What's Mallard raving about today?
SUNLESSDAY:"It is bad to have an educated taxi driver. People who understand philosophy get uppity!"
"I Hate the Educated, Part Infinity Plus One."Didn't Kierkegaard say something like "Subjectivity is reality"? Which could be applied here as "College graduates are really the stupid ones! Why can't they just get Daddy Moon to give them an allowance for being a grown adult who draws a naked-ass duck for a living?" In objective reality, the guy thinking that would be a whiny loser.
I'd say "longest, crappiest commencement address EVER" if it weren't so obvious it's being delivered to the voices in Brews' head.
MEAN DAYWatch out, Bruce; you came perilously close to telling the truth there. (Is that what they mean by In vino veritas? If so, you must not be researching wine very often, judging by how reality-based you usually are.)
Brews' awesome timing strikes again: Since it turns out the supposed incriminating for some reason or another e-mails were doctored to make them look bad, Benghazi is barely even a thing any more. Now the scandal is the IRS. The scandal has always been the IRS. Until it fizzles too and something something umbrellas is the scandal.
I once knew a kid who would get angry if the peas on her plate touched the meat. She would cry and whine and demand that something get done about it.She either grew up or went to work for Fox, where she can complain that Obama didn't put enough uniformed guards in from of the CIA safe house.
TURDSDAYNope, Benghazi is still a "thing." Not a thing that has any value, but Tinsley is desperate, so he'll pretend it is.Here, he pretends that buffoonish, utterly-unworkable "rescue scenario" the GOP paid someone to crank out--the one that fizzled almost immediately--is the smoking gun.Just for added sauce, have a dogwhistle about Obama going after whistleblowers! It has no basis in reality, but who cares about that!
Actually, TOGGG!, the bit about whistleblowers has something closer to a basis in reality than the typical duck shit gag, but that's kind of like being the [DEL: sanest :DEL] least deranged neocon at CPAC -- praising with faint damnation.
The magical air power scenario is one of the stupidest that the rightwing churns out, but it also shows how lucky we are that they lost the last couple of elections.Imagine sending an air strike to Benghazi. Most of the city is full of our friends. The initial attack on the compound was over in a few minutes, so the F16s have to orbit looking for something to hit. There's nothing there, just a lot of people who from a few thousand feet up, all look alike. Sure, the president can order that a few buildings get blown up; based on the "success" rate of the drone strikes, theres's about a 6% chance that it'll kill a "bad guy" and a 94% chance that it'll kill someone completely involved.Quite apart from the immorality and illegality of loosing munitions into a civilian population, there's the matter of impracticality. The 94% has friends and family, all of whom the rightwing wants to convert from neutral or friendly into enemy. This was their pattern all through the Bush post-9/11 period: do whatever it takes to throw away the natural advantages we Americans have from our tradition of democracy and liberation, for the sake of recruiting more enemies to fear.It's not smart.
WHIZZDAY"While voters overall may think Congress' focus should be elsewhere there's no doubt about how mad Republicans are about Benghazi. 41% say they consider this to be the biggest political scandal in American history to only 43% who disagree with that sentiment. Only 10% of Democrats and 20% of independents share that feeling. Republicans think by a 74/19 margin than Benghazi is a worse political scandal than Watergate, by a 74/12 margin that it's worse than Teapot Dome, and by a 70/20 margin that it's worse than Iran Contra."One interesting thing about the voters who think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in American history is that 39% of them don't actually know where it is. 10% think it's in Egypt, 9% in Iran, 6% in Cuba, 5% in Syria, 4% in Iraq, and 1% each in North Korea and Liberia with 4% not willing to venture a guess."At any rate what we're finding about last week's Benghazi focus so far is that Republicans couldn't be much madder about it, voters overall think Congress should be focused on other key issues, and Hillary Clinton's poll numbers aren't declining on account of it."(Source: Public Policy Polling dot com)So, Mallard...shove THAT up your ass.
Also note Tinsley's little dig at the "premature" nature of the poll (his own "straw" poll, BTW). Polling which empirically establishes that my talking points are bogus is bogus....and I threw up on my sheet of paper. It's too early and it didn't just include Fox News viewers.BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI!(This week's Tom the Dancing Bug takes on the Watergate/Benghazi comparison...I don't know if it's available widely yet...I joined the Inner Hive (in support of talent and humor) so I saw it yesterday.)
The more you know about Bengahzigate, the more you know the GOP's making stuff up.For example, faking emails and telling credulous "reporter" Jonathan Karl that they were real
Update: Here's the link to Tom The Dancing BugGee, maybe Bruce should think about going weekly. The pressure of coming up with fresh artwork and ideas on a daily basis has broken him. Oops, forgot about the paycheck(s) he gets from the Moonies and the Scaife Foundation. Don't wanna mess with a good thing!
Yes, Mallard -- if only people knew The Real Truth™ about that monstrous Benghazi cover-upper Hillary like you do and you were no longer the Lone Voice of Reason crying in the wilderness, they'd be just as righteously outraged as you! And maybe they'd even want to shoot her in the vagina (which is SO TOTALLY NOT a sick, twisted rape fantasy)!!
THURSDAY:Yeah, because it's always headline news every time any governor gets his stomach stapled.
FROM: Fox News ChannelTO: Bruce TinsleyDear Bruce,Thank you for your interest in our "The Lamestream Media Is in the Tank for Hillary" bandwagon, which is scheduled for release in early 2016. Although we are sure you're a big boy and you really want to help us build our bandwagon, we feel that such a big, complicated project should really be handled by grown-up professional bandwagon builders. Your little cartoons sure are cute, though!If you really want to help us beat that mean old poopy-head Hillary when she runs for president in 2016, maybe you could help your mommy and daddy put up campaign signs for the Republican man running against Hillary, or maybe you could help register Republicans to vote for that man. You shouldn't help register Democrats to vote, though -- they would probably all vote for Hillary, and then she might win the election and become president! That would be awful, wouldn't it? You bet it would!Thank you again for your interest in helping to build our bandwagon. And keep drawing your little cartoons! Who knows -- someday you might even be able to get someone to pay you for them!Best wishes,Fox News Channel
SHITTY DAYSo, is he comparing undocumented immigrants to a horde of locusts, or is he comparing locusts to a horde of undocumented immigrants? And which would more thoroughly convince you that he's a despicable were-hyena who literally cannot suffer enough when he returns to his birthplace in HELL ITSELF? Discuss.
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