof of what those darn liberals do.

Soon, Mallard will tell them that the Comet is coming, and they must all don running shoes and take poison while they wait for the Space Brothers to take them away. Soon.

CW in LA said...

Ooo, Brews, Disney's scary-ass lawyers are coming for you now.

Well, assuming they or anyone they talk to read your stuff. So probably you're okay.

CW in LA said...

11/3 - A break, not a lecture, right Brews?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

11/3: Today, the GOP duck lectures liberals on not remembering history while answering the iron, again.

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 3: You say this like you think the Berlin Wall was a BAD thing, Mallard. I would have thought that you'd LIKE the idea of physically separating the population of a country along geopolitical lines with a huge wall. After all, that's what you and your people, the tea-baggers -- excuse me, The Real Americans™ -- would love to do here. That is, if you weren't allowed your first choice, which would be to simply execute every "libtard" you could get your hands on...

Bill the Splut said...

If I was a political cartoonist, I think I'd use the First Tuesday in November for some GOTV comic, not "College is for COMMIES who'll rebuild the BERLIN WALL because they're TIME-TRAVELING SHAPE-SHIFTING LIZARD PEOPLE!" screed. But then again, I'm used to working for a living.

Also, Bruce, isn't there some sort of giant wall you guys want to build to keep out the ebola-infected Mexican Islamists? Because apparently the first symptom of ebola is shitting your pants.

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 4: And the ubiquitous myth that college professors are communists is alive and well in right-wing nutjob circles, obviously.

By the way, Mallard/Bruce, why not identify some of these college campuses that are harboring communist professors? You clearly believe they're a Grave Threat to Democracy or you wouldn't have bothered to write about them, so why not name names? Don't you care about the vulnerable hearts and minds of America's future leaders? Do you WANT them to fall under the sway of these insidious throwbacks? Do you WANT them to grow up to be communists?! I thought you LOVED this country, Mallard/Bruce!!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

11/4: Commenter at MF declares that he doesn't need to actually go near a college campus to know what they're teaching in there, so conservative ESP beats pesky facts once again.

Neo Tuxedo said...

11/5: Mallard continues to rail against the people who say that "True Communism has never been tried!" Presumably, his next target will be the much larger and more visible threat to the Republic posed by "long-haired men and short-haired women." (Is anyone here old enough to remember when that was a thing people actually worried about? Because I sure ain't.)

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

11/5: Around 1980, I did my own version of the classic gag postcard, "THESE DAYS, you CAN'T tell the BOYS from the GIRLS!" (Presumably read in the voice of Alan Hale, Jr.) The card showed a pair of balding deadheads shrugging in confusion as a crewcutted punk couple sauntered past.

Neo Tuxedo said...

*applauds* Kip, if you still have a copy of that image lying around, I think you should share it with the class.

Also, and belatedly, the comparisons to a cult are like you read my mind. I've been saying for a while that there are now only two meaningful differences between the cult of Mammon d/b/a the Republican Party and the Church of Scientology d/b/a Religious Technology Center Inc.:
1) RTC, having no direct political power, is only dangerous to its walk-aways;
2) the Scientology "tech" does occasionally help ordinary people who practice it, since Hubbard based it on the principles of mental training employed before him by Aleister Crowley, Jesus, Hillel, Buddha, and all those other illuminated souls who together form the embodiment of the Teacher.

CW in LA said...

11/5 - Today's alleged effort is unintentionally hilarious, I think, at least the "Hur hur, facebook users r DUMM" aspect. I mean, when was it Facebook chanced from walls to timelines, two years ago? You'd think Mr. 90 hours of research a week would be up on that.

And yeah, red-baiting, huh? I'll admit to enjoying Facebook. Can't say I've ever seen anyone talking about communism, apart from trying to claim the president believes in it.

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 5: "A Fillmore Foundation study" = "Something I just pulled out of my ass, but I'm going to talk about it as if it were real, because maybe that will make it real. (Pleeeeease, reality, can't you change for me just this once? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top? I'll be your best friend!)"

Anonymous said...

Nov 4-a good strip BT. It was also a good day for the GOP but not so much for Obama and his liberal followers.

Neo Tuxedo said...

With all due respect*, Anonybruce, public masturbation is illegal in most states. I hope you didn't post that comment from any of them.

(* That is, with every whit of the respect that you are actually due.)

CW in LA said...

