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Monday, June 17, 2013

Week of June 16, 2013

What's Mallard raving about this Week?

Read and Comment!


Frank Stone said...
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Frank Stone said...

Re Sunday: Bruce sees fit to remind us once again that there's no occasion for warm-hearted celebration that he can't twist into an occasion for self-righteous scolding.

Re Monday: Oh, goody -- a strip that provokes a few questions as opposed to a weary sigh.

1) Did Mr. Moral Scold just announce that he attempted to cheat on his girlfriend? Or did he and Chantel break up and I missed it or forgot about it? (The actual characterizational bits in this strip occur so rarely that it could well have gotten lost in the steady, tedious flow of OBUMMERZ TEH ANTICRIST HUR HUR.)

2) Did Mallard leave out the part where the woman laughed in his face and told him that she never dates outside her species anyway? Why, yes he did.

3) Is Mallard attempting to communicate with us telepathically? There's no valid reason why he should be thinking his statements instead of speaking them. Ohhh, wait -- maybe he's afraid that his apartment is bugged. You know, what with him being on Obama's "enemies list" and all. >snicker<

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...


There's a pile of Mallard pix. There's your talking points. Just pick something with a couple of empty balloons, and put them together. Then get the truck and get rid of all these empty bottles.

Anonymous said...

Re: Catroon strip of Sunday, June 16 (Fathers Day)

Today, one-third of American children – a total of 15 million – are being raised without a father.-- Via: Life Site News

According to government statistics, 72 percent of African-American children are born to unmarried mothers. -- Via: The Root

For the first time ever, America’s racial and ethnic minorities now make up about half of the under-5 age group, according to the U.S. Census. The new census estimates are current as of July 2012 and come nearly a year after the government agency reported that whites had fallen to a minority among babies. The Census Bureau said the change was fueled by immigration and high birth rates among minorities. According to the Census, whites in the under-5 age group will tip to a minority in 2013 or 2014 and within five years, minorities will become the majority of children under the age of 18. -- Via: Miami CBS

Neo Tuxedo said...

@Anonymous Coward: If you have something to say, you're cordially invited to say it. If not, Tom Lehrer said it best: "I think if people are having trouble communicating, the least they could do is shut up about it."

CW in LA said...

Uh-oh. Anonymelonfucker is afeared that they are taking over.

What's wrong, Melonfuck? The idea of a future where you as a minority are treated the way you've always treated minorities causes you to shit your pants in fear? Maybe Ted Nugent will take you under his poop-encrusted wing.

Neo Tuxedo said...

@CW: Yeah, that's what I assumed he was implying, but since he didn't have the balls to say it outright, he has plausible deniability if anyone draws the only conclusion a reasonable person could draw from his juxtapositions, and not only that, he'd feel justified in claiming we'd just demonstrated that Libruls R Teh Real Racisms (TM). That was one of the reasons I was inviting him to put up or shut up.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...


Ha ha. Those tax guys just like to audit everybody. Whoa, good thing she wasn't in the army, or they'd have raped and tortured them and spirited them away to Gitmo too. Ha.

Neo Tuxedo said...

I was more struck by the bit where Ms-Karp-the-unionthug-teacher is now apparently an IRS worker.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Hey, how many different people can one artist draw??

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kip W [Muffaroo] said...


Does anyone else wonder if Tinsley's trying to lay the groundwork for an insanity defense? His work has been pretty much flat-affect for a while now, but lately he's gone beyond regurgitating the talking points and retreated into his own awful little world.

Tog said...

Pick the better husband/father:
(1) Dick Cheney
(2) George W. Bush
(3) Newt Gingrich
(4) Rush Limbaugh
(5) Barack Hussein Obama

Neo Tuxedo said...

It's possible, Kip, but it assumes he's done something legally actionable, and as far as I know, it's not actually illegal to be a complete lying servant of power.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Neo, it could be that he's preparing for something actionable.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Frank Stone said...

Hey, Bruce -- were you likewise farting bricks over all this shit? No? Huh. I guess that must not have been as scandalous as line dancing, then. Never mind.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...


By a coincidence, I'm heading out myself. All this means is that if I comment during the next few days, I'll be compensated at the handsome Vacation Rate, which is a percentage deal.

Insurgy Engines, everybody!

Frank Stone said...

I'd recommend that Mallard start Facebooking his vacation even though he's not going anywhere, because tricking burglars into trying to rob his apartment is the only way he's ever going to have any visitors.

Neo Tuxedo said...


As usual, there are two possible reasons for yesterday's interruption of the narrative flow:
1) The vestigial editor stopped the strip he was going to write;
2) His brainmeats just had to share their latest attack of deathless wisdom, unhindered by relevance to the point he was trying to make.

CW in LA said...


In which Mallard answers the question, How flimsy does a straw man have to before he can knock it down?

Frank Stone said...

Um. Couple things, Mallard:

1) That's quite a lifelike straw man you've got there. How long did it take for you to build him and pre-record that drivel he's speaking? I know how difficult complex tasks (thinking, for example) can be for you.

2) Since "the next election" is the 2014 midterms and Obama will not be running either then or in 2016 (since he will have already served 2 terms, which I know just makes you mad enough to piss blood), why would the "scandals" you mention -- which are ostensibly Obama's exclusive property -- affect how your straw man votes?

Yeah -- reality can be a real bitch when you're sober, huh, ducky?

Tog said...

Cite surveys and quote actual statements to display real-life stupidity of teabaggers: WEE WEE WEEEEE THATS NOT FAIR U R MEEEEN

Use the most preposterous strawmen imaginable to depict liberals as idiot "low-information voters": HUH HUH HUH TINSLEY TELLS IT LIKE IT IS U ANEURYSM BRO?

Damn, I'm SO happy Republicans have decided to double down on the stupidity, driving away everyone they can; had "rebranding" been successful, they might win an important election again. WITEPAWAR MORANS FART FART!!

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