11/5 - So, a whole week on the Berlin Wall, courtesy of the crowd that screeches "Ancient history!!1!!11!" when you bring up the Shrub administration's crimes and depredations.

Or BT's oopsies with the drinkies, for that matter.

Toots McGee said...

11/7: Oh, the public masturbation has only just begun.

CW in LA said...

I for one am old enough to remember what a brain-dead old bastard, unaccountably adept at using red-baiting and race-baiting to convince the gullible and the authoritarian that he's a leader, looks like.

Thanks for the kick-ass link, Toots.

Neo Tuxedo said...

An unknown (or, at least, new-to-me) sequel to an unappreciated classic. Thanks, Toots!

"In assembly-kit tests Reagan’s face was uniformly perceived as a penile erection. Patients were encouraged to devise the optimum sex-death of Ronald Reagan."

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 7: So "a leader of the free world" is someone who belligerently orders someone else to do something because he has no power to do it himself. Gotcha.

The wingnut circle is now complete: From bitching about how not enough people remember that the Berlin Wall fell 25 years ago* to awarding sole credit for the event to Saint Ronnie the Gipper, who all Real Americans™ know singlehandedly shattered both the wall and communism forever by holding his Magic Freedom Staff aloft and intoning, Moses-like, "TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!!!" thus calling down The Transformative Magic Lightning of Freedom from Republican Heaven itself. And lo, it was good.


*By the way, Brucie, how have you been doing on that whole "Never Forget" thing re 9/11?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

What Reagan was adept at was reading lines. The only ad-lib of his that I ever admired was, "Honey, I forgot to duck." Yeah, I still think that was a good one.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

ps: Back again. Computer's out of the shop. Now, alas, I must start making up lost time and work.

Bill the Splut said...

My favorite Reagan speech was when he said "For the first time in Man's History--" lost his place, and finished with "--I'm president!" That was undeniably true. It also showed how he thought on his feet.

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 10: Uh... huh. And, uh, who exactly do you imagine is going to be indicting him, Mallard? The little donkey-headed goblins you see dancing on your kitchen table after your second bottle of "research"?

Meanwhile, back in reality, this is what actually happened to that Canadian Sergeant-at-Arms (name of Kevin Vickers, by the way).

Neo Tuxedo said...

Canadian Lawmakers Honor Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers
Prime Minister, Others Pay Tribute to Mr. Vickers After Lengthy Standing Ovation

By NIRMALA MENON
OTTAWA—The man who brought down the gunman who breached Canada’s Parliament Wednesday after killing a Canadian soldier was already back on the job Thursday.

Kevin Vickers, the Sergeant-at-Arms of the Canada’s House of Commons, stood steadfast while receiving a lengthy standing ovation from lawmakers after carrying the ceremonial mace into the chamber.

The veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police shot and killed the gunman...

To Read the Full Story, Subscribe or Log In


And right there is where they lose me, since I can't log into the WSJ and am not going to subscribe to it. I'm not even going to click the pay-walled link to an opinion piece about how "liberals are killing the liberal arts" to find out what in the wide world of sports the voices in some bullethead's hollow skull are telling him this week. (Are the canaries screaming, Peggy?)

Frank Stone said...

Well, that's odd -- when I clicked on Google's link to the article, it was displayed in its entirety. To make life easier for everyone, here it is:

====

OTTAWA — The man who brought down the gunman who breached Canada’s Parliament Wednesday after killing a Canadian soldier was already back on the job Thursday.

Kevin Vickers, the Sergeant-at-Arms of the Canada’s House of Commons, stood steadfast while receiving a lengthy standing ovation from lawmakers after carrying the ceremonial mace into the chamber.

The veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police shot and killed the gunman inside Canada’s parliament building. U.S. authorities have identified the gunman as Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, though Canadian authorities haven't confirmed his identify. The soldier, ceremonial guard Corporal Nathan Cirillo, was killed at a nearby war monument shortly before the gunman entered parliament.

On Thursday, Prime Minister Stephen Harper paid tribute to Mr. Vickers, 58, who at times appeared to fight his emotions.

“I would be very remiss if I did not acknowledge, specifically, the work of the security forces here on Parliament Hill and the great work of our sergeant-at-arms,” Mr. Harper said.

Justin Trudeau, leader of the opposition Liberal Party, said in the chamber, “Kevin, without your courage a terrible situation would have become much worse. We are in your debt. Canadians are proud of you and they thank you.”

Mr. Vickers said in statement that he was “very touched” by the attention but had the support of a “remarkable security team.” He said he would not be providing further comment because of the continuing investigation into Wednesday’s incident, which Mr. Harper has called the work of a “terrorist.”

As sergeant-at-arms, the tall, gray-haired Mr. Vickers performs high-profile ceremonial and administrative duties, one of which includes bearing the mace ahead of the speaker of the House of Commons as the speaker enters and exits the lawmaking chamber each day. He also oversees security at the Parliament buildings and keeps a gun in his office, according to his younger brother, John. A parliamentary official declined to comment on security matters.

The former Mountie is “quite a marksman” but never had to fire a gun during his 29 years of service as a police officer, the younger Mr. Vickers said.

“It seems very surreal that would happen in Parliament of all places,” he told The Wall Street Journal, also describing his brother as “fairly reserved.”

The actions of Kevin Vickers recalled those of another Canadian sergeant-at-arms, René Jalbert, who in 1984 calmed a gunman who went on a shooting spree in the Quebec provincial legislature. Three people died. The gunman surrendered.

Bill Casey, a former Canadian lawmaker, who said he has known Kevin Vickers since he was appointed to the parliamentary position in 2006, described him as a generous and calming presence in the politically charged halls of the parliament who enjoyed regaling others with tales of salmon fishing in Nova Scotia.

CW in LA said...

11/13 - Usually the terrorists who shoot a bunch of people are the right-wing, government-hating, gun-humping variety. But it is true that the establishment media are scared shitless to call these people terrorists precisely for fear of offending that notably short-fused, violence-prone crowd.

Another one of those instances where Mallard is much more accurate than he intends to be.

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 12-13: More evidence, as if we needed it, that all of Mallard's "news reports" and "interviews" take place entirely within his own paranoid, wet-brained imagination.

Neo Tuxedo said...

Let's review what Mallard said on Wednesday:

"All terrorists presented in the following comic strips are fictitious; any resemblance to actual terrorists, living or dead... is purely empirical..."

Notice what he didn't say but should have:

"All liberals presented in the entire history of this comic strip are fictitious or are used fictitiously; any resemblance to actual liberals, living or dead... is purely coincidental..."

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 14: Having pounded his straw-man into dusty, scattered clumps, Mallard proceeds to sodomize it with a pitchfork. Because Truth to Power!!

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 15: Hey, remember when Bruce devoted a whole week of strips to shining a light on the actual, real-life terrorist acts that were being committed in America by actual, real-life right-wing fanatics? No? Congratulations -- you live in actual real life.

Toots McGee said...

Something something Al Sharpton something RACIST words something RACISM! Pillowducktelevision!

CW in LA said...

11/18 - As I recall, the Tinsh's preferred punching bag was once Ted Kennedy, at least until his own series of unfortunate events made that inadvisable. So how're ya gonna make it so you can't talk about Rev. Sharpton, Brews?

CW in LA said...

11/21 - Woo, Truth To Power Man sure is sticking it to Big Male Pony-Tail Wearer again.

CW in LA said...

11/22 - Has Pony-Tail Wearing Dude replaced Cross-Eyed Middle-Aged Woman as the Tinsh's favorite straw man?

Frank Stone said...

Re Nov. 24: OK, so I Googled "Jonathan Gruber". Predictably, this is what I found:

Fox News Has An Uber Obsession With Jonathan Gruber

So Bruce is furious over something Fox "news" is telling him to be furious over. Which means this must be a day ending in "y".

Anonymous said...

I'm back and I wanted to clarify, Obama is a very scary black man. That is why when I go to bed I make sure to kiss my Jesus statue with some deep tongue, grab my 3 shotguns and say a prayer to my Bill O'Reily shrine hoping he blesses my life with his eternal wisdom.

Back to the Jewish,Kenyan,Racist,Communist,Godless,reptoid Obama; Me and my hooded brothers erm my brothers in the holy cloth withh bounce him out and welcome in a decent Republican President who I personally guarantee will eliminate the poverty and class issues with trickle down economics.

America will be safe.

CW in LA said...

11/29 - I expect we're gonna see more and more of Straw Hillary in this space.

CW in LA said...

Led Zeppelin = stupefyingly over-rated.

Mallard of course is also massively over-rated in the sense that, no matter how much people assume it sucks, it's actually way worse